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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not have "rinsed out" the shitty pants?

56 replies

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 05/02/2013 10:59

Small boy (age 5) came to play with my DS yesterday. He went to the loo and called me for help. It was a fairly serious code brown incident (smeared all over his trousers, pants, bum & legs, handprints on the tiles, etc) so I cleaned it all up and changed him into clean pants & trousers that belonged to my DS. Didn't make a big deal out of it and just put his dirty pants and trousers in a bag and gave it to his mum when I took him home.

But...when I told my mum about it all she was horrified that I didn't wash the clothes before sending him home. Should I have? Am I a dirty skank for giving his mum a bag of shitty clothes?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/02/2013 11:01

I don't think there is a right or a wrong here

You took care of the child and that's the most important thing.

Feminine · 05/02/2013 11:03

You can't really fiddle around with poo can you? My dd had an accident of the same nature last week, I flung the lot in the bin!

Its not nice to receive a parcel off poo-y clothes from a play date, but you couldn't be expected to dig through it.

So...YANBU :)

25catsnameSam · 05/02/2013 11:03

No YANBU, you sent him home in clean clothes and didn't make a big deal about it.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 05/02/2013 11:03

YANBU. You cleaned her kid up and loaned him clean clothes. Why should you also wash his shitty stuff?

Nagoo · 05/02/2013 11:04

Presumably we are talking skids not a turd in a bag?

YANBU. I doubt you'd have had time to give them the full laundry service and I'd rather have had them back than waited while you tumble dried them!

It's her kids shit, she'll get over
It. You didn't leave him filthy!

TooManyDicksOnTheDancefloor · 05/02/2013 11:04

Our childminder used to send home shitty clothes in a bag when dd had an accident, she never washed them out and I wouldn't have expected her to. YANU.

CashmereHoodlum · 05/02/2013 11:06

No, of course you shouldn't have rinsed them. When my DC had a similar accident I was very grateful to my friends who had to stick DC in the shower to be hosed down mid-meal. They presented the pants back to me tied up in a plastic bag then tastefully presented in a Hotel Chocolat gift bag. They were not rinsed and I would not have expected them to be. I bin pants after that sort of incident now.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 05/02/2013 11:06

Yanbu. Rinsing the clothes would have been above and beyond call of duty. You sorted the kid that's all I'd worry about. I wouldn't expect anyone to wash my dds shitty clothes.

BarbarianMum · 05/02/2013 11:07

I think you had a responsibility to clean him up and provide some clean clothes you did. You are not a laundry service.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 05/02/2013 11:08

At the very least I would have rinsed them - it is easier to rinse off wet poo

If there was time I would have put them through the wash.

blackeyedsusan · 05/02/2013 11:08

no way wash the clothes as well. she should be grateful you dealt with him rather than called her to deal with him...

Katla · 05/02/2013 11:10

Nah, poo is bad enough when it's your own child. If you reverse the situation - I'd not mind getting the poo bag clothes back to sort (or chuck in bin!)

My brother tipped a large container of fairy liquid water over his friend who was wearing a puffa type jacket when they were 5, (they were making bubbles) - no matter how often she rinsed it it kept doing more and more soapy bubbles. Then it went a bit flat cos it had been washed and pummeled so much Confused

blackeyedsusan · 05/02/2013 11:10

move it. if they were in a plastic bag, the poo would still be wet enough to rinse out at home. also voice of experience.

iwouldgoouttonight · 05/02/2013 11:11

YANBU. DS has an ongoing issue with wetting and soiling himself so he very rarely plays at friend's houses without me there. But I'd he did poo himself at someone else's house I'd have been extremely grateful that they'd cleaned him up and there is no way on earth I'd have expected them to wash his pants.

We regularly get bags of dirty clothes home from school with a big poo still in there with them so i'm used to it!

Justforlaughs · 05/02/2013 11:12

Assuming that you tipped anything major down the toilet than YWNBU, but if I'd had time I would have rinsed them through in the washing machine before returning them (and if it had been my kid I would have binned the bag anyway). Maybe next time ring your mother to come round and do the job for you! Grin

tedmundo · 05/02/2013 11:13

YANBU .. My DS very, very occasionally does this and I just accept the carrier bag of shitty clothes from pre school and then bin them. Trying to wash them out makes the washing machine smell

On the one occasion they had rinsed them out I felt soooo guilty. Not their job.

Speedos · 05/02/2013 11:15

As mum of a 5 year old who frequently soils I would have thrown them in the bin! YANBU well done for cleaning him up.

JamNan · 05/02/2013 11:17

Old voice of experience here. Put your hand in a large plastic bag up to your elbow. Hold shitty garment/s in the loo and flush a few times - it gets the worst of the poo off and helps stop a crusty build up. Then place garment inside placcie bag and present to other parent.

OK, as you were. Grin

YANBU, OP

choceyes · 05/02/2013 11:19

YANBU. It's not your job to rinse out pooey clothes. It's bad enough when it's your own DC, but somebody elses??
I have always binned pooey pants though, life's too short to shift poo off cheap pants. Although luckily my DS only done this a handful of times.

joydevivre · 05/02/2013 11:19

Nah what you did was ok. Its a parents call innit if clothes are for washing or binning.

I was peeved at my daughter's SN school one time for sending home a perfectly formed turd wrapped in a swimming costume. Did not expect em to wash but waving the cossie over the loo and releasing mr hanky would've been helpful

Original poster
BeautifulBlondePineapple · 05/02/2013 11:20

Haha - that's a great idea about ringing my Mum. I'll suggest that to her if she brings it up again.

Glad to hear that not everyone would expect them to be washed. I was worried I'd known as a filthy minger if it was mentioned at the school gate.

Poo is not my forte and I would have binned the lot if it had been my DS.

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 05/02/2013 11:20

YANBU. I think I'd have adopted JamNan's method of dealing with any particularly solid material but beyond that, I'd have bagged the clothes up, unwashed, and given them back.

JamNan · 05/02/2013 11:24

Pandemoniaa,
It's good for runny too!

(As I found out in last week's noro virus outbreak).

ghoulelocks · 05/02/2013 11:24

I'd just be very grateful you cleaned ds!

You know yanbu

NatashaBee · 05/02/2013 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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