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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU if I sent an email to the comp complaining about the boy on the school bus?

29 replies

Enfyshedd · 25/01/2013 16:26

Was going to send it yesterday, but got distracted when I got home and didn't get a chance.

Yesterday, I was pushing DD in her pram through the snow and the bus for one of the local comprehensives drove past. There were a few boys mucking about on the bus which drew my attention and one of them in particular was pulling faces at me. Now, I've been told a few times that I have an "oriental" appearance from certain angles, and after I looked up at the bus the first time, the boy started to pull the corners of his eyes.

WIBU if I emailed the school to complain about this boy's behaviour? I got a really good look at him while he was pressing his face up against the window and I can't imagine there's many boys in the school with that hair colour/style.

OP posts:
thebody · 25/01/2013 16:28

Well he would probably deny it but its worth sending the email.

FeckOffCup · 25/01/2013 16:29

YANBU, I would send the school an email as I'm sure they will not be impressed with this type of behaviour being associated with them.

SolidSnake · 25/01/2013 16:30

YANBU, foul.

DoItToJulia · 25/01/2013 16:31

When I was at school we were expected to behave appropriately if we were in school uniform. The uniform meant that we were representing the school in society and should behave as a good citizen.

Based on that, drop them an email. Even if I gets bought up in assembly, it's got to be a good thing to make school children conscious of their actions in public.

Therefore YANBU.

NatashaBee · 25/01/2013 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Celticlassie · 25/01/2013 16:33

Our school would take that very seriously.

AnameIcouldnotthinkof · 25/01/2013 16:33

I would send an email to the school.
They will not be happy about that sort of image of the school going around,

MariusEarlobe · 25/01/2013 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StuntGirl · 25/01/2013 16:39

I would send the email.

Original poster
Enfyshedd · 25/01/2013 16:50

Ok, here's what I'm thinking of sending:

I'm writing regarding the behaviour of some of the students on the XX school bus on the afternoon of Thursday 24th January. While walking along the street, my attention was drawn by actions being made by 2 or 3 boys. When I looked up at them (wondering if it was my step son who attends another school), one boy in particular began pulling the corners of his eyes in a potentially racist gesture.

The boy in question appeared to be aged 13-15 and has XX hair. It would be appreciated if you could speak to the boy and remind him of the importance of being a good ambassador for your school.

Opinions?

OP posts:
cansu · 25/01/2013 16:56

Yes send it but be aware they won't necessarily be able to find out who it was. They could though speak to all the children who take the bus to remind them about what is expected.

DoItToJulia · 25/01/2013 16:56

I think you need to be really explicit in your description of his behaviour and how it made you feel.

Original poster
Enfyshedd · 25/01/2013 17:36

He was definitely trying to draw my attention - there wasn't anyone else within 20 yards of me. I didn't really feel anything other than thinking "there's an obnoxious little prat who wants a slap off someone one day".

How about I change it to: "It would be appreciated if you could try to identify the boy and remind him and others of the importance of being a good ambassador for your school."?

OP posts:
13Iggis · 25/01/2013 18:11

The racist side of it won't be apparent if they don't know he was directing it at your appearance, iyswim. Bet they'll know exactly who it is (and sigh). They can't really discipline him for behaviour outside school, but they can make it very clear how crap his behaviour was, and could involve his parents (who can discipline him). Could call the police actually if you wanted to take it that far.

countrykitten · 25/01/2013 18:14

Def get in touch. My school would take this very seriously indeed. Little shits.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 25/01/2013 18:16

YANBU.

I phoned the school once when I was sitting in my front room and a bus was stationery outside with some local school kids on, and once of them gave me the finger. They were Year 5! The head sounded weary and knew exactly who it was, but dealt with it.
If kids aren't challenged when they are antisocial, then they will think it's ok. You should do it.

Tabliope · 25/01/2013 18:19

I would take out the word "potentially" and say he directed a racist action at me, which is what he did. The way you have it now it's not totally clear it was aimed at you and the "potentially" means you're not 100% certain it was racist while I think you know it was and that it was aimed directly at you. Awful behaviour that needs challenging.

ravenAK · 25/01/2013 18:20

Yes, send it.

My school would give him a fixed term ban from the buses.

Since most of our kids are bussed in from a few miles away, they hate this - parents have to sort out their transport, which means they are in trouble with said parents AND often have to wait at school for parents to finish work & get them.

The behaviour on our buses is verging on the exemplary as a result.

shrimponastick · 25/01/2013 18:24

YWNBU.

DS catches a bus home from school (not a school bus), along with a good few other pupils and there have been complaints about much less serious matters than your incident.

It isn't a minor issue - and better that he learns it is wrong now - than tries it agan and gets a punch in the face for his troubles.

Original poster
Enfyshedd · 25/01/2013 19:27

Email sent - we'll see if the school sends a reply next week.

OP posts:
Loie159 · 25/01/2013 19:42

Do it OP. several years ago 3 boys in school uniform about 13 yo, told me to fuck off whilst I was holding my 4 week old DD and with my 16month old son. I called school and deputy head too it VERY seriously. Invited me in to look at year boys snd I identified about 10 boys if could have been. School interviewed them all and when one confessed, they were disciplined by school, parents told and were made to write apology letters to me. So please do do it as this happened about 4pm but they dealt with it swiftly and very well.

Loie159 · 25/01/2013 19:43

Do it OP. several years ago 3 boys in school uniform about 13 yo, told me to fuck off whilst I was holding my 4 week old DD and with my 16month old son. I called school and deputy head too it VERY seriously. Invited me in to look at year boys snd I identified about 10 boys if could have been. School interviewed them all and when one confessed, they were disciplined by school, parents told and were made to write apology letters to me. So please do do it as this happened about 4pm but they dealt with it swiftly and very well.

DoItToJulia · 25/01/2013 19:51

Update us enfy!

DoItToJulia · 25/01/2013 19:52

If and when they respond I mean!

boredSAHMof4 · 25/01/2013 19:54

My school would give him a fixed term ban from the buses.

apart from private schools, I don't think schools run or have any jurisdiction over home to school transport