Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

yay I earn £2100 per month...

152 replies

CeceliaStrange · 06/02/2013 11:55

into London, better paid job.

Nursery costs for 2= £2400 (£2600 at another)
Travel to work=£146

AIBU to be upset that the only option may be leaving a well paid job because whilst we can just scrape by on DH salary with certainly can't afford for me to pay £450 to work :-(

How do people do it? I'm proud of my job

OP posts:
titchy · 06/02/2013 12:57

Presumably with a 3 month old you're on ML, so you don't need to go back to work till September, by which time your oldest will be just 3. So oldest will start school September 2014, so you have one year of struggle, then it starts to be OK. In fact as you're both teachers you could take your oldest out of nursery next July, leaving you 10 months of being £450 a month short.

Go interest only for a year? Save like mad now?

I do think it's worth going back, you get your pension conts paid for a start.

MustafaCake · 06/02/2013 12:58

I feel your pain Cecelia. We are also in London on what I think are 2 decent salaries.

We had to have a 4 year gap between our children because we simply could not afford to have 2 kids in nursery at the same time.

Even with 1 in nursery and 1 in before/after school club it's a bit of a struggle.

Hope you can sort something out so you can keep your job as it's so difficult to find work when you've had time out.

ceeveebee · 06/02/2013 13:00

£15 per hour is silly money even for London. Unless its a nanny share in which case each family pays half (or whatever proportion)

I pay £12 ph to my nanny who looks after my 14 mo twins. SW London

If you go back to work in July will you get paid full pay for the summer holidays? Then can save that up and at least fund the first few months of losses!

I think a term time only nanny (a mother of school age DCs) might be an option especially if you are happy for her to bring her DCs in the morning and afternoons.

aufaniae · 06/02/2013 13:05

Would term-time only make it viable? In your shoes I would definitely explore this. Here are a couple more, again just to show it's possible.

A nanny offering term-time only for example Not sure where she is exactly, somewhere in North London.

Another nanny offering term-time only (she looks about 12 but claims to be 27!)

Why not contact all the CMs and Nannies in your area who look decent form that website and ask them if they do term time only contracts?

CailinRua · 06/02/2013 13:10

Have you thought of requesting a career break? Schools are very good at granting these now and I know lots of teacher friends who have taken career breaks, varying from one to five years. This would mean you could stay home with your children until they are both nursery/school which would only mean after school care.

littlemrssleepy · 06/02/2013 13:16

OP - beware of this "DH earns a little more and has better opportunity for promotion right now, in family interests it would be my job that went."

At the point I went on mat leave with my DS, DH and I earned equally between us what he now earns himself. About half way through my mat leave DH was offered a promotion and like you, we thought it was in the family interest as it made childcare easier, and a I got a job working 4 days a week closer to help so I could do nursery runs and have a slightly less stressful / senior job.

We then had a DD, moved area which meant I left my job (DH commutes to London still) and at the moment I do not work (well trying to set up my own business so should get off mumsnet

Our gross income is therefore the same, but because we no longer benefit from my tax free allowance and proportion of basic rate tax we pay £12000 (TWELVE THOUSAND!!) a year more in tax. And have lost our child benefit.

We are lucky that DH earns a good salary and therefore am not complaining as such - but wish we had thought it through properly before deciding it was in the family interest or my sanity's interest.

So, be careful if your DH is a higher tax rate payer as every £1000 he earns is only worth £600 after tax, let along pension and NI. You would be much better to make use of both of your tax free allowance / basic rate tax.

BlueberryHill · 06/02/2013 13:18

Watching with interest, I have 2 yo twins and a 6 yo, I couldn't square the circle and am in the same position as another poster earlier on.

TheSecondComing · 06/02/2013 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatherineKrupnik · 06/02/2013 13:32

Can you earn the extra £450 through tutoring etc?

MummytoMog · 06/02/2013 13:44

We pay our lovely (although temporary) nanny £350 a week for 8am-7pm [before I get flamed, she suggested £300 and we had to barter her up]. She is saving up and so having somewhere to live basically cost free means that she can save most of her salary so it works out well for her. If you pop an advert on childcare.co.uk saying what you can afford to pay and the hours you need, then I'm sure you will get at least a few people interested.

FWIW, our nanny is actually a qualified teacher, so not compromising on quality of care in my opinion. Tax and National Insurance is pretty minimal on this amount.

Squeakygate · 06/02/2013 14:21

I was going to suggest tutoring

MistyB · 06/02/2013 14:52

It is a difficult decision especially if you would go back to work without hesitation if cost were not an issue. It is harder but not impossible to get back into the job market after a break but a break will have an impact on your career and and the family dynamic.

A financial advisor may be able to help negotiate some flexibility in your mortgage.

