To not understand how you can ignore a baby?

[JohnBender88]

Much less your own grandchild!

PIL were round last night and whilst FIL took an active interest in my 2 month old baby, talking and playing with her, MIL sat in the corner and barely looked at her.

She never phones us and when my boyfriend phones she never asks how we're getting on, just goes on and on about herself.

Could it be jealousy that I had the daughter she always wanted?

Sounds odd, but my MiL was a proper strange person. I always got the impression that she thought she should have had a baby with her own son. She was so of me.
Difficult to get an idea given the paucity of information you've supplied.

And how do you know she wanted a daughter?

babies are a bit boring if they're not yours.

she might be more intrested when she's older.

It's a shame for you but not everyone likes babies.. I'm not a baby person and I have two dc! :)

I hope so.

She's said herself she would have liked a girl so I thought that she'd be happy that we were having a girl but she looked gutted when we told her.

She's always been really good with babies of all ages so I assumed she'd dote on her only grandchild.

She's a strange one, we all went on holiday a couple of years ago and she went in a sulk whenever my boyfriend and I wanted time to ourselves, going as far as following us wherever we went and tutting when we chose a room at the other end of the floor!

Hopefully you're basing your assumption on the fact that she's actually told you she always wanted a daughter, and not just assuming that all mothers of sons are desperately jealous of your child's genitals.

X-post.

Perhaps, rather than being jealous of you having a girl, she's a little bit overwhelmed and feels she doesn't know 'what to do' with a girl, if she's been used to boys?

Some people just don't like babies. I'm one of them. If I could wave a magic wand and skip the first 18 months entirely, I'd do so in a heartbeat.

Don't get me wrong, you sound very young and a bit dramatic.
I don't know if YABU or not. I am tired.

hazleweatherfieldgirldetective Yes she's told me before she would have loved to have had a daughter.

I have two DDs, but I'm not a baby person - I never know what to "do" with them.

I loved my own, of course, but it wasn't until they became older and started to interact with people that I got really interested in them.

X-post

But what can you do differently at this age with girls that you can't do with boys and vice versa? I'm a FTM so obviously I'm a bit naïve with the differences between the two genders at this age.

I am quite young, 24, but to be honest it's more the effect this will have on my boyfriends relationship with her as he seemed pretty down about it but as I'm sure you'll understand I don't want to be negative about her to him.

How can I make her feel/want to be more involved?

There isn't a difference. But some people perceive there to be one. I've heard it said when a mum of two girls finds out she is pregnant with a boy 'But I've only had girls/sisters/female cousins... I don't know what to do with a boy!'.

Just keep offering her cuddles. She probably just isn't that interested in babies. It does happen, and doesn't mean she doesn't love your DD to the ends of the earth.

Sorry, ignore me, I am tired an I have boil on my bum and I'm hot and the twatting twats along the corridor seem to be trying to knock something down.

She's probably worries about putting a foot wrong, or being accused of 'taking over' .As far as MN is concerned a MILs place is in the wrong!!
Or else she might not be a bay person.
Your baby is the centre of your little world obviously, but to other people will be pretty boring.

does sound strange,hmm dont know,just wait and see?she might come round but tbh i wouldnt let it bother me.

and i dont know how people can say babies are boring!i love them.the smell,the little elastic band wrists,the funny jump they do when they hear a loud noise.awww.

my mil is the same. Always wanted granddaughters. Told me I was so so lucky to have girls etc. And yes, it's true her 4 sons rarely have anything to do with get. But that's because she's a twat, not because they have penises.

Don't worry ripsishere I know what tiredness does, I don't know how I'd cope with a boil on my arse and being screamed at most of the day because of bad baby wind pains! Tiredness is a cunt.

socharlotte That could be part of it but this is the woman who told us we need to feed and wind the baby. I think I'll just sit tight and see if it improves as the baby gets older.

my mil is the same. Always wanted granddaughters. Told me I was so so lucky to have girls etc. And yes, it's true her 4 sons rarely have anything to do with get. But that's because she's a twat, not because they have penises.

She would have liked a DD 20 years ago :) That is not the same as wanting a baby girl to connect with now.

Someone upthread summed it up - not every one finds babies fun. I'm nowhere near being a GP but wheniever I visit people I do the obligatory ' she is sooo cute' and then go to find an adult to chat to.

Would I be different if it was my GC? Probably. But my point is that there doesn't have to be any deep reason for her indifference.

Babies are pretty dull.

Probably a mixture of not wanting to be overbearing and not being that keen on babies I'd say.

I find babies a bit dull but have trained myself to coo sufficiently before ignoring :)

She sounds very odd.

Some people just aren't into babies,

They don't do an awful lot for me to be honest! I can pretend with the best of em though.

My MIL told me she wasn't really into babies when they were really small, but as soon as they started interacting she would bounce them on her knee and sing to them.