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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross with 7 year old for being forgetting.

46 replies

IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 19:21

AIBU to be cross with dd for forgetting to bring home her reading book?

OK, this morning I ask dd where her book is. She has left it at school for the umteenth time. So, on the way to school I have a bit of a rant and rave about it and get cross and tell her to remember it tonight, or else....? I drop her at the classroom door and the last thing I say is go and get your book now from your drawer and put it in your bag ready to bring home. This evening she comes home without it. She forgot, she couldn't even remember it from the the time it takes her to walk fom the playground to the classroom. The book never entered her head from the second I left her until I asked her about it after tea.

She is in Y3

AIBU to expect her to remember?

If not, how can I get things to stay in her head for more than 2 minutes?

OP posts:
RarelyAGobshite · 24/01/2013 19:23

Sounds like a normal 7 year old to me.

Ask the teacher to make sure it's in her bag?

phantomnamechanger · 24/01/2013 19:25

are you sure the book was not used today - could have put it in the bag this morning then left in her tray to go out at play or something, having been reading it

cloudpuff · 24/01/2013 19:26

I think at 7 she should be able to remember herself. My dd is also in y3 and the teachers do not make sure letters and books etc are in their bags as its the child's responsibilty.

You could ask the teacher to prompt her maybe.

Is she forgetful in in general or is it just with the reading book? Could there be any chance she is forgetting on purpose to get out of reading?

23balloons · 24/01/2013 19:26

Sounds like my son, it is still happening in y5. He forgets homework, diary, lunchbox etc basically everything. He has poor organisational skills & