to think this is rude?

[wooliebearsrule]

this weekend i'm throwing a bit of a party/dinner, for a family members birthday. one of the people who is invited called me today to ask what i'm cooking.
i told them, chilli, jacket potatoes, veggie and chicken wraps, salad, nachos, i said i wasnt making it hot, as there are alot of children, and that i would cook some chicken without seasoning incase anyone isnt keen.
all this is being made and paid for by me, and is being made as the person whose birthday it is asked for it.
the one who called me asked what the children were having. i said this they were having the same as us.
she said that her and her kids wont eat it and she would bring sausages and buns for me too cook for them.
i think its pretty rude, im already making 2 difffernt meats, and veggie option. i have a tiny kitchen and am cooking for 25 people. i dont have room to do more, or time.
am i being unreasonable to say no?

Zukie. Would you not eat cheese or plain wraps or salad?

Zukie. Or plain chicken?

Rude and greedy.

Put up with them bringing their own cold food (say no to the sausages 'No room or time') and never have them again.

Sorry- I only just saw that you said she wouldn't eat your food either. Very very rude! And she wants you to cook a la cart for her family..

It's not that big a deal is it?

Bloody hell, the outrage on this thread is hilarious.

It's bloody rude. And spoiled. And childish.

I don't think it's rude to say that her and her dc would prefer something else, but it's rude to expect you to cook it.

Tell her you can't cook anything else but that they are welcome to bring packed lunches.

I don't get what the issue is, I'd just stick some sausages on to fry on the hob. Don't you want all your guests to feel welcome and fed?

My kids wouldn't eat your lovely sounding spread, they are philestines who would eat sausages and buns, but turn their noses up at plain chicken or jacket potatoes, nevermind chilli or wraps. Very frustrating!

OP, Please don't become tempted to cook anything extra for these people,

Being fussy is a privileged choice, just because someone has chosen to be fussy, doesn't entitle them to be so rude.

Just tell her to bring what ever her children eat, but cook it before hand as you will not have oven or hob space.

I would have offered to cook some sausages for her TBH.

I would have said no need to bring them.

If she brings enough for everyone and cooks it herself...very rude. Unless you have a severe allergy then why would you?? If you don't like the sound of the food, then have a late, large breakfast or lunch and eat a small, polite amount at the party.

Good manners cost nothing, as my mum would say!

The op has enough to do without cooking sausages as well!

Perhaps next time i somewhere i should announce that i will eat nothing but lobster and expect it made for me!

Myself, dp and dd are fussy eaters (the boys will eat anything that isn't nailed down, no idea how we spawned them!)

I would never in a million years make a fuss. I say thank you for the food and try not to be too obvious about leaving what I can't eat and we're teaching dd to do the same. We eat at home afterwards if we haven't had enough. I'd be mortified to offend a host who'd spent time and money preparing food for me.

Funnily enough because I'm not obnoxious about it people are much more likely to accommodate me. I was at a function lately which involved several tables being prepared by different people. I paid for a ticket on my friends table, knowing full well I didn't like what she was preparing but intending to just eat beforehand and not say anything. She arranged for me to have food from another table as she remembered my weirdass dislike of salads fussiness, I hadn't asked her to do so but was very grateful for her thoughtfulness

I also serve food that I can't stand if entertaining as I know not everyone wants to endure my dietary choices.

Why can't she feed her kids before the party, and if they are that fussy maybe it would be a good thing for them to try something new, in my experience when kids go to friends houses they are more likely to try new things. My Ds hated sausages, but on returning from a sleepover wanted a sausage sandwich, every day for a week I had to make them.

It's never occurred to me to ask what someone is cooking. When visiting other people my dc have always been brought up to acccept what's given or go without. However they aren't fussy eaters.

Mirry2 wrote
"It's never occurred to me to ask what someone is cooking. When visiting other people my dc have always been brought up to acccept what's given or go without. However they aren't fussy eaters."
I think these two things are connected.
I think the whole emphasis of this thread is wrong.
Firstly it's rude to ring and ask what's on offer.
Secondly, if your kids are picky eaters then that is your problem and you should deal with it.
Thirdly, if your children really will not try anything that's on offer then they can go without for a while. It will not kill them and it might encourage them to try something new.

It's fucking rude. I would never ask 'what we were having'. And it's a lunch ffs, not the last supper before a month long fast or something. So worst case scenario is her and her DC have no lunch, big deal - drama queen for making out like they are going to die from malnutrition and famine if they don't eat lunch. Rude, fussy, annoying.
A grown adult can easily skip a meal and if she is really worried about dc she can bring something pre prepared in a lunch box for them.

Well you are providing a lot of food and very good variety, so think you have done enough. My kids would love your spread. I think it would be a great lesson for her kids - good for them to taste something new/different rather then chicken mc nuggets and fish fingers. Surely the kids need to learn to fit in sometimes - the world doesn't just revolve round them.

Being fussy is a privileged choice, just because someone has chosen to be fussy, doesn't entitle them to be so rude.

totally agree with this

It's supposed to be a fun family celebration, yet there are posters on MN that would prefer loved family members to be hungry rather than let them bring a few sausages?

Weird

What ConferencePear said

How did it go op?