yay I earn £2100 per month...

[CeceliaStrange]

into London, better paid job.

Nursery costs for 2= £2400 (£2600 at another)
Travel to work=£146

AIBU to be upset that the only option may be leaving a well paid job because whilst we can just scrape by on DH salary with certainly can't afford for me to pay £450 to work :-(

How do people do it? I'm proud of my job

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I'm not sure why anyone expects the state to fund childcare, how would that be fair to those without children?

That's a bizarre argument. People have different needs at different times, some of which the state does/doesn't help with.

Most posters have suggested ways to reduce costs or increase income - I didn't see anyone suggesting that the state should subsidise the cost?

I hope you work it out OP.

It really is a bugger and is one of the reasons we have such a big gap. Couldn't afford to pay childcare costs for both of them at the same time.

I am in NE London and know a (qualified, experienced) nanny who charges £10 per hour and might be interested in term time only (she has a school-ages child herself). Pm me if you want her contact details!

Have you thought about dumping London and moving to another city? Education management is surely nationwide?

Not that I have a clue - but I do know a nursery in York would cost about £1000 - £1600 for both children, depending on location and what have you.

I also know some families who commute to London to work. York to Kings Cross is 1hr 5omin, Leeds to KingsX is about 1hr 30.

It all sucks. For sure.

Front loader -that's very likely to be £10 net per hour, not gross

Its tough, but what you're facing is the reality for many parents.

The only sensible thing is to take the long term view. You say you are both in senior jobs in teaching- well, if you give up work now, you'll probably struggle to get even a basic grade teaching Job in a few years as its hard to get into and you'll be out of the loop. Plus you're losing out on your pension.

You must had known when you had 2 children close together that their nursery care would overlap a lot. Not a criticism btw- Because frankly, even if youd left a 4 yr gap like many working parents, to get one in school before next one in nursery, you'd still be paying the same costs overall- just spreading it over a longer period. So there's no right or wrong way- you're taking the financial hit now, in a condensed period of time. Having said that, your 15 hours free care will help, and again, I think you need to look at the bigger picture. My work colleagues with older children never got those sort of perks and just had to manage.

It's a tought time and I think people like you genuinely are the 'squeezed middle'- and it's frustrating Because lots of people would probably assume you and your dh are rolling in it because on paper your salaries are good- but what many people don't realise is that when you have to pay all your bills and childcare yourself, you can end up worse off than people on lower incomes

Anyway- I would definitely hang on in there, you would so regret jacking in a good career for the sake of the next couple of years

I actually think that those with out children might end up with more money in their pockets if women with young children were helped back to work through subsidies or tax breaks.

If a woman works then she pays out lots of her income in tax. She then pays a nursery, childminder or nanny who in their turn pay tax on their income. If she doesnt work then no tax at all gets paid. She may then lose skills and confidence after years out of the workplace and either not return to work or return at a lower level hence paying less tax. There is also the question of contribution her work will make to the wider economy by increasing the profits of the company for whom she works.

It is only when the woman does a non specialist job and her gross income would be less than the gross income of the childcare provider that economically speaking you could say she would be best employed at home.

None of this of course if to say that women who want to shouldn't stay home with their kids!

I think allowing nannys to be self employed would be a good start. The lower NI contributions could make all the difference for people with two or more children needing care and the government would still be picking up plenty of tax along the way.

Sorry the above was a reply to MummyToMogs comment. Good luck OP!

That should have said the comment made by Ratty. Sorry I am obviously not fully awake yet.

Also wondering if you can relocate.
There are some lovely parts of the country up north where housing and childcare cost less. And I am guessing that although Teaching salaries are less outside London that it's offset by the cheaper cost of living.

I have definitely had my eyes opened by reading threads on Mumsnet about the cost of living/ childcare in the south.

I'm a childminder up north who charges £3.50 an hour all in and offers term time only places, because it suits my family - as I only have to work a few days in the hols and get to spend time with my lovely boys.

