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AIBU?

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Original poster

Photos of me, in my underwear, on the I-cloud

36 replies

StormyWeek · 26/01/2013 00:35

My DH does all things technological in our house. We have Apple everything, including Apple TV. DH has all his photos from his iPhone stored in iCloud. When apple tv goes into standby, it shows a random selection of his photos from his
Iphone.

One day, over Christmas, there was alot of tittering from my kids and their friends. There were 2 very unflattering photos of me getting dressed, floating about the screen. DH said he had been messing about with his phone,had taken the photos, and didn't know that they got uploaded etc etc.

I wasn't impressed, but remained cool, and trusted him to remove them.

About two weeks later, I again noticed that the photos were still there, and he said he would deal with it. I should add at this point, that about 50% of the photos are of receipts, because he uses the iCloud to transfer his receipts to his accountant.

So, tonight, I again catch sight of my lumpy 40 year old arse, floating about the screen, and I read him the riot act. He shut down and refused to speak. We watched the episode of the programme we were watching, and he took himself off to bed. I followed him up, and he said I had "hairdryered" him, and that it wasn't fair as he thought that the photos had been deleted.

Really? ?

I didn't know photos were being taken.
I didn't give any permission
I don't understand the iCloud. Are our accountants looking at me in my bra and knickers?
I don't want fucking awful photos of me springing to life on my tv.
It has taken me years to be comfortable enough to be seen in a swimsuit in public. I think I look great in clothes, but hate my naked self.
I don't know why he took silent photos of me, in my post Christmas plumpness.
He works in IT. He is very successful at it.
He thinks I'm being a knob for getting emotional about this.

I believe he is totally and utterly in the wrong and I feel gutted.

AIBU

OP posts:
cocoachannel · 26/01/2013 00:39

No YANBU, and you have my sympathy. Not nice at all. Sad

StuntGirl · 26/01/2013 00:40

He should have deleted them. It sounds like he got in a mood 'cause he knows he's in the wrong.

mum11970 · 26/01/2013 00:40

If he works in IT he should be able to delete these pics no problem.

apostropheuse · 26/01/2013 00:41

YANBU

This is very strange. I have no doubt he will know how to delete them properly if he works in IT.

He may have been fooling around and originally not meant any harm when he took the pictures, but once he knew you weren't comfortable with them he should have deleted them immediately.

After you again told him you wanted them deleted he should just have done it there and then, not gone into a bloody huff about it.

Hiz behaviour is totally unacceptable and bizarre to be honest.

I would be wondering who else had seen the bloody pictures now.

Insist he deletes them while you watch him do it.

AladdinOnRepeat · 26/01/2013 00:41

I would be mortified and upset if it was me.

I have an iCloud thing on my phone and the stupid thing grabs any photos that I get via email or text or take with my phone and I really can't work out how to delete them. I have 400 photos of a friends wedding that she emailed me to look at clogging up my phone as I can't delete them from the iCloud stream thing. I'm not very techy though, but if he does know his to get rid of them and hasn't then its really unfair to you.

Samnella · 26/01/2013 00:41

YANBU.

AgentZigzag · 26/01/2013 00:42

He's in the wrong for not making the effort to get rid of them after you've told him how you feel.

I'm not sure what 'hairdryered' him means, but if I'd asked him to delete them three times already and they were still there, I'd delete the whole file they were in.

Not sure what I think about him taking piccys of you in your undies without you knowing though.

Is there anything in that?

I can't imagine my DH doing that, and if he did, he'd make sure I was aware he was doing it at the time, and delete them if I had second thoughts about it.

FFS, them being on public view is more than just lax about how you feel, it's the stuff of nightmares, like walking down the road in the nuddy.

WorraLiberty · 26/01/2013 00:42

YANBU

May I suggest you take a photo of him spread eagled and slobbering in his sleep and upload it to FB?

Make sure you set it to 'public'.

JaambaJuice · 26/01/2013 00:43

YANBU.

I wouldn't care about my husband having the photos - but just for him to see.

Maybe take secret photos of him in his birthday suit to be accidentally broadcast? Grin

AgentZigzag · 26/01/2013 00:43

In the last sentence I meant like having a nightmare about walking down the street starkers.

MaBumble · 26/01/2013 00:44

No, you are not being unreasonable. He may have meant no harm, he may have thought they where deleted - but the fact remains he took them without you knowing, didn't care enough to check that they where delete and doesn't seem to care that he has really upset you.
Tell him that he'll get worse than the hair dryer treatment if he doesn't sort it out and how dare he betray your trust like that. Or does he never want you to get naked in front of him ever again?

ThatVikRinA22 · 26/01/2013 00:44

i would more than "hairdryer" him.....i would effing kill him if he didnt remove them very very very swiftly.

YANBU but you know that.

apostropheuse · 26/01/2013 00:44

Here's a link telling you how to delete these pictures:

support.apple.com/kb/HT5125

SirBoobAlot · 26/01/2013 00:45

Think this is a bit odd, actually.

MaBumble · 26/01/2013 00:46

Ps. Hair drying treatment is having such a go at someone it blasts their hair back. And this one was well deserved.

HopAndSkip · 26/01/2013 00:48

YANBU, but (and not sticking up for him as he shouldn't have done it) maybe he likes the photos of you and thats why he didnt delete them straight away?
Try to take it as a sign of how attracted to you he is, that he wanted to take and keep the photos.

(And then go absolutely crazy at him if he does anything like it again.)

AgentZigzag · 26/01/2013 00:49

If I was feeling uncharitable and looking on it from the worst possible scenario POV, I see a man covertly taking pictures of his wife in a state of undress, and then possibly getting a kick of out airing them publically, and then enjoying the level of control I'd have over deciding not to delete them so I could see her squirm and know she had this hanging around in the back of her mind.

AgentZigzag · 26/01/2013 00:50

Bottom line is the photographs were not consented to.

That's wrong.

AgentZigzag · 26/01/2013 00:51

Cheers for that explanation MaB Smile

blindworm · 26/01/2013 00:54

What does it mean to 'hairdryer' someone?
YANBU. If he's good enough with the technology to put the pictures up she should be good enough to take them down, or just not use it.

blindworm · 26/01/2013 00:55

Oops, didn't realise hairdryering had already been explained.

HopAndSkip · 26/01/2013 00:55

It's completely wrong to do it without consent, I agree Agent, but I was trying to make OP feel a bit better about it by getting her to consider his reasons behind it. Equally it could be as you said, but it sounds like OP is a bit body conscious from the post, which is a shame as it would appear DP loves her body if the reasons behind the photos weren't malicious.

Startail · 26/01/2013 00:56

I have phot sharing firmly turned off for just this reason.
DH's arsing about with cameras often involves trying to get bits of my unclothed anatomy in shot.

They get rapidly deleted.

The only ones he's allowed to keep are of me PG, I don't mind looking fat in those.

AgentZigzag · 26/01/2013 00:57

I agree though Hoppy, I thought it was kind of nice if he had them because he liked having a piccy of his wife that was only for him on his phone.

But then the creepy/suspicious side of me kicked in Grin

AgentZigzag · 26/01/2013 00:57

Thanks though anyway blind.

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