to ttc if I think I will abort if the HG sets in again?

[ICBINEG]

So DH and I have conceived immediately on two occasions, one early miscarriage and one birth. I had hideous soul destroying sickness almost all of the way through pregnancy. We are beginning to start thinking about having another child, but I feel almost certain I couldn't go through another pregnancy like the last one. My understanding of HG is that it is unlikely to strike twice (although you are slightly more likely to get it if you had it before) and that each pregnancy may be fine or not.

So is it unreasonable to ttc if I think I might abort due to HG?

If we conceive and then I get horribly sick is it unreasonable to abort and try again?

Given we would only ever have one more child and seem to be able to conceive at will this might be more a case of choosing to bring to term the baby that doesn't make me horrendously sick for 9 months rather than wasting life etc.

I'm not sure I can really buy into that argument though....

(ps. if you are of the never abort under any circumstances camp then please don't bother posting...I know that opinion exists and am not in the slightest bit swayed by it. I am interested in hearing from other with grey zone opinions on abortion as to which side of their personal line this falls).

How on earth can you compare your situation to a woman of 40 plus and the risk of downs? There is a 1 in 200 chance of a downs baby over 40 ( and many women would chose not to abort that baby). You on the other hand probably have a 1 in 2 chance of having HG in another pregnancy. No comparison really. As I said before, if you really can't face it why not adopt?

Don't have another child OP. I don't say that often but I a saying it now.
I had severe sickness in ALL of my NINE pregnancies which resulted in 5 healthy births but 4 miscarriages. It's all very well to say you got pregnant easily once it doesn't mean it will be smooth from now on. You need to take a look at the child you have the imagine you had aborted because of the sickness he/she caused. For what it's worth i am not anti abortion but someone claiming they will just keep trying until the get what they want and fuck the healthy babies they destroy to get there that is disturbing and frankly you need help.

I noticed I quoted the stats for HG in subsequent pregnancies wrongly in my previous post.

It's 16 - 19%.

I think that's a very important stat in the decision making process.

(And apparently that's 29 times higher than in the general population/ average incidence)

But still it's only 16-19% - so a very good 80% chance that will not experience it again in next pregnancy

(Earlier I said that it was only 20% more likely than average pregnancy which is not right. So apologies for that - I misunderstood something AF had put in her excellent link to the research article)

So, in response to Monty's post just above "you probably have a 1 in 2 chance"

... well apparently not. Research quoted here says 20% (actually 16 - 19%) which would be a 1 in 5 chance. (or slightly less)

( A 1 in 6 chance works out as 16.66 % )

On the other hand if I felt I could conceive again almost immediately....well it is a case of choosing which of the many children I could have actually gets a chance.

dude...seriously?

I hope that was just badly worded because it's horrifying if that's really what you meant.

I am not religious.
I had HG in both pg.
We have also conceived two children "at will".
I think you're nuts.

Is HG a medical basis for abortion?
How many HG pg would you abort?
And your fertility has no guarantees!

Hiding this thread....the small glimmer of sympathy is gone now.

Absolutely shocked at OPs further statements.

Hiding this thread....the small glimmer of sympathy is gone now.

Absolutely shocked at OPs further statements.

I am saddened that a Doctor would keep saying its okay to keep terminating. Surely if he knows you were just going to conceive again it would be a problem for the Doctor to agree to a termination again? That would be difficult morally, surely.

op, i think you should talk to someonbe whose expert inhg, it maybe thay treatments may be better when they know your past experience etc, plus if you can find expert, prob treatment would be better in any case.

fwiw i can see why you're thinking as you are, it maybe that the fact you have an option-abortion-if things get too bad- may allow you to get thru the pregnancy.

i think there's an awful lot of hypocrisy in this thread, i think op is being v honest-clearly benefit of an anonymous forum.ihope you make whatever decision suits you and your family.

i think a lot of people posting have no idea of hg... like people who havent suffered from depression, telling someone depressed to cheer up and get over it

OMG I am gobsmacked at some of your further comments, OP.

