Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give a 9 year old boy a stick insect as a present (in a jar, not free)

106 replies

pingu2209 · 02/02/2013 13:27

From my son as the boy's birthday present.

I really thought the boy would like it, but other mum's looked aghast!

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 02/02/2013 13:45

I don't agree with keeping insects in jars for people's amusement or entertainment. Sorry if that sounds judgey. I wouldn't have them in the house. DD asked for one once but I said no. Couldn't even bear the thought of one in the house. Ghastly!!!!

Pandemoniaa · 02/02/2013 13:45

I'm sure you meant well, OP but giving this child a living creature as a present is misguided. You wouldn't have turned up with a puppy or a kitten would you?

Whether or not the child liked the stick insect is irrelevant. My children would have liked to receive any number of totally irresponsible presents from their friends. That doesn't mean that the parents of their friends should have obliged.

NotADragonOfSoup · 02/02/2013 13:45

This is definitely the sort of gift where you need to check with the parents before giving it.

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird · 02/02/2013 13:45

YABU!

Don't be surprised if your Ds
receives a bouncy Labrador pup for his birthday.

Very cruel,poor sticky.

Booyhoo · 02/02/2013 13:45

i would have loved that at 9. i think my ds would like it now (7) and it would be a change from the usual tat. but yes, you should have checked with his parents.

LadyMargolotta · 02/02/2013 13:48

They need a proper tank with suitable vegetation - it sounds like you need to learn that as well. You can't just keep them in a jar.

It sounds like the boy's mother was extremely polite.

HazeltheMcWitch · 02/02/2013 13:50

YABVVVU. You should never give living things as presents, ever.

Cortana · 02/02/2013 13:52

Well now the Mother has to either buy a proper viv for the poor creature to live in or find a home for it and face upset with her DS.

YABVU. In an ideal world you would give her a call and offer to pay for the kit that is needed to keep that pet happy and healthy. Obviously not everyone has that kind of money but a simple viv can be as little as £30 for pets such as small insects.

Bluestocking · 02/02/2013 13:53

I am a pet person, but stick insects give me the heebs in a very serious way. I'd be horrified if someone gave DS one on his next birthday when he'll be nine. Definitely essential to check with parents first.

lljkk · 02/02/2013 13:53

Sheesh, some people love to be outraged.
I don't like bugs but I would have taken it in stride. Better than plastic tat, for sure.

AuntieStella · 02/02/2013 13:53

YABVU

It's a living creature, not a toy. Pets should never-rarely be given as gifts. The only exception being when it has been thoroughly discussed with the recipient household.

Would you be as delighted if your DC had been given a hamster, goldfish, puppy? I bet the DC would really, really like it - does that still sound sufficient?

spg1983 · 02/02/2013 13:54

Hmmm...I'm going to stick my neck out here (see what I did there?!) and make my first ever guess of a thread being a reverse AIBU...

Am I right? :)

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 02/02/2013 13:55

We had stick insects as children.

I hated the bloody things (don't like creepy crawlies )

DBro loved them though and really looked after them, took care of them and they prospered. I have no idea if they died of old age or what (I was so uninterested it was shocking Grin)

OP - you should have asked/discussed first.

OTOH, he has it now - you could speak to the mum and say you really hadn't thought it a bad idea, but realise she may think otherwise. Ask if she wants you to take it back or help the son care for it?

BeaWheesht · 02/02/2013 13:57

Do you own stick insects yourself OP? Tell me you don't keep them in a jar?

I'd be utterly pissed off if you gave my ds a stick insect

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 02/02/2013 13:57

FWIW - my mum bought DD a goldfish for her 2nd birthday. I hate fish (don't wish any harm on them but grrruuurhrhrhrh they freak me out) and I point blank refused to have it in the house. So the fish lived happily ever after in my mum's kitchen and nobody has ever tried to buy DD another fish Grin

AmazingBouncingFerret · 02/02/2013 14:00

Aww you can't keep it in a jar!

For one thing they breed like erm, rabbits. I remember when I had them. Hundreds of them in the end! And they got out. Much to my mother and sister's disgust, especially when you shut the curtains and they would drop down on you. Grin

apostropheuse · 02/02/2013 14:00

It was an incredibly stupid and thoughtless gift to give. Not everyone wants the responsibility of a pet.

However, now that you've given the pet I think you should buy the proper equipment necessary for its survivial. If the mum has already gone to the expense of buying the equipment you should reimburse her.

firawla · 02/02/2013 14:02

Omg you can't give a live insect in a jar as a present - did you wrap it?? I'm just imagining the senario of unwrapping and finding a live insect inside, getting a shock and dropping the jar on the floor then the stick insect running free!!!
Lucky the mum or child wasn't too squeamish about insects!

ENormaSnob · 02/02/2013 14:03

Yabvu

I would be very pissed off tbh.

CuriousMama · 02/02/2013 14:04

I'm very laid back but even I find it weird to do this without asking first?

LouMae · 02/02/2013 14:06

Ugh I absolutely hate stick insects, I'd have been horrified if DS had been given that. What a weird present.

Mrsrobertduvall · 02/02/2013 14:08

What an odd thing to do.
Reverse aibu.
No one can be that idiotic.

diddl · 02/02/2013 14:08

I can´t believe anyone would think that this is an OK thing to give.

OP-I also can´t believe that you think they live in jars!

TBH, I would have given it back!

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 02/02/2013 14:10

My memories of the stick insects (received as a present from school Shock) were that they lived in large jars.

Poor things.

insanityscratching · 02/02/2013 14:17

I would have given it straight back tbh because ultimately it should be a parent's choice whether or not they want a pet in the house. I can't cope with insects and I wouldn't have wanted to fork out for somewhere for it to live either.