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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep him off school?

66 replies

Feminine · 27/01/2013 12:32

DS is 14, he has terrible eyesight,can't see much at all without his glasses.

They have now broken and can't be returned/fixed till Wednesday.

In April he will be getting contacts, so problem resolved...this particular situation probably won't happen again.

I've spoken to his school, and as his attendance is not bad, they seem alright with it.

I'm not sure though, I don't wear glasses and have no idea how much they make a difference. The prescription (as I said) is strong. The glass (in the frames) takes his eyes from large to tiny.

Over the W/end he has been squinting and trying to focus , even on me.

Apparently he needs to copy work from the board , he claims he won't be able to see that -that I understand. I suppose it appears he will be finding it hard all day, if his own home is a challenge. The 'spare' glasses are useless, as his prescription got a lot stronger last March.

Is it Ok? it doesn't sit right with me...but I don't need glasses.

Thanks all. :)

OP posts:

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 27/01/2013 13:10

I wouldnt be able to go out without my glasses at all. I think it really depends on what prescription he is (I am -12) Without them I wouldnt be able to walk down a street safely let alone do school work and move about a large crowded school.
I literally cant read something unless it it up against my nose! and doing that for any length of time would give me terrible headaches. I think if I HAD to go out without them I would need someone to walk around with me.

Only you know how much he needs them.

Picturesinthefirelight · 27/01/2013 13:11

I have pretty good eyesight in the scheme of things but if I had to go for more than a day or do without my glasses doing a lot of reading etc I would end up with a blinding headache.

5dcsinneedofacleaner · 27/01/2013 13:13

Only you know how much he needs them.

FunnyBird · 27/01/2013 13:15

I have only one dodgy eye. I can see quite well without glasses inside the house. But if I step out the front door I am immediately aware of the danger. I can't form 3d images without my specs, and I've no idea how fast the traffic is coming at me. And it is tiring to make the effort all day.

FunnyBird · 27/01/2013 13:16

So, I guess I'm saying I'd be worried about sending him out.

BlueSkySunnyDay · 27/01/2013 13:20

I suspect the people saing "send him" dont have very bad eyesight.

My eyesight went quite rapidly in my teens, as I didnt want glasses I managed to copy friends work, muddle by and bunked off whenever I knew we were due an eye test. I suffered from horrendous headaches!

Eventually they send a tester back the next day and I got caught, they sent someone to my parents house to say "we are quite suprised she has not got herself run over"

Keep him at home until his glasses are ready, I would ask the school if they can send some work - this will only work if he can enlarge the font on a computer.

Apart from the whole board headache aspect if he is anything like me, and it sound like he is, then his perspective with corrected vision is very different to how it is without glasses/contacts. When I intially had glasses I was shocked by how far from me the floor was and still if I drive in glasses rather than contact I often scare myself by thinking I have nearly clipped other cars. Currently I am a -7, at the time nowhere near bad but is was debilitating.

Of course it does depend on his prescription but I would be worried about his safety with traffic and stairs (furniture and even doors)

BlueSkySunnyDay · 27/01/2013 13:23

"It's unusual for eyesight to deteriorate quite that rapidly" I dont know Foggles, mine went very quickly at about the same age.

Corygal · 27/01/2013 13:24

Make sure he has a spare pair of working glasses - easy, free, NHS - and let him have the time off. Tell the school it won't happen again.

If his eyesight is that bad, why wouldn't you have backup? I'm minus 3 and I have a pair in every room, seriously - I'm not safe otherwise.

BlueSkySunnyDay · 27/01/2013 13:28

Once he has the contacts in April it will be worth keeping his glasses reasonably up to date as there will be days where for one reason or another he still needs them.

I am aware I am being a bit hypocritical say this as the frame of my glasses is so old that although the lenses are fine I wouldnt want to be seen in public in them One of the many things on my to do list

Foggles · 27/01/2013 13:30

BlueSky - I also managed to avoid wearing glasses from being prescribed them as a teenager to my mid twenties when I was sent for an eye test through work.

The tester said exactly the same to me "how did you manage to get here without being run over?"

DizzyHoneyBee · 27/01/2013 13:34

School will deal with it. In the meantime, get him to an opticians that offer a free spare pair.

BlueSkySunnyDay · 27/01/2013 13:36

How scarey Foggles, I wonder how many people are wandering about like that.

I cant believe it was so important not to wear glasses, I grew to quite like them, but at the time i'd spend the day crying if my fringe was the wong length and I already had a brace so I felt life was being very unfair

BlueSkySunnyDay · 27/01/2013 13:37

My typing is apalling today!

