Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to think fast relationships rarely work?

49 replies

DollOnAMusicBox1 · 02/02/2013 14:45

My younger sister is now 27 and has been single for years. I'm not sure why tbh, she's a very confident person and pretty, although she can be quite harsh with her words sometimes and doesn't seem to think about the repercussions.

Anyway she met a man 2 weeks ago and they are already in a relationship on facebook, talking about how they are so happy and so much in love and literally listing every single thing they do together - "right now he's giving me a foot massage" etc.

He even dedicated a song to both his mum and her in a facebook post saying how much this song describes how he is feeling and how he cannot remember a time he was this happy.

It's all very sweet and I'm very happy for her ... but it seems to be moving at an alarming rate and I'm worried that the honeymoon phase and lust is so intense from both parties now that it might fizzle out fast or it might suddenly become so boring.

I haven't met him yet and wouldn't give my opinion on their relationship anyway. I'm just worried that they are making a big mistake by moving too fast and it's my sister that will be the one who ends up getting hurt.

OP posts:

Locketjuice · 02/02/2013 14:49

Not in all cases, your sisters a big girl let her handle it how she wants

ChestyLeRoux · 02/02/2013 14:50

I met my dh moved in after a month and engaged after 2 months.We have been married ten years next year. Why wouldnt it work? When you meet the right person then you will know straight away.

HeadfirstForHalos · 02/02/2013 14:51

It sounds like they've just "clicked" to be honest. It does happen. I practically moved in with my now DH after seeing each other about a week! It's now 16 years, 4 dc and 12 years of marriage later :)

YANBU to worry about your sister getting hurt though.

WhatsTheBuzz · 02/02/2013 14:52

I hope you're wrong because I'm in what could have been described as a 'fast relationship'. 2.5 years so far..

Original poster

DollOnAMusicBox1 · 02/02/2013 14:52

I think it's his track history to be honest, he has been married before and it didn't last very long.

He was also engaged someone else too before he met my sister.

But I've never met him so.

OP posts:

5madthings · 02/02/2013 14:52

I met dp, moved in together quickly and was pregnant two months after moving in together, we care still together 15yrs later.

BrokenBananaTantrum · 02/02/2013 14:52

Well I DH asked me to marry him 1 week after I met him and I moved in with him a week after that. That was 15 years ago and we have no regrets. I was 25 when I met him and he was 36. It can work.

FlorriesDragons · 02/02/2013 14:53

Pregnant after five months here. Now married with a house and two children. It can work.

PickledInAPearTree · 02/02/2013 14:53

I know loads of people that have gone into it really fast & are still together.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 02/02/2013 14:55

Me and my oh got engaged after 5 weeks. Bought our first house 6 weeks after that.
Been together 17 years and have 3ds. So speedy relationships do work out

AMumInScotland · 02/02/2013 14:56

Another quick relationship here! Engaged after 6 weeks, married in 6 months, coming up on 22 years married now.

I think by 27 you can be fairly clear what you want out of relationships, and if you meet someone who is on the same page then it can fall into place straight away. That doesn't meant you'll never have a disagreement of course, and the relationship will need effort once the initial rush wears off. But there's no reason for it to be less successful than one that starts off slowly.

SeeYouSoon · 02/02/2013 14:57

Well we were 18 and 19 when we got together and spent 24 hrs a day together from the start. I knew very soon he was who I would marry. We have been together 20 years this year. Sometimes they work.

sydlexic · 02/02/2013 14:59

My DD met her BF and moved in with him within a week. I was not impressed. Ten years later and they are getting married.

AMumInScotland · 02/02/2013 15:00

The thing is, he may have grown up since his previous relationships, or the reasons they failed may not have been specifically him. But if he's a serial "in love then out of it" character, then yes she might get hurt. But even so, all you can do is to be tere for her if it happens. Warning people ahead of time that you think it's going to go badly is never a wise move - even if you are right, they won't thank you for it.

Original poster

DollOnAMusicBox1 · 02/02/2013 15:02

He got his divorce in July, broke up with the next girl he was engaged to in November.

Sorry should have put this in OP.

OP posts:

firstpost · 02/02/2013 15:07

Met DH in March moved in by May, now seven years later we have DS and new baby on the way. Sometimes when it's right, it's right :)

calandarbear · 02/02/2013 15:09

I broke up with fiance (of 3years) in december 2000 met DH jan 2001, engaged april 2001 moved in May 2001 married october 2001.

It really can be the real thing even if everyone thinks its rebound.

WellHello · 02/02/2013 15:10

Well after reading what youve just added there, I would probably be concerned too but youve got to just let them get on with it really, especially at their age.
If it all ends terribly you are her shoulder to cry on.

Madcaplady · 02/02/2013 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

barleysugar · 02/02/2013 15:14

It can work out. We've been married nearly 11 years after a whirlwind.

Some people do just click.

AMumInScotland · 02/02/2013 15:15

Not so hopeful then from your last post. All you can do is be there for her if it all goes wrong. Does she have a history of falling badly in love very fast?

Greensleeves · 02/02/2013 15:16

dh and I got engaged (unofficially, his mother would have freaked) and pooled finances after 3 weeks

we have been together 16 years now and still soppy

and I was (am) a very spiky and mistrustful person. Still am. He's an exception.

LST · 02/02/2013 15:17

Dp never left after the first date.. We are stronger than ever 3 years on

TeenyW123 · 02/02/2013 15:17

Dedicated a song to both your Ds AND his mum? I don't give it long!

Teeny

OutInAllWeathers · 02/02/2013 15:18

My fast relationship is still going strong, we've been married 10 years! Obviously they don't always work but nor do 'slow' relationships always work either. Sometimes you do just know. Generally it is not a good idea to generalise

Flip

1 2