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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not have "rinsed out" the shitty pants?

56 replies

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 05/02/2013 10:59

Small boy (age 5) came to play with my DS yesterday. He went to the loo and called me for help. It was a fairly serious code brown incident (smeared all over his trousers, pants, bum & legs, handprints on the tiles, etc) so I cleaned it all up and changed him into clean pants & trousers that belonged to my DS. Didn't make a big deal out of it and just put his dirty pants and trousers in a bag and gave it to his mum when I took him home.

But...when I told my mum about it all she was horrified that I didn't wash the clothes before sending him home. Should I have? Am I a dirty skank for giving his mum a bag of shitty clothes?

OP posts:

Adamit · 05/02/2013 11:29

yanbu at all!! you looked after the child made sure was cleaned up and put on clothes belonging to your own ds.

if she looked horrified at you when you handed them over i'd laugh and say "you aint seen nothing yet" and given her the bag, then turn pat her on the shoulder and say "enjoy!"

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 05/02/2013 11:36

On balance I would prefer a bag with dry clothes with poo on rather than sopping wet, still a bit pooey clothes. I also don't really mind dealing with my own child's poos but would not want to be closer than necessary to another child's.

OP - you were kind and did the right thing.

Porkster · 05/02/2013 11:41

This has happened to me twice with children's friends.

The first time, we were at a theme park and I threw the boy's pants in the bin.

Second time, we were at home and I washed and dried the shitty pants, trousers and even socks before he went home.

rednellie · 05/02/2013 12:12

People throw away perfectly good clothes because there's poo on them?

Porkster · 05/02/2013 12:14

Pants filled with diarrhoea! I wasn't going to carry them around with me!

Startail · 05/02/2013 12:15

I would have hope the mum was keeping an eye on my DC not messing about with laundry.

havingastress · 05/02/2013 12:16

YANBU. I'd have been so grateful for you just clearing my child up. I would not have expected you to clean the clothes too!

What a lovely person you are! (some people I'm sure would have just rung the mother to come and collect shitty child!

MrsKoala · 05/02/2013 12:17

I'm going against the grain- I would have bunged them on a quick wash or at least rinsed and wrung them out. Not actually bothered by poo tho really, I'm always shocked at how bothered people seem to be on mn about bodily functions.

havingastress · 05/02/2013 12:17

rednellie - I've binned a couple of vests because of poo.

My justification - I paid £3.15 for a huge bundle of second hand vests on ebay. I'm not going to wrestle getting a pooey vest off a baby and getting the stains out with Vanish when the bin (and a pair of scissors!) is an option

Thumbwitch · 05/02/2013 12:20

YANBU - I can just about cope with the idea of cleaning up someone else's pooey child (I can only just cope with my own two!) but no way would I be dealing with their pooey clothes as well - into a carrier bag and handed to the mum with the explanation of why they're in there.

Actually, when I did have to clean someone else's pooey child up (pre having my own DC and when I was still pretty incapable) - I had no choice but to leave her in her shitty skirt, as she had "lost" her underwear (in the ballpit, it turned out) and I couldn't have her half naked walking across the road (it was at a party, we'd gone out to look at the ducks in the river across from where the party+ballpit was). Handed her back to her mum with explanation and suggestion that she'd probably find the knickers in the ballpit (small girl had said she took them off in there). Her mum threw away the skirt rather than deal with it; and I'm not 100% sure that she found the knickers...

VenusRising · 05/02/2013 12:21

In similar circs, I have thrown the shitty clothes out.

We don't have a tumble dryer, so washing them before pick up would be impossible, unless I was to give sodden clothes back - which the mum would wash anyway!

YANBU, and I think you deserve a washing down a bathroom and kindly hosing down a stinky child without making a fuss, is not really what you were expecting from a playdate.

Just tell the mum it happened just before pick up if she still thinks you're skanky - of course all that is projection, as it was her kid who made the mess!!

VenusRising · 05/02/2013 12:22

wise words JamNan - great tip!

rednellie · 05/02/2013 12:22

I guess because I've used reusable nappies for my 3 I'm used to washing poo out and not bothered by carrying pooey things around with me. It just seems so wasteful to me.

Sorry to derail thread! I think Ywnbu and did a great job. Ignore your mum!

phantomnamechanger · 05/02/2013 12:23

am I the only one PMSL at "tastefully presented in a Hotel Chocolat gift bag"

phantomnamechanger · 05/02/2013 12:25

I mean, they must have had other carrier bags, bin liners and such, but they chose that one - so still got a sense of humour despite poo incident!

Thumbwitch · 05/02/2013 12:27

rednellie - I use washable nappies for both DSs but have a flushable liner in them so I can just drop the worst of the poo straight down the loo in most cases. Apart from that though, I just bag the pooey nappy in a nappy bag and tie it up tight, as I guess you must do too?
I haven't thrown any clothes out from poo; but I would prefer to have them given back to me to deal with rather than have someone else do it - I have vays and meanz of getting most stains out but it doesn't always work so well if someone else has washed it first MIL yes I'm talking about you

AmberLeaf · 05/02/2013 12:29

YANBU

You cleaned up the child and gave him clean clothes to wear so he was comfortable, that is the main thing.

If it were my child, Id have said a big thank you then gone home and binned the shitty pants

Pants are cheap and life is to short to pick shit.

MrsReiver · 05/02/2013 12:32

My DS has an ongoing problem with encopresis and if he'd had an accident at someone else's house there's no way I would expect someone to clean up his poo.

I'm reluctant to send DS to his friends' houses to play as there's only a couple of Mums who know about his tummy probs so I'd be delighted you'd cleaned him up and put him in fresh clothes without making an issue out of it.

KellyElly · 05/02/2013 13:04

I would have rinsed them through but I don't think YABU for not doing it.

DewDr0p · 05/02/2013 13:12

YANBU. No no no.

Thankfully none of mine have ever done this at someone else's house but if they had I would have been mortified at the thought of the mum having to clean up all that poo and double mortified at the idea of her washing the dirty clothes. Yuck!

frustratedashell · 05/02/2013 13:15

Blimey! I would have done the same as you OP. Think the mum has a bit of a cheek tbh. And yes I used to bin poohy pants too. Theyre quite cheap and its a seriously horrible job to wash them etc. I once binned a pair of jelly shoes cos my DD, then aged 3, trod in a very squidgy dog poo. Luckily we were just getting back in the car to go home after a visit to a big park. Some bloody person let their dog poo in the car park! Shoes were removed gingerly and put in a carrier bag and then in a bin. yuck!!! Lol. Happy Days!

WileyRoadRunner · 05/02/2013 14:02

YANBU!

Original poster

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 05/02/2013 15:03

Just to be clear - the boy's mum thanked me for cleaning up her son and apologised that he'd done it on my watch.

It was MY mum that was horrified. She is a bit laundry obsessed though so I should have known that most normal people wouldn't expect it.

Relieved that AINBU :)

OP posts:

StinkyWicket · 05/02/2013 15:19

YA Definitely NBU!

My boys still have poo accidents fairly regularly, if I'm handed a bag of shitty clothing from school I bin it. I can't bear to wash out poo pants (I do sometimes, just not when it's particularly vile!).

I wouldn't do it for any other kids. Makes me heave just thinking about it.

TempusFuckit · 05/02/2013 15:24

phantom - no, I'm sniggering too

(YANBU OP)

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