to not want guests round the time I am due to have my baby?

[dreamsicle]

Don't quite know how i found myself in this situation but I am stressing about it already.

DH has invited best friend and wife to visit us from abroad a while ago. They initially said they would come for a weekend end of January and we waited for them to confirm and tell us when.

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant and have a DC who is 2 and a half. DH told me casually tonight after I asked that the couple are indeed coming to stay with us end of next week for 5 days. In theory that may not be a huge issue if new baby is not here yet. But they are due to leave only 10 days before my due date, i.e. the new baby could come any time from now until they leave. I don't think I could cope with having guests when I go into labour or when I come back from hospital and I also think it unfair for DC1 to have people staying with us and a new sibling all happening at once.

I am a bit upset that the friends think this is a good plan (they know roughly when I am due, but they don't have kids) and that DH does not seem to have grasped that this is an uncomfortable situation to put me in. I have said nothing to him as I didn't want to upset him- he has not planned this intentionally and he would hate to let his best friend down by making him feel unwelcome. I like the couple, they are easy-going and wouldn't need much attention from us if it come to me having a baby whilst they are here, but I just cannot see how this would work without adding unnecessarily to my stress. If baby is here then I want to have the house to myself to establish breastfeeding and bonding in the first few days, rather than have to be in my bedroom to get away from things. Having them here would just add to an already busy and stressful family time. However, this is all a big maybe as baby may not be here till after they have been and gone. I know life does not stop 3 weeks before due date.

AIBU to say something to DH and what exactly would be acceptable in your opinion?

I am currently 38w 2d and the thought of house guests is not a pleasant one.

Contact them and tell them not to come, if your dh won't.

Dear friends, I am sure you will appreciate why this is not the best time for you to visit but we really look forward to having you when the baby arrives safely (and is a few months old).

Thank you

You must stand up for yourself here!

Oh, a footnote to my anecdote. If they had of had the baby whilst we were staying, we would be out the door to a hotel (unless they asked for help with their older son).

I think just keep it simple and say to your DH - I don't want them here if I go into labour and when I have the new baby; can you manage that message however you think best?

I don't think you could really justify rescinding the invite because it's now five nights, not two, given what you've said about convenience. Personally I'd love some relaxed and self-helping guests babysitters around if I was heavily pregnant. I remember what it was like trying to bathe DS etc in third trimester.

I wouldn't worry if you can as it may not be an issue, and may well be a blessing in disguise. You could say after DC arrives that your relatives will be wanting to come and stay (assuming that's the case?).

tell your dh and your friends how you feel.
your baby could appear at any time. this is not a good time to visit!

YANBU. My inlaws rocked up, all 4 of them, granted the BIL and sil stayed in a hotel, when I had a 4 day old. It was ducking stressful, I wanted my mum, not them, and I spent the two days if their visit pretty much hiding in our room trying to establish breastfeeding. Dd is our last baby and tbh it ruined the start of her being home, and I'm still upset about it.

I think you need to saw something like - we thought you coming in jan which was fine but now your stay us very near my due date which is less ideal. It's fine for you to come but if I go into labour I'm sure you'll understand that I need my privacy so if that happens I'd appreciate if you find alternative accommodation.

oh really OP - stop putting what flaky people want ahead of what's best for you, being stressed in the final stages of pregnancy is not good for you or the baby. You will be stressed by them being there and the chance you'll be in labour. If you are in labour and they are there in your space while you are trying to think of a polite way to ask them to leave/hope they take the hint/arrange somewhere else for them to go it will make you more stressed which is not conjusive with a smooth labour.

If you've just had a newborn and breastfeeding, you do not want anyone you're not prepared to show your boobs too in your house for more than an hour. You will have health appointments, a child to deal with and guests who are there to be entertained not to basically be your nurse/maid/cook will make the first few days when you are recovering hell.

The absolute best case is you aren't in labour and haven't had the baby, in which case they will just be making you stressed and feel you have to entertain/cook for them, not sleep.

Tell your DH to sort it, they have missed their window of opportunity to visit now until the baby is at least 5 months old. His friends, his problem. He can piss them off or piss off his child.

Stop being nice, make him fix this.

For me it wouldn't be the issues with actually having the baby with guests around- labouring, hospital etc - it would be the fact you couldn't be in PJs at 3pm, that you'd worry about waking them up when you went to the loo at 1, 2,3,4,5 am, that pre-birth insomnia when you have to watch Jeremy Kyle at 3am because you are too uncomfortable to sleep... when you need to bake a cake/mop the floor/rearrange furniture/wash towels at stupid o'clock because 'the baby wants me to' OH and sobbing uncontrollably at reading bedtime stories to your toddler .... that's what you can't do when you have guests staying when you are 38 weeks pregnant.