Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU unreasonable to think that it's okay to take a baby to a gig?

75 replies

BridgetBidet · 05/02/2013 12:00

Really weird story in the mail today (apols for linking to the mail but that's where the story is). Apparently nethuns have gone mental about it.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2273707/Mother-41-takes-month-old-baby-drum-bass-rave-Wales.html

Ignoring the rather hysterical headline of 'baby taken to a rave' what's actually happened is a mother who is breastfeeding has taken her baby to a gig in an arts centre in Aberystwyth. Her other daughter was playing with her band at the gig so the mother has put ear defenders on the baby and gone to see her daughters gig?

Am I missing the reason for the hysteria here? The baby's ears were protected, the mother was breastfeeding so she was sober and responsible. It's not a rave in an abandoned warehouse it's in a respectable venue FFS.

If we're supposed to be encouraging breastfeeding shouldn't we be making it more acceptable for mother's to feed at events like this.

I certainly don't think it warrants the police and social services involvement and the DJ lambasting her over the PA. Surely if there was a licencing issue such as those at a nightclub and children couldn't be present they should just have asked her to leave rather than being this heavy handed?

I can't understand why taking a fully protected baby to gig is such a big issue it's in the national press.

OP posts:
FatimaLovesBread · 05/02/2013 13:08

The dj branded her an irresponsible s*t. What's that then? Not shit as too many stars. Stwat? Scunt?

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 05/02/2013 13:08

Babies should be banned from anywhere public too then since we can't control anyones actions Confused

PaellaUmbrella · 05/02/2013 13:08

I don't think it was an over-reaction either. In the Sun there is a camera phone picture of the mother and baby and she's not stood at the back, she's in the middle of loads of people dancing.

It was an indoors drum n bass night, hazellangell is correct that there undoubtedly would have been people there on drugs, and the baby was right in the middle of it. Several people called the police - were they all overreacting?

Unusually, I'm with Netmums on this one.

miranda13 · 05/02/2013 13:09

Seriously though - it was a rave even though at an arts centre - she was raving with 4 month old baby Django (says it all), totally irresponsible when everyone else would have been off their faces.

BaronessBomburst · 05/02/2013 13:10

It's the Daily Mail and the baby was breastfed. What more do you expect?

NopeStillNothing · 05/02/2013 13:11

yanbu OP, I thought the same thing. If you want to get really irritated then you should read the comments section on this story in The Sun. But then ofcourse ywbu for reading The Sun Grin

DoItToJulia · 05/02/2013 13:16

Where does it say people were asking drugs hazel?

It was a gig at an arts centre not a rave in a crack den. This is precisely why the uk has a reputation for being a bit baby unfriendly.

miranda13 · 05/02/2013 13:16

I'm glad social services are involved.

Most of my friends were keen clubbers and have since all had children. None would have dreamed of taking small babies to dance events like that, and i doubt whether many on MN would either.

When they are older, perhaps, but 4 month babies at drum and bass dance events that are going on at 1 am, dancing. People carrying glasses, perhaps lairy, bit pissed, maybe stoned, e-ing?

It's bonkers and i'm not surprised the DJ and others stepped in to stop what amounts to child abuse.

DoItToJulia · 05/02/2013 13:18

Taking drugs, not asking.

miranda13 · 05/02/2013 13:19

DoitJulia

You are crazy if you think that the UK is seen as baby unfriendly because people raise social welfare concerns about a 16 week old infant being thrown around a dancefloor at 1am surrounded by clubbers.

You are the unreasonable one here - get some perspective. Babies can't go everywhere and aren't the centre of the universe - mothers have to compromise, particularly in the early months.

DoItToJulia · 05/02/2013 13:20

What, a 5 year old is better off in that environment?

Who said she was there at 1 am?

Am I missing facts here?

DoItToJulia · 05/02/2013 13:21

Ok Miranda, we have different perspectives. But try to stick to facts! Sensationalising something you disagree with doesn't strengthen your argument!

miranda13 · 05/02/2013 13:22

The police were called by several clubbers around 12:30 a.m and the baby and mother led away shortly afterwards. Wouldnt' surprise me if the mother was drunk.

froggybum · 05/02/2013 13:23

I name changed because I don't want to be identified but I'm from Aberystwyth and have been to blackhouse events before. Honestly now it's not the environment for a baby, I'd rather loose my leg than take my baby there. I'd be happy to take my baba to festivals, parties etc but blackhouse... hell no! It's like a really dingy nightclub environment (although I'd have less of a problem taking my baby to a nightclub than there) where most people there are gurning their faces off, fights break out, booze everywhere... just take it from me it was a bad judgement call on her part. Anything could have happened, it's not as simple as just hearing damage. I've come away from there covered in bruises. (all that being said, it's great if you're an adult and off your face!)

That being said, I actually really feel for her, the town has gone wild with it and she's publicly named as a bad mother, 'disgusting', 'sick in the head' and people are saying her baby should be taken from her. It's awful for her and her family. This town is so unforgiving when it comes to things like this. I also feel awful for her young high school age daughter who had to see her mother being ripped apart via facebook groups because pictures of her mum and the baby were taken. All in all a sad situation for everyone. I bet part of her is wishing she'd got her friend to record the set now... poor thing.

OHforDUCKScake · 05/02/2013 13:24

YANBU at all. The child was with its presumably sober mother. Asleep with ear defenders on at 10pm and it was not a rave.

Its absolutely no different from taking children to festivals. As long as you are sober, safe and plan things well then there is no harm.

If it was a tired crying 3 year old then it would be a different matter.

But it wasnt. It was a sleeping baby being held by its mother. It'd probably prefer that then being in a cot alone upstairs while the mum was in her living room watching TOWIE.

miranda13 · 05/02/2013 13:24

thanks Froggybum - i knew i wasn't being sensationalist - it's all rather sad.

PaellaUmbrella · 05/02/2013 13:29

thanks for posting froggybum. common sense told me what people would have been off their tits, has anybody here ever been to a dnb night where- people weren't?!

honeytea · 05/02/2013 13:29

A 4 month old has no understanding of what is going on around them so even if there were people taking drugs they wouldn't understand what was going on.

Maybe the writers of the article also think pregnant women should stay at home.

I was taken to festivals as a small child, some of my best childhood memories are from festivals.

PaellaUmbrella · 05/02/2013 13:29

that, not what

TroublesomeEx · 05/02/2013 13:33

Sounds like it's just the DM finding another reason to hate women.

That's all.

froggybum · 05/02/2013 13:34

It is a rave. It is a drug fuelled event. No question that the vast majority were on something. It was a mistake on the mother's part. I say this as a mother who will take my baby to festivals and to see bands and honestly it is not the same thing. I wouldn't dream of taking my children to blackhouse!

honeytea · 05/02/2013 13:34

From froggies post I would say it is more inappropriate to let a highschool aged child be in that environment.

sashh · 05/02/2013 13:37

I'm sick of babies and small children being taken everywhere nowadays

Not like the old days, 30 years ago, when one of my friends was being driven out of Baghdad, while the tanks rolled in on the other side, and her baby son slept on the back seat.

froggybum · 05/02/2013 13:38

To clarify as far as I'm aware the high school girl didn't attend. She just defended her mother when local facebook groups posted the picture of her mum and brother with the caption 'and the award for the best mother goes to...' Then the town went crazy about it all with really nasty comments. I really for her that she had to go to school yest and face it all Sad

miranda13 · 05/02/2013 13:43

the mother may herself have been on drugs. you never know.