to think that Chris Huhne's son was very wrong to call him 'autistic'

[Sallyingforth]

He is may be an unpleasant creature but that word should never be used as an insult.
order-order.com/2013/02/04/peter-huhnes-texts-to-lying-father/

Everyone has acknowledged that the boy posted in a distressed state. pretty much everyone fels sorry for him.

It is definitely wrong to use 'autistic' as an insult, just as it would be to use 'black' or 'queer' or any other such characteristic.

I was reading a children's story to my 5 and 3yo last night. It was written in the 50s, so I hope this wouldn't happen today. In the story a man goes blind BECAUSE he is mean-spirited and cruel. Nice. Especially since I am registered blind.

There is too much usage of disabilities to represent 'badness'. It is so ingrained that we don't even notice it until it is pointed out.

I am with Hectate and all the other posters who say it is NOT acceptable to use autistic as an insult - ever.

I first heard it being used like this by Will Self - writer - on Shooting Stars about the Queen. I was so angry/upset that he used the severe condition my ds has as a joke. This show is watched by young people and sure enough the insult has filtered through. This is a BBc programme and should not have been broadcast.

and sometimes not even then

However hrt te son might be he sounds like a complete and utter pillock, who shoud grow up. Age is not an excuse I or people I know at tat ag would ever have used such horrid insults.

It may very well be a wider discussion, however the thread title specifically talks about Chris Huhnes' son.

It is as wrong an insult as saying that someone is a "retard" "spastic" "mong" etc... awful, horrible insults based on fear and ignorance.

Hecate I've got two boys with Autism, and I identify with you absolutely! I also find it very hard that there are people who think that they can just self-diagnose. Autism is becoming the "bad back" of this generation and I hate it because it makes a mockery of the soul-destroying, heartbreaking reality of getting a diagnosis and then living and fearing for an uncertain future. (Anyway... I've gone off on a tangent)

If you just take the OP at face value, however - I think it is, in this instance a forgivable offence and I have no doubt whatsoever that the lad is ashamed and incredibly remorseful. He did not know that what he thought was a private conversation was going to be plastered all over the media and discussed on Mumsnet! I, personally did a lot of things that I'm not proud of when I was 18... and I'd hate for those to have been done in the public eye and judgement of everybody.

Come on, we all know that is it a very broad spectrum from high functioning aspergers to so autistic you never lead a normal life. I deal with computer programmers all the time who definitely are on that spectrum, not all but some and it is definitely the case Huhne's son may have found his father with whom he knows much more than we do somewhere on that spectrum. Many many adults are undiagnosed and yes of course he isn't severely affected but it is not wrong for a teenage boy to make that suggestion at all. More to the point what was his father doing playing away? Why did he think it would not hurt his family? Inability to understand the feelings of others is part of that spectrum.

The notion that he was categorising a potential series of behaviour which could indicate that his dad was onthe spectrum really is pretty laughable. He was angry and reaching for insults.
Totally understandable in his situation. Just sad and worth talking about that 'autistic' was the insult he reached for.
Had he texted 'selfish fucking twat' everyone would be in agreement.

are you suggesting that in the middle of a furious exchange where he was (rightly) livid with his dad and expressing hatred for him and everything he'd done, he decided to speculate that his dad might have autism in any sort of helpful way?

the disability rights lot?

ok then.

bloody unreasonable stupid unfeeling disability rights lot, eh?

Disability rights lot?

My friend told me that she had to teach her AS child that when her friends hugged her or gave her a compliment she needed to think of their feelings and either return the compliment or react in some way (at the time she just stood there). Is Chris Hunes son not saying that his father does what he wants to do without thought of other peoples feelings, in my understanding of the people I know with autism no comprehending how their actions impact upon other peoples feelings is a part of their character.

This man used his happy family life to further his career whilst he had a mistress, his family are obviously devastated.

I am quite shocked that the main upset you took from those texts is how insulting it is to you and your child - my reaction to it is how sad that this selfish man has lost the love of his family and the respect of his friends and peers.

I appreciate that having a disability is difficult but this was not about you

It was intended to be a private message,he was upset, what are you lot - the thought police? I fully agree these comments should not be made in any public forum, but I'd be pretty upset if anyone wanted to censor my thoughts or my private messages within my family.

Bluesunnysky, I know the text thing is not about me or my child and I know that that families pain is far greater than mine at the insult.

The constant justification from people that think they are informed is worse.

Your friends child is your friends child, you understand that autism is a spectrum?

The issue is that people are increasingly equating shitty/abusive behavior with autism.

'For the disability rights lot to be so very blinkered they go on about the language ... well is just sums them all up really.'

Please don't refer to people affected by disability in this off-hand way, this word does not have various meanings it has one meaning and it should not be used as an insult under any circumstances.

I dont think its no concern, its not understanding

Im quite shocked that you think its ok to pull his son on use of this word in these circumstances - there are lots of situations where discussion about the use of this word would be acceptable but piling further hurt on the hurt this boys father has already inflicted on him seems narcissistic in the extreme to me

The use of the word in that context should be pulled regardless of the circumstances.

Im staggered anyone would think any differently.

"Aaargh!

Autistic IS PRECISELY the wrong word to use for 'no concern for the feelings of others'."

It doesn't matter how many times you say that - it doesn't get through.

nor, apparently, does the fact that this is a wider issue and deserving of discussion as an issue. And WE'RE blinkered? People can read this whole thread and come to that conclusion and then call US blinkered? That's really funny.

We're just the 'disablity rights lot' (how sneery and dismissive is that?) banging on about pesky disabilities and the treatment of people and acceptable language and wanting people to think about what they say.

We should just shut up, really. It's perfectly ok to use disablist language as long as a)you didn't intend it to be public and b) you were ever so upset at the time.

So are we diagnosing narcissisim too now?