DS just 18 - not had a serious girlfriend - didn't know he had one now. Just dropped him and in the car (I know, I know - he's 18 and has his own car but he's partying and he was late) he announced "I might bring a girl home tonight" I said really and where will she sleep and he said in his room. I said "I didn't know you had a girlfriend" and he said they had a bit of a thing going and I know he's had sex so what's the issue.
He took me by surprise and I said no because we don't know her, we don't know anything about her and it needs to be properly discussed with dad as well as with me. He was a bit meh said thank God he would be at uni soon but took it quite well and said thank you for the lift. I did say that if she came back with him that was fine but it was on the understanding that she slept in the guest room and he slept in his bedroom and didn't visit the guest room.
Oh bugger. What to do? He has a 14 year old sister and not sure I'm ready for this out of the blue. Fraaaaaaank are you there?
AIBU?
Teenage ds (18) "I might bring a girl home tonight"
marriedinwhite · 01/02/2013 20:28
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I don't think you are being unreasonable. I have always welcomed any friends round - but would draw the line at this. As others have said, this is my home and my sanctuary from the bloody world - so I don't want to have to be polite to random teenage girls (or boys) that I've never seen in my life before at the breakfast table. Neither do I want them to see me swanning around in my nightie, thanks very much. Plus I've got younger DCs and don't want them to think that 'strangers at the breakfast table' is fine and dandy.
On a personal note - when I was at uni, bf and I went to stay with his parents (for me to meet them) one weekend and they put us in the same double room....obviously we were having sex, but I was completely mortified and really uncomfortable under their roof and didn't dare turn over all night in case the bedsprings squeaked! In the morning his mother greeted me with the words, 'Did you have a good night?' (FFS!) and I was stunned to silence - unsure whether I was supposed to say, 'My God, yes! He's a stallion of a man, your son' - or whether to squeak out, 'Oh yes, asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow' 
.
(Chose the latter phrase for those who are interested...)
morethanpotatoprints I entirely agree with you. He has a 14 year old sister and I felt I needed to think about it all quite carefully. On balance and having had a chat with DH our view is that we will have a chat with him tomorrow and tell him that if it is a genuine relationship and if we can meet her and have some information about who she is, where she lives, what school she goes to etc., then it's fine. DH has also said it's on condition he tidies his bloody bedroom because if a girl sees the state of it she won't want to come back.
Don't think we are of the he lives here for free and it's not a hotel persuasion. Yes he does live here for free, because we want him to focus on school and getting to uni and we are also satisfied that he works very hard. We would also prefer to know what he's up to than him keeping it secret and doing it elsewhere. But it is all rather odd, we have only just retrieved the lego from the shed and put it in the next church sale box 
.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.