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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I being unreasonable? Nappy Changing

47 replies

canyou · 27/01/2013 12:31

My DB called for a play date with the his DC and mine, His dd 1 yo needed a new nappy very smelly he picked up changing bag and went into my 'good' room the tidy toy free visitor room I stopped him and asked him to go to the bathroom where I have a baby changing unit and a nappy bin and all my DC have their nappies changed, everyone got odd,
I never change my DC anywhere but a bathroom when visiting esp once they were at the wriggling over 6 mo stage and I never put a nappy on the fire or into my solid fuel stove so it can fall against the glass door and melt .
My Mum DB and DSis all think he should have been allowed into the sitting room to change her.
Reason I have a 'good' clean toy free child free room is we had a sudden death in the family recently and still have people calling to sympathise so this way I have some where to go with them and not worry about them sitting on dinky cars or baby dolls or tripping on lego.
So WIBU?

OP posts:

Geordieminx · 27/01/2013 12:33

Your house your rules YANBU

amistillsexy · 27/01/2013 12:33

YANBU. Your house, your rules!

JustAHolyFool · 27/01/2013 12:33

I don't think you were at all. I mean, it's not like it made a difference to the baby where it was changed. Like you say, you have all the stuff you need in there to do the job.

Sounds like a storm in a teacup though if everyone is getting involved and having an opinion.

amistillsexy · 27/01/2013 12:33

at cross post!

Original poster

canyou · 27/01/2013 12:34

I maybe responsible as I do allow newborns and smallies be changed on laps/ where they are but tbh all my friends seem to prefer the bathroom where every thing is to hand

OP posts:

eggsy11 · 27/01/2013 12:34

When I first had DS I only changed him in a changing room/bathroom and was super clean. Then after a while you get used to it and i'll do it anywhere! It's still gross and poo, but you deal with it so much that you don't think how gross it must be for others!

Not at all unreasonable to ask him to go in the bathroom! Just don't make a big deal about it, because for people with babies/toddlers who do about 6 nappies a day you forget how yuk it is. Your house, your entitled to not want poo everywhere

Geordieminx · 27/01/2013 12:34

Ooooooh that's weirdy....

LST · 27/01/2013 12:36

YANBU as it's your house your house your rules.

But, my DS has neverbeen changed in a bathroom...

TheTiger · 27/01/2013 12:36

I think you were a bit unreasonable, I assume he has a changing mat in the bag? However, it's your house so your rules so in that case he WBU also.

I don't understand your bit about the nappy in the stove, are you saying that's what he did? That is definitely U, nappies go in the bin!

Original poster

canyou · 27/01/2013 12:41

The bit I find unreasonable is why leave the rooms we were in to go to the room not being used, do it in the room you are in or go the the bathroom.
No changing mat, he was looking for a towel
The tiger yes he left the bathroom nappy in hand to put it on the fire
I have DC in nappies so I do know how bad they can be sometimes I heave and empty retch when changing my lot

OP posts:

ImpatientOne · 27/01/2013 12:42

YANBU and I congratulate you for asking him to use the bathroom.

I have a relative who only visits occasionally and changed her 2 DCs on the carpeted floor without using a changing mat I was so I didn't say anything but really wish I had and will try to be more prepared next time.

Original poster

canyou · 27/01/2013 12:47

ImpatientOne wooden floors through out that is the reason he wanted to use my nice fabric sofa'
Now I really am being unreasonable as I have just put wellies, coats, hats and gloves on all the DC and ordered them out into the garden to jump in muddy puddles while I watch and MN from the ph with a cup of coffee
They can have hot choc after they run around for an hr 20 min and change their clothes

OP posts:

lljkk · 27/01/2013 12:50

It sounds a bit precious, it's not like the nappy was going to be left behind, is it? Most people (me included) need to learn to ask "Where shall I change him?" though.

Peka · 27/01/2013 13:43

Not unreasonable. Just because you're a mother (I presume they wouldn't do this at a house w/o children?) doesn't mean every nice thing you have has to get shat on.

Callmedoe · 27/01/2013 14:35

I like the phrase 'Everyone got odd'

lovetomoan · 27/01/2013 14:42

YANBU
And I have a 3 month old baby. I am a bit of a clean freak though.

IDontDoIroning · 27/01/2013 14:43

He puts the nappy on the fire ??????
For that alone he was bvu.
He was also bu wanting to go into your nice children free zone room. Bathroom was the best choice all round.

RubberBullets · 27/01/2013 14:50

I used a changing table at my SIL's house once. They are so awkward, the floor is much easier. Never changed a nappy in a bathroom, I've always asked where I should change when at someone else's house and only SIL has suggested I go to another room.

RuleBritannia · 27/01/2013 14:52

Ignorant here. Why should the DB not have put the nappy on the fire? He would have been avoiding landfill. Mine had terry nappies so they were just swilled off into the bath and the poo pushed down the plughole washed and reused.

If placentas (ae?) could be burnt on the fire in my day, why couldn't a pooey nappy be put on the fire? If it's a question of plastic sticking to the glass, he just had to push it towards the back with the poker (I assume you have one) on your companion set?

Thingiebob · 27/01/2013 14:55

It's your house. YANBU. I always ask where it is convenient to change nappies.

Thingiebob · 27/01/2013 14:56

I like the phrase 'Everyone got odd'

I do too!

foreverondiet · 27/01/2013 15:01

I agree... I hate people changing smelly nappies in sitting room in front of other people - I direct them either to bathroom or DS2's room with changing mat. Its your house, so up to you.

popsgran · 27/01/2013 15:03

your house ,you decide.not everyone wants to witness a nappy change.call me old fashioned (i am ) the bathroom or another room with everything to hand sounds the best place.

Original poster

canyou · 27/01/2013 15:04

Rule pooey nappies smell bad when being burnt also the stove is slow burn ie I lit it this morning at 9.30 am with 1 shovel of coal, a few sticks and a large log, that fire is still going strong and hopefully I will not need to add more fuel for another hr so a nappy would still be melting as opposed to burning iyswim and they do specify no plastic to be burnt in them.
To be fair if he did not want to use the changing table he could have used a bedroom or 3 or a kitchen or a dining room, but why a room that is locked to keep it visitor ready?
Rubberbullets you may have a point that I did not see I have a bad back so prefer a changing table.
Ok must go release a child from life time incarceration the naughty chair and find away of politely asking everyone to leave soon as they have been fed, 6 extra DC is beginning to test my patience's.

OP posts:

worsestershiresauce · 27/01/2013 15:04

This is a pet hate of mine. I always ask guests to use the biggest bathroom as there is plenty of room to change a baby, and make sure they have a bin and everything they need. It doesn't stop them doing nappy changes in the middle of the living room carpet, and feeding babies on the only 'nice' armchairs I have and not telling me about the split baby rice down the upholstery.

Perhaps it is just me, but I assumed that it was the accepted norm to change babies in the bathroom and feed them in the kitchen. Just because they are happy to have splodges of unidentified noxious substances everywhere in their house doesn't mean I want the same in mine. I'm not particularly precious about the house either, I just think shit and food have their place and that is never going to be the carpet or soft furnishings.

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