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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU unreasonable to think that it's okay to take a baby to a gig?

75 replies

BridgetBidet · 05/02/2013 12:00

Really weird story in the mail today (apols for linking to the mail but that's where the story is). Apparently nethuns have gone mental about it.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2273707/Mother-41-takes-month-old-baby-drum-bass-rave-Wales.html

Ignoring the rather hysterical headline of 'baby taken to a rave' what's actually happened is a mother who is breastfeeding has taken her baby to a gig in an arts centre in Aberystwyth. Her other daughter was playing with her band at the gig so the mother has put ear defenders on the baby and gone to see her daughters gig?

Am I missing the reason for the hysteria here? The baby's ears were protected, the mother was breastfeeding so she was sober and responsible. It's not a rave in an abandoned warehouse it's in a respectable venue FFS.

If we're supposed to be encouraging breastfeeding shouldn't we be making it more acceptable for mother's to feed at events like this.

I certainly don't think it warrants the police and social services involvement and the DJ lambasting her over the PA. Surely if there was a licencing issue such as those at a nightclub and children couldn't be present they should just have asked her to leave rather than being this heavy handed?

I can't understand why taking a fully protected baby to gig is such a big issue it's in the national press.

OP posts:

froggybum · 05/02/2013 13:45

feel*

DoItToJulia · 05/02/2013 13:45

No you don't Miranda! She may not have been!

CelticPromise · 05/02/2013 13:51

Yanbu. Poor bloody woman, what a ridiculous hysterical reaction. I love the way they put her age in the headline too. Not only is she irresponsible, she's 41! She's probably been doing outrageous things like Having A Career!

And Aberystwyth Arts Centre ffs, it's hardly a den of iniquity.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 05/02/2013 13:54

Yes I'm sure that she was on drugs. I mean she took her breastfed son while she supported her daughter by watching her perform with her band, what an evil horrible excuse for a mother she is....

froggybum · 05/02/2013 14:05

Oh and DM got it wrong, it was near the arts centre but not in it. It was in the Union. Sadly, the DM will only fuel some of the nastiness directed at the mother from the town. I agree that from the DM it does sound mountain out of a molehill but, it isn't, it was a seriously lack of judgment and as a previous blackhouse fan myself (Now I'm a mum it's not my scene) It really is a miracle that he came out unscathed. When is was my scene however I'd have been horrified if I'd seen a baby there... (well I'd have thought I was tripping out) But I'd have been annoyed because to be honest accidents can and do happen at these things due to drugs and booze and I don't think the people who'd gone would appreciate being put in a awful position if something did happen.

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 05/02/2013 14:22

froggybumTue 05-Feb-13 13:23:04 I name changed because I don't want to be identified but I'm from Aberystwyth and have been to blackhouse events before. Honestly now it's not the environment for a baby, I'd rather loose my leg than take my baby there. I'd be happy to take my baba to festivals, parties etc but blackhouse... hell no! It's like a really dingy nightclub environment (although I'd have less of a problem taking my baby to a nightclub than there) where most people there are gurning their faces off, fights break out, booze everywhere... just take it from me it was a bad judgement call on her part. Anything could have happened, it's not as simple as just hearing damage. I've come away from there covered in bruises.

Someone who has actually been to one of these, that helps. Its hard to imagine what it is like whilst ignoring the sensationalist crap that's so often on that website.

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 05/02/2013 14:23

How old was the performing daughter then?

froggybum · 05/02/2013 14:37

As far as I'm aware there were no issues with performing daughter's age so over 18 I guess.

Also, just to add I did breastfeed, never pumped, took my baby everywhere with me but I wouldn't have gone to this event with a baby. I would however take a baby and bf at the events like midsummer madness, and castle rock. Both in the town, both held during the day and run into the night and both have a family friendly atmosphere. I'm a big supporter of breastfeeding and children experiencing live music. But a drum and bass drug fuelled gig... no thanks. It's not an issue of bf it's an issue of the baby shouldn't have been there in the first place. It was dangerous.

What is interesting is the security are local guys who got flamed for this publicly. They have been defending themselves and have said she was in the venue with the artist prior to security arriving, and they would never have allowed the baby in. The baby was reported to them which is why the police announced it. (Bet everybody got a bit edgy when they saw the police about!) But DM claims that her and the baby were allowed in by police. All a bit fishy.