Foggles · 27/01/2013 13:39

There are a lot nicer, trendier frames now than there were when I was a teenager - which was in the '70s. My first pair were like Deirdre Barlow's

McNewPants2013 · 27/01/2013 13:46

Yanbu he will be putting himself in danger.

Soopermum1 · 27/01/2013 13:46

I have terrible eyesight. to put it into context, even with glasses, I am borderline as to whether I would pass the eyesight test to be able to drive.

however, over the years I've worked around it. in presentations, I print the slides off, I explain to people if need be for certain adjustments. I learn pretty well by listening and writing my own notes.

I think you should send your D's to school as long as he can make it safely there. this will not be the last time in his life when he'll be in this situation. as an adult he'll not be able to take time off work if he doesn't get on with the contact lenses and he doesn't have specs available in the right prescription.

it will be a good learning experience for him

BlueSkySunnyDay · 27/01/2013 13:59

Ohh Foggles you needed glasses at the same time as me - the NHS choice pale pink or pale blue plastic (yuk)

My sons glasses are wonderful

Soopermum - I get what you are saying but you are not in busy corriors full of teenagers pushing and shoving, in fact if they realise he cant see they are just as likely to stitch him up (they can be cruel little beasts at that age). OK if it were a long term problem he would have to learn how to deal with it but for the sake of 3 days, when he could probably work at home, it seems unnecessary.

KindleMum · 27/01/2013 14:23

I've had very bad short sight since I was about 9. I certainly had major changes in prescription between check-ups in my teens, in fact my sight stabilised once I switched to contact lenses. Unless his prescription is mild - between 0 and -2, I really doubt he could cope at school. At -5, he'd be dangerous to himself and I really wouldn't want a child of mine crossing roads etc without glasses. He will also get appalling headaches. I also find it difficult to judge perspective when I don't have the right glasses - the floor tilts and I'm capable of falling downstairs.

Hanging onto his last pair as a spare is a good plan, even though it hasn't worked out for you this time. Also keep an eye out for 2 for 1 deals when you renew his prescription. My main glasses are expensive but I get a basic pair free each time - not ones I'd be comfortable wearing daily but great for an emergency such as this.

I wouldn't send him to school and I would get a really cheap spare pair for future probs. Imagine if this happens in the middle of major exams...

5madthings · 27/01/2013 14:26

I may be inclined to keep him off tbh as if he tries to do reading/writing etc he will strain his eyes further and end up with a headache etc. Plus he may well end up tripping over etc.

poppypebble · 27/01/2013 14:38

Do not send him. I'm a teacher with terrible eyesight and I can tell you now it would be torture. I find I can't even hear as well without my glasses, because we all lipread to a certain extent. I feel lost and befuddled and would not be able to read a worksheet even at a large font. I'm -9.5 with astigmatism and -10 in the other eye and I can't even manage to get to the loo and back without my specs. A day in crowded corridors would be awful.

Original poster

Feminine · 27/01/2013 16:54

Thanks all of you for your very helpful contributions. Today he went to put something down and almost broke it , as he couldn't judge where there table was. I have been remiss in not having a spare, in all the years he has had them,he has never presented me with broken ones -I was silly to think they wouldn't get damaged.

Plus, to add to this, poppy has reminded me of this , he recently had a very bad burst eardrum. The doctor said his hearing would be impaired till it healed.

I'll def get a spare.

OP posts:

cory · 27/01/2013 16:59

Does the school have a special room for quiet working? Dd is not always able to work in the clasroom for SN related reasons, but will go in if at all able and work in the exclusion room, where the atmosphere is quieter and there is a dedicated teacher/helper.

bluer · 27/01/2013 17:52

Don't send him! He'll not miss a lot in a few days and he can always ensure he gets the notes and catches up. I couldn't leave the house without glasses...out simply wouldn't be safe plus straining is bad and causes headaches. It would be so disorientating and scary...without glasses I simply cannot distinguish objects or faces.

Original poster

Feminine · 27/01/2013 18:19

Oh Thanks bleur I feel better now. :)

He is suffering today, and making odd mistakes around the house.

I'll show DH (used to wear glasses and thinks he should go )

cory, I'm not sure.:)

OP posts:

SquinkiesRule · 27/01/2013 19:39

I wouldn't send him. My eyes aren't as bad as many here, but three days without my glasses and I'd be in bed with a migraine. I can make it about the house OK, but would be a danger in public. I'd probably fall down the stairs, or break an ankle stepping off the curb.

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