Have you called any CM to ask about term time only? Or would you prefer a nursery?
Try your Family Information Service at your LA for a list of CM. You could also find one close to work so that you aren't paying for the commute.

Be wary of thinking you can take a break. When I came back from mat leave i halved my hours. At the time there was no problem in putting your hours back up. Now times have changed and they have flat out refused to increase my hours.

In my experience with childcare, if you don't ask, you don't get. We had a childminder who was happy to work flexible hours, ranging from full time to no time at all, with us only paying for the time we used. The downside was that sometimes she wasn't free, but everybody told us we would never find an arrangement like that. Not only have we found it, but several of our friends have managed to make similar arrangements with CMs who for whatever reason don't want another mindee full time, but don't mind having the odd day or week here and there.

So I bet you could find a term time only nanny or CM if you advertised or rang around local CMs. Or a nannyshare with a family with older kids, where it would work out really well if you didn't use the nanny during holidays...

This is exactly why, if you have a reasonably well paid partner, and you do not qualify for WTT or subsidised childcare it is quite often completely counter-productive to bother to go to work at all, unless you are in the higher tax bracket, all things considered.

Reasonably affluent MC mums often get knocked for being lazy, kept women but the reality is that working is just not worth the hassle unless you have a job you love so much you'd gladly do it for pennies, or even pay for the privilege or you hate being in your children's company all day.

YANBU OP. Its ridiculous, who wants to live in a country which provides such a standard of living for young, clever women? And what country actively creates a situation where young, clever women are deterred from having children by effectively having their wages wiped out?

That said, I'd do the job as a sort of temporary loss leader and hope to improve your circumstances by one of the options discussed above in the near future eg moving out of London, 4 days a week, different childcare provision.

But I'd definately keep my hand in in the job if I were you. Its too good an opportunity in the present economic climate to turn down and you might be promoted/earn more in a couple of years, whereas if you SAH, you might not even get such a good job and forever be trapped in low pay/no promotion.

I agree. Someone said upthread that you'll be able to return
To teaching no problem after a few years out... Well, I'm
Not so sure. My niece completed her post grad teaching qualification last summer ( with a good degree in her subject) and has only just found a temporary position, since sept she has done supply work.

I also know teachers who are struggling to get even classroom
Assistant posts after a few years out. Unless you are highly specialised and in a shortage subject I would think very carefully before giving up. I'm not in teaching but in a similar position in that a few years out would effectively put me out of the running for decent jobs. I feel your pain op as we were in your position but I don't regret keeping on working as I could be sitting at home or 'under employed' and bored out of my skull now if I'd given up

I'm the OP and I thought I'd update. This morning I went to the children's centre to find the lovely girl who works there upset as her job's going in April (as is most the centre), she was saying how she can't afford to go back to a private nursery for work as she has a son 1 month younger than mine who she takes to work at the moment. Private nursery pays less than it charges in fees! She said she was thinking of nannying a go if she could find a family who'd let her take her son, but said this may be impossible.

We've come to an agreement!

and thank you to all who tried to help!

Just for those who asked I would struggle to get back into work, although I'm a teacher I haven't taught my own class in years, I've been in a leadership/ SEN role. I'd end up unattractive to employ as a CT as I'd earn highly on the scale with no recent experience of things like the new literacy and numeracy and unattractive to employ as a leader with no recent experience, especially in SEN as here are huge changes afoot over the next few years. I would be a bit unemployable potentially after a few years.

I am in London (central) - my CM is £200 for one child, but she gives me a discount on the 2nd. Oldest is now in school & has separate after school care but when CM has both (in holidays) she charges £300 pw.

Keep looking? It's very tough I know. I have a bigger age gap but then it means the pain is drawn out longer

ah result!
well done

Oh, that was lucky! Well, for the pair of you anyway :) Hurrah!

Enjoy your new job!

Serendipity! Love it!

that's great,I really hope it works out for all of you sounds like a perfect solution

It is awful and my heart goes out to you. Our situation will be similar when we (hopefully) have DC2. If we were younger I would go for a bigger gap, but I'm 37.

I'm sorry, there is no easy answer.