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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is rude?

78 replies

wooliebearsrule · 31/01/2013 16:27

this weekend i'm throwing a bit of a party/dinner, for a family members birthday. one of the people who is invited called me today to ask what i'm cooking.
i told them, chilli, jacket potatoes, veggie and chicken wraps, salad, nachos, i said i wasnt making it hot, as there are alot of children, and that i would cook some chicken without seasoning incase anyone isnt keen.
all this is being made and paid for by me, and is being made as the person whose birthday it is asked for it.
the one who called me asked what the children were having. i said this they were having the same as us.
she said that her and her kids wont eat it and she would bring sausages and buns for me too cook for them.
i think its pretty rude, im already making 2 difffernt meats, and veggie option. i have a tiny kitchen and am cooking for 25 people. i dont have room to do more, or time.
am i being unreasonable to say no?

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 31/01/2013 16:45

BTW - I can't be doing with people who either are fussy eaters themselves or have DCs who are fussy eaters who make this other people's problems. Either bring your own food or don't go.

wewereherefirst · 31/01/2013 16:47

YANBU. If she doesn't like it she can bring her own or they can eat beforehand! It would be different if it was about allergies but fussiness, then no.

KellyElly · 31/01/2013 16:47

Fair enough OP. Just say that to her and ask if she can either feed her kids before she comes or bring something cold for them to eat.

SPBInDisguise · 31/01/2013 16:47

I love the fact these posts are next to each other

Dfg15

Tell her to stick her food where the sun doesn't shine. If her kids don't like what you're cooking tell her not to come. The flippin cheek of some people.

Top ↑ Reply ↓ Report

Thu 31-Jan -13 16:32:09 Lavenderhoney

Ask her to bring them cooked and she can warm them up in the microwave and put them in buns herself. Just say it would be great if she did that and what a good helper she is

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 31/01/2013 16:48

So they won't eat wraps with cheese or plain chicken or potato or salad? Wow!

Mine are fussy eaters but if i made chilli one will just eat cheese in a wrap and I've usually got vegetable sticks, peppers etc. That's perfectly fine.

Just tell them that they can have those things if they don't like spicy food as you just don't have the room to cook anything else. I would suggest they brought a sandwich but how is that really any different to cheese in a wrap anyway? Plus i can just imagine them sitting there with their sad little sandwiches with faces like smacked arses!

wewereherefirst · 31/01/2013 16:48

And what Iseesmallpeople said!

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 31/01/2013 16:50

I'd have fed before and not said anything to you.
Bit rude expecting you to cook her food

littlewhitebag · 31/01/2013 16:52

My DD2 was a very fussy eater when younger so i would bring along an emergency ham sandwich when we went places so i could give her something if nothing she liked was on offer. I would expect adults to eat what was there though - that is very rude. If she doesn't like chilli then maybe she could provide some grated cheese (also lovely on top of chilli) as an alternative for the jacket potatoes?

ChaChaDigregorio · 31/01/2013 16:52

Is it really that much of an issue? I mean on a scale of 1 to 10?

Often surprises me the level of outrage that can be garnered on here...

perceptionreality · 31/01/2013 16:52

YANBU - that is so rude. Tell them no - what a total cheek. The food you are doing sounds lovely. Unless there is a very good reason why her kids will only eat sausages then I can't imagine why she would dream of asking you.

Dfg15 · 31/01/2013 16:53

Sorry SPBInDisguise - not sure what the 'Top ↑ Reply ↉ report' means - have you reported my post? if so why?

MrsMushroom · 31/01/2013 16:53

Rude. Her DC are so precious they can't survive on bread and bits and bobs for ONE llunch? Major pita. I would tell her to bring them already cooked and they can have them cold or you'll heat them up

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 31/01/2013 16:55

i can imagine her turning up and either, having exaclty enough for them, and none for the other kids who will see the sausages and think..'ohh, i want one of those'' OR she will make a MASSIVE issue of the effort she has gone to.

That's what i was wondering actually. If she turns up with other food its going to cause issues with other people or kids who might want what she's got.

Perhaps ask her to bring a sandwich platter with a few extra sandwiches for the other kids? Although that's a bit annoying because if the sandwiches weren't there the other kids would probably eat what you've made.

Floggingmolly · 31/01/2013 16:55

She will make a MASSIVE issue of the effort she has gone to. Shock
She's a guest, right? And the party is actually for someone else?
I would seriously tell her to stay home. Some people just don't get that it's not all about them.

fuckadoodlepoopoo · 31/01/2013 16:56

Dfg. Its just where they have cut and pasted the messages.

SPBInDisguise · 31/01/2013 16:59

No defineitly not dfg. I just found it highly amusing tht a post saying "let her help and tell her what a wonderful helper she is" was followed by "tell her to shove her sausages up her arse!"

:o easily amused

Original poster
wooliebearsrule · 31/01/2013 16:59

flogging the party is for our uncle, he wants this as his {milestone} birthday meal with his family.

OP posts:
Dfg15 · 31/01/2013 17:01

Oh SPB - sorry, having really bad day in work and feeling a bit sensitive.

myBOYSareBONKERS · 31/01/2013 17:04

So what are you going to do?

Original poster
wooliebearsrule · 31/01/2013 17:05

tell her to eat before or after, im not messing about with extra cooking, pan cleaning etc.

OP posts:
glenthebattleostrich · 31/01/2013 17:05

I'm a fussy eater (DD will eat anything that stays still long enough) and I wouldn't dream of being this rude.

If she wants her kids to have something different she can cook and bring it with her, making sure there is enough to share.

SPBInDisguise · 31/01/2013 17:05

Oh dear :( hope your day improves

ScampiFriesRuleOK · 31/01/2013 17:08

So rude! Shock And a bit fucking mental.

I'd tell them not to bother coming tbh.

YANBU. She is BVU.

Startail · 31/01/2013 17:08

Even fussy pot DD2 will eat baked spud.

HoneyStepMummy · 31/01/2013 17:09

Can't she do what everyone else does and just feed the kids before they leave? I could understand if you were cooking something exotic or spicy or even serving something like sushi, but you are providing plenty of kid friendly food.
Tell her that her kids should eat before leaving and that unfortunately you already have your hands full and cannot start cooking additional items. If she wishes to bring sausages in buns she is welcome to do so, provided she brings enough for all the kids, and that they're already cooked and ready to be served.
You sound lovely and like you've put a lot of work and effort into this. Her poor manners and kid's picky taste aren't your problem. Hope the party goes well! :)