To wonder how on earth you cope with more than one child?

[BB2000]

Clearly IABU. But please talk some sense into me (kindly). I am very sleep deprived and loosing the plot somewhat.
I have a lovely 18month old DD. Lovely in every way, but was a really very, very, very clingy baby - not wanting to be put down at all (she had a difficult start poor thing being in SCBU). She is now actually a very easy toddler and sociable little girl, but is still a terrible sleeper.

We had been making quite a bit of progress on sleep using a mixture between the no cry sleep solution and pick up put down (I didn?t want to co-sleep and really didn?t want to do CC or CIO). But we?ve had a bad January with various illnesses and teething and after nights and nights of terrible sleep ?up 1-3 1/2 hours a night ? I?m struggling to see reason.
I would love to have a second child and had been planning to get on the case soon (due to biological clocks ticking and all that), but am very worried about the sleep. How on earth do people manage with a new born and a poor sleeping toddler (let alone people who have more than two DC)? I feel like the walking dead already and I only have one child! On the other hand to not have a second child just because of sleep when hopefully that will eventually right itself seems silly really and something I would undoubtedly regret later on.
Oh I should say I have a lovely DH who does his share when here, but is away a lot for work. There is no doubt that lack of sleep has put a strain on our relationship, though we still get on very well and he is a great dad.

So AIBU? And even more importantly, those of you with poor sleepers how do you manage with two (or more)?

Thank you for all your replies, thoughts and experiences. I really do appreciate it. (As for those of you who have 4+ DC you have my greatest respect ? I don?t know how you do it!!) DD has had a burst eardrum and nasty teething at the moment (poor baby) so I think that is what has brought it all to a head.

Good news is that my wonderful mum has just been on the phone and offered to babysit DD on Friday so DH and I can go away for the night. Bliss! A much needed chance to recuperate and get a bit of perspective on it all.

I couldn't cope with a second child so I'm not having one. I have no idea how anybody copes with two.

You cope, but I have to say that when one of my children is away I am blown away by how easy it is and winder to myself why I had another!

wonder

I have 4 and I find the more you have, the easier it gets as they look out for each other. I did space them out though.

Op I could have written your post- only difference is I am 18 weeks pregnant with number 2.

Dd is a terrible sleeper but she is now in a full size bed and I can sneak in and give her a cuddle if she needs it. We did co-sleep though as I bf. we were given a cot which we took the side off and fixed to our bed, it was a sanity saver.

I figure I am having no sleep now. I'd hate to get used to finally having a full nights sleep to it being interrupted again with a newborn!

(Clearly I am delusional and very sleep deprived and have lovely rose tinted glasses!).

YANBU. Sleep is one of the reasons we're not having another. I nearly killed myself when DS was about 9 months because I was in such a dark place with sleep deprivation. I can't do that again even though DH would like another (although I do also have a proper medical excuse as having another might leave me in a wheelchair). It's more important for DS to have a mother than a sibling.

There's roughly 2yrs between my two - and my eldest started getting night terrors from about 2yrs - which lasted until she was over 4yrs old. So for a couple of years, sleep wasn't great. Eldest would have terrible screaming episodes in the middle of the night It went in phases - sometimes it would be once a week, sometimes it would be several nights a week, then there'd be a few weeks of peace, but then it would come back again. The terrors could just be a single shout-out, to several horrific screaming episodes a night. How we never had the police or Social Services round I'll never know!

Luckily, our youngest was a wonderful sleeper, dropped off quickly and easily from day one, slept almost continuously apart from changes/feeds for the first two months, and even slept through eldest's night screaming (In the same room. Quite a feat.). It's true that one child can be completely different to the next - even today (they're now 3 and 5) - youngest goes out like a light, whilst eldest tosses and turns - though she has grown out of the night terrors.

The other tricky period as I recall was potty training eldest whilst youngest was still on the boob, so there were times at soft play etc, that I'd be in the middle of feeding youngest, when eldest suddenly needed to 'go' - which were a bit of a juggle and could be stressy. But that didn't last very long.

I'll be honest and say sometimes it was awful, and incredibly stressful and a strain on myself and DP's relationship. But because it wasn't at the same constant level all the time, it was 'OK'. Somehow we just got through because the next day could be fine etc. Also I think the second baby for a lot of people is much easier, because you've sort of been there before, and are just more relaxed. I found that my youngest just slotted in really easily.

I love having the two of them so much! They're brilliant companions for each other, and I actually found a 'secret' note by the eldest the other night, which said "I love my little sisder [sic]" that made me go "Awwwww..." The lack of sleep in the early days is more than made up for now. We can also have longer lie-ins again, because they have each other for company and entertainment. They just chat and play by themselves, while we get an extra hr or so in bed!

Low standards! Prioritising the things that keep you sane, doing those and let the rest go. I need downstairs tidy once a day, and hoovered. I couldn't care less about dust or windows. You will be fine. Although there's no law that says you have to have more than one.