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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep him off school?

66 replies

Feminine · 27/01/2013 12:32

DS is 14, he has terrible eyesight,can't see much at all without his glasses.

They have now broken and can't be returned/fixed till Wednesday.

In April he will be getting contacts, so problem resolved...this particular situation probably won't happen again.

I've spoken to his school, and as his attendance is not bad, they seem alright with it.

I'm not sure though, I don't wear glasses and have no idea how much they make a difference. The prescription (as I said) is strong. The glass (in the frames) takes his eyes from large to tiny.

Over the W/end he has been squinting and trying to focus , even on me.

Apparently he needs to copy work from the board , he claims he won't be able to see that -that I understand. I suppose it appears he will be finding it hard all day, if his own home is a challenge. The 'spare' glasses are useless, as his prescription got a lot stronger last March.

Is it Ok? it doesn't sit right with me...but I don't need glasses.

Thanks all. :)

OP posts:

Enfyshedd · 27/01/2013 20:47

DP has a -6 prescription and says he can't focus more than 6 inches in front of his nose and everything's a fuzzy mess by 2ft. If your DS's eyes are like that, he'd be a danger to himself and others (does he have to navigate stairs in school?) It's not as if he can spend the days off playing computer games, is it?

I'm sure the school will be understanding as a one off, but make sure you get a spare set just in case.

wibblyjelly · 27/01/2013 21:16

I'd keep him off. I have very bad eye sight, to the point that when I was younger, the optician apparently told my mum that if I didn't have access to glasses/contact lenses, I'd have to be registered as blind.
There is no way I could get to school, let alone try and read the work given to me. I'd end up falling over, and getting a headache from the strain on my eyes.

ElectricMonk · 27/01/2013 21:19

I wouldn't consider sending him - missing 2 days of encumbered learning is far less serious a prospect than getting hit by a car or falling down some stairs. If I were in his position, I wouldn't even be able to go in with my old glasses without getting a dreadful headache within a couple of hours (I know because I tried recently). If you're worried about his work, he could do something which involves listening more than looking - could you download him an audiobook or video that's relevant to his studies, perhaps? For instance, he could listen to one of the books he's studying/will be studying for English Lit or Drama if he takes it. Alternatively, there are good documentaries on the various Biology and Geography topics online - youtube is a good place to start.

I know that some people see more clearly than others of the same prescription (mine is very low and should mean that glasses are optional, but I can't recognise my husband from 4 feet away or watch TV without them) so it's unlikely that anybody will be able to judge how badly your son is affected based solely on the numbers. You can only judge through observation, and from what you've said it sounds like he's really struggling.

GsyPotatoPieEyed · 27/01/2013 21:29

YANBU, it sounds very sensible to me. I wouldn't be able to work without my glasses/contacts as i can't see past the end of my nose without them. Not to mention getting a massive headache and bad eye strain.

Are you near a library? Get him some audio books/language CDs to keep him busy.

Wolfiefan · 27/01/2013 21:32

Can he not work in school in a separate room?

Wolfiefan · 27/01/2013 21:34

Posted too soon!
What do SN dept say? They may have large print, audio texts for visually impaired students.
If eyesight is as bad as mine though, I wouldn't be leaving the house.

GsyPotatoPieEyed · 27/01/2013 21:37

But if it was me wolfe I'd have a real problem moving around as wouldn't be able to cross the road safely, read a bus number, i'd misjudge stairs etc. Unless The school can provide someone to guide him around all day it wouldn't be safe IYSWIM.

TheFallenMadonna · 27/01/2013 21:38

DH wouldn't be able to do any work without his specs. Really. He can't walk around the house without them in fact. My eyes are much better than his, but I wouldn't be able to write, I don't think. I could read though.

GsyPotatoPieEyed · 27/01/2013 21:38

X posts wolfie

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 27/01/2013 21:50

Keep him off. I am -6 and feel awful without my glasses. I have nightmares about not having them: actual nightmares not just a fear that i may lose them.

YANBU to keep him off til his glasses are sorted. Not at all! Besides not being able to see the board, there is the matter of his safety to consider.

Original poster

Feminine · 27/01/2013 21:50

Thanks so much for the latest perspectives/opinions. I'm going to keep him off and get him occupied with something educational. I'll phone the school and get his tutor to see if he can get the missed work.

I just hope he gets on with contact lenses.

OP posts:

Original poster

Feminine · 27/01/2013 21:53

To see my face he needs to stand about 4 inches from my face. Before that distance I am a blur apparently.

He needs to squint to see anything at all. I think he is safer at home.

OP posts:

missmapp · 27/01/2013 21:56

I am minus ten and couldn't function without my glasses.as well as not being able to see anything, my hearing goes, it is like I am underwater! Don't send him in, I probably wouldn't even be able to find the school.

poppypebble · 27/01/2013 22:26

I also would not be at work without my glasses. I just wouldn't be able to get there safely. I make out blurry shapes and that's it. In fact I broke my wrist once stumbling on the landing because the cat had knocked my glasses off the bedside table and I was desperate for the loo.

When I first got glasses I was 12. It was a revelation to me that when watching TV you could actually see people's faces on the screen. Before that I'd thought it normal that they were blurred! My mum took me to the optician when I ended up in the next town because I caught the wrong bus home - I couldn't see the numbers.

neolara · 27/01/2013 22:37

I'm -5.5 and when I had to leave my glasses in the optician for 30 mins to for them to be fixed I was virtually crying at how disorientated I was walking around the shopping center. And I'm not at all wimpy normally. It was horrible, horrible, horrible. I felt very vulnerable. I literally wouldn't walk around my house without my glasses or contacts. I can't see more than 6 inches in front of my face. In a school setting I wouldn't be able to see the board, see a computer screen, see my books unless I was almost lying on the table, walk safely around school, take part in any practical activities (e.g. sport, cooking, chemistry, choosing lunch). It would be utterly miserable. However, it sound like your ds has the choice of wearing his old glasses, which while aren't great, would allow him some functionality. In which case, I might send him in with those and a note to explain the issue to his teachers.

Original poster

Feminine · 27/01/2013 22:42

No, neolara no old glasses unfortunately. I've/we've mislaid them , plus they are much weaker due to being 2 years past prescribed.

Thanks for your perspective, you describe it just like DS.

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