I really think you need professional help, sorry. You want to try for a baby, not buy a pair of shoes. You don't keep chucking them away until you find the one that fits you!

My flabber has never been so ghasted!

This thread has made me feel so very sad.

YABU.

Please don't ttc OP. I really don't think you're in any frame of mind to be carrying or parenting another child tbh.

1131 I had hg on my first for 9months and was hospitalised for it I still think op is being vvvvu to consider a abortion for it. In my eyes if she should not be ttc at all and I also have bipolar so understand depression and have been very ill following all three births if you cant take the side effects of pg dont ttc.

I am honestly shocked by your attitude OP. I am pro choice but this goes far beyond that. I think what you are suggesting is morally reprehensible. I really hope you decide not to ttc again.

I would question your link from HG to PND. As I stated upthread, I had HG from 6 wks right to delivery on both my pregnancies. 8 weeks total in hospital with no 1. Friends were astounded at how fast I bounced back after the EMCS. However, my lovely obstetrician said it was entirely normal - he said in 40 years of practice, he'd never had an HG mother get PND and they were generally the happiest new mothers. He put it down to the fact that after such a horrid pregnancy, even the trickiest of newborns is easy by comparison and that strange post-natal hormones are still probably more "normal" than HG ones. It's a simplistic answer and I've certainly not done the research to check whether his experience of HG mothers matches the stats but I certainly don't think HG causes or makes you more likely to have PND. My friends who've had PND didn't have HG and I've had 2 HG pregs and no hint of PND. From the little you've said here, I'd wonder if you have PTSD rather than PND. Just because you'd recently given birth doesn't mean depression has to be PND, it can still be other depression. I think you should shelve the ttc question for now and see a counsellor.

OP, if you can only face another pregnancy knowing that you have a 'get out' if you need it, then by all means keep it in your head as a possible option. Your physical and mental health comes first no matter what.

And if you do find yourself with a pregnancy that you really can't carry to term for whatever reason, then yes, termination is an option.

And no, having a termination does not mean that you're not allowed to try again. It doesn't matter what the reasons for the termination are.

And no, you don't have to beat yourself up if you do need a termination - the expectation that any woman having a termination has to prostrate herself with grief and suffer years of mental trauma is inhumane. It's possible to view it simply as an unpleasant solution to a difficult situation. No more, no less. I can't imagine that many woman want a termination but more that it is something that they need or that they need to know is possible.

Should you conceive again, then I wish you the very best for a safe and healthy pregnancy.

Gosh, I'm slightly surprised at the strength of opinion against OP ttc in her circumstances.

I think I see the pragmatism and logical thinking in you OP where others are maybe more shocked by it.

I agree with a PP that maybe if you had just written about whether to TTC a next pregnancy it may have been more sympathetically read by others.

Perhaps you're just thinking a bit too far ahead for most of us, and logical thinking can seem a bit cold. Just take things one step at a time hey OP .... it will probably be easier for you that way as well.

But I think most people have not taken on board the stats I mentioned from the research quoted .... A 4 in 5 (80% +) chance that OP would not experience HG in next pregnancy.
(Actually best estimate is 81 - 84%)

Ok well my previous message was deleted, so here is the toned down version.I had hideous HG with all of my PGs requiring hospitalisation, although the first 3 were the worst.
Your attitude is shocking and deeply upsetting.Having a baby isn't like playing a fruit machine you know where ifyou don't get what you want you can bin it and have another go.

I read the start of the OP yesterday, and I see it is still running, but haven't read the rest of the thread.

I was just wondering if there is an alternative get-out of jail option? For example adoption or surrogacy? Normally these routes are even harder than pregnancy, but given the choices you are faced with, maybe they could work for you?

Good luck whatever you decide.

Being a parent is all about being able to put their needs in front of your own.I don't think you are cut out for it OP.

Yes, yabu and I am pro choice. Stick to the one lovely child you have.

ahhh thanks for the repeat on the stats juggling.

So I could reasonably expect an 80% chance of not even having to consider aborting.