SamanthaStormer · 05/02/2013 14:39

Well, sounds like I'm in the minority, but never mind. Regardless of whether it's a huge rave, or a smaller scale gig, it's still late at night, surrounded by drunk people, and extremely loud music.
Ear defenders or not, it's still not in the baby's best interests, is it?! Should be asleep in it's own cot at that time, not being carted around at loud music festivals.

buggerama · 05/02/2013 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gooeyhead · 05/02/2013 14:55

I remember going to a spice girls concert (I know I know!!!) at my local arena (14000 people) years ago and David Beckham was there with 12 month old Brooklyn.... The press thought it was super cute to see Brooklyn wearing ear defenders and watching Victoria on stage!! I fail to see the difference!!!

fromparistoberlin · 05/02/2013 14:56

can I buck the trend here???

I think a small 4 month baby belongs at home, sorry

now I do not think she deserves the Daily Mail shite, silly story

But I also think she should have pumped the milk, and got a babysitter

she is only getting away with it on here cos she breastfed

has she been formula feeding, BURN THE WITCH

inverse snobbery

and lets not compare happy sunny day festivals with a flipping nightclub!

BiddyPop · 05/02/2013 15:01

Imelda May brought her baby on stage at the NYE concert in Dublin City at the end of it, and sang last song with babe in her arms (well wrapped up aginst cold and also wearing ear defenders). I thought it was great to see!! (Alcohol free gig).

MummytoMog · 05/02/2013 15:27

I rolled my eyes a lot when I read it. Presumably it's fine to take tiny babies to panto though, where a THOUSAND children will be screaming out in joy/terror/rage/frustration...

MummytoMog · 05/02/2013 15:28

My EBF baby wouldn't drink from a bottle at all. So not quite as simple as express and leave at home.

Maryz · 05/02/2013 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gooeyhead · 05/02/2013 15:41

I'm confused at the mention of drugs?? Nowhere in the article does it mention EVIDENCE of drugs being taken, are we now just assuming drugs or have I missed something?

DoItToJulia · 05/02/2013 15:53

Gooeyhead, it's an assumption and its driving me mad! Sensationalist crap!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 05/02/2013 15:58

I know the mothers elder daughter (from years ago, am not claiming to be best mates) and just read about it on facebook. Its a massive over reaction. I think as long as a child is well protected, looked after and safe (which he was) then whats the big deal? And plenty of people are on the streets on drugs, does that mean people with babies shouldn't venture outside? And i've been to plenty of raves were there are safe happy babies present.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 05/02/2013 16:02

And i've also been to many events at that art centre and its not some dingy drug den actually

YouOldSlag · 05/02/2013 16:08

I was keeping an open mind on this until I read froggybum's post about what these Blackhouse events are really like.

Now I think the mother was BU. It was nearly 1 am and as froggybum said, it's usually pretty rough and pretty loud and was in the union not the Arts Centre.

Bad judgement call but the DM should call off the witch hunt.

hazelangell · 05/02/2013 17:38

DoItToJulia - I know many people who attended the event and I know 100% fact that there were people there on drugs. I'm sorry but anyone who makes a concious decision to have people who have taken drugs or drink around their very young child, especially strangers, need to have a word with themselves.

As for people smoking joints in the street as one other person stated it is far from the same thing - this place was packed with hardly room to move! People were queuing for over 2hours to get in. I'm sorry but in my opinion she should never have been allowed in to an OVER 18 event with a very young baby.

ItsAFuckingVase · 05/02/2013 18:40

I go to a fair few gigs, and very few of them would have been suitable for a baby.

I've lost count how how many people have bumped into me, spilling my beer (or me theirs!), and there are usually a fair few people taking drugs etc too. I really don't think it's a suitable environment at all. Not so much the music, but the very close crowds, surges etc.

froggybum · 05/02/2013 18:44

Like hazel I know many people that went, and I know for a fact that drugs were taken by a bloody lot of them. Everyone locally knows it drug taking scene, that's why the huge uproar I think.

thesnootyfox · 05/02/2013 23:06

I'm not sure that a gig is appropriate for a baby. If you want to go to one get a babysitter.

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