Do either of you work near home? There may be a local parent at your school who needs a morning / after school nanny who could look after your children during the day. A childminder may also be able to do this and only cover school hours.

Think about how much your total shortfall will be and how you can bridge it, loan (perhaps from the bank or parents), extra income (marking, tutoring, holiday courses, adult evening classes, could you rent a room out for a year, a Monday to Friday commuter perhaps, could you rent your house out in the summer?

Good luck!!

MummytoKatie · 06/02/2013 15:28

Some nurseries also do term time only (or at least August off) as a lot of people who work in nurseries have school age kids so want the summer hols off.

Investigate the 15 hours thing - some are better than others and it is the costs post the 15 hours that count.

Remember you will be better off than most once your eldest goes to school as you won't be shelling g out for holiday clubs so it is only one year you have the nightmare for.

Agree with the others about returning for last week of summer term (could you get a family member to come and stay for that week?) so you can get paid for the summer.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 06/02/2013 15:29

Why doesn't your DH stay home with the children?....

TheMightyLois · 06/02/2013 15:42

Oh FGS, why can't people read the thread.

garlicblocks · 06/02/2013 16:01

You might get some Child Tax Credit. Also Child Benefit? They might help make a dent in the deficit. Two-year-olds will qualify for up to 15hrs free nursery (I think) from Sept this year.

Of course you shouldn't turn down a better job because you can't afford it, at least not before cutting every possible corner. I had no idea how cheaply I can live until I had to! In London, you can find quite a lot for free and have access to shared resources, so your lives don't have to become pathetically small even without spare funds.

Please do explore some of the lateral thinking on this thread, too. Good ideas!

25sunshine · 06/02/2013 16:01

You say you are both teachers - have you thought about exploiting the fact that you could cope with term-time childcare only? Maybe it's worth exploring whether you can leverage off that - i.e. work with someone (a childcare professional or someone else you trust) who has children at school and is their main carer and is therefore not able to have a 'normal' full time job because of holiday and after school childcare commitments. You could end up with something very affordable (because you'd only be paying for the amount of time that you really need), which, at the same time would be earning potential for someone who has ended up being the stay at home carer - so they would be highly motivated. Could be a win-win...

titchy · 06/02/2013 16:03

Right so go back in July and get paid for August. That should just about cover the shortfall till January. So you'll need to find 6 months times £450 which £2700. Between now and then can you save say £10 a week on your food bill - that would only then leave you £2000 short which you could possibly chuck on overdraft. Or tutor? Or take in ironing?!

elvisola · 06/02/2013 16:05

Definitely try childminders, I am a bit out of the way for you (N.London borders) but currently look after siblings and charge £70 per day for both children £1400 a month term time only. No charge during holidays.

Worth making a few calls.

enjoyingscience · 06/02/2013 16:34

Is the nursery fee for 52 weeks, or term time only? If it's term time only then your actual monthly cost over the course of the year would be lower, and you can still collect vouchers during months when you use less/no childcare, so that would bring it down further.

I do sympathise though - this is the main reason my 4.5 yo DS is still an only! We're just doing the maths now for number 2, and they don't look great. After school and holiday care really adds up, even when they go to school. :(

noUggscuse · 06/02/2013 16:59

Do either of your employers offer childcare vouchers? That helps pay for childcare out of your salary pre tax. A massive help.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 06/02/2013 17:00

Term time nanny.
My sis has one-nanny has dc so works well for her. I think it's nicer than a ft nursery as well, for babies.
Don't give up your career if it is important to you.
You may never get it back.

Collaborate · 06/02/2013 17:00

Wasn't there a thread recently slating the government for relaxing the staff-child ratio for nurderies? Isn't that like saying that because they make Rolls Royces, all our cars must be as safe and as lavishly appointed?

I agree that child care should be made more affordable.

Even £1,000 a month per child sounds extortionate.

Oblomov · 06/02/2013 17:23

OP has not responded about the interest only mortgage. why?
And her dh is in management so is on a good salary. as is she. Their combined income is very good.
So, I appreciate that this is tough, but it is for a very very short time, only ONE year, as we have agrred, that she is on mat leave now, and come sept, oldest gets funding.
So, I'm sorry but I really can't see that this is a huge problem. It is just a short term one, for those that choose to have 2 children very close together.
Soe people have a big age gap, others very close. but each has its pro's and cons.

HerRoyalNotness · 06/02/2013 17:46

Just a quick Q, the nanny rates of 12.50ph gross, is there an employers NI contribution etc.. on top of this rate? I've been caught out here in Canada, and while I paid $15ph gross, it cost me over $17ph by the time I added in other employer costs to the govt. Interested as we may be moving to London soon and will need to look at childcare options.

I agree with others who say to look long term, and juggle where you can to stay in work. I can do it easily now as childcare is very cheap here, but we will be scrimping on a London move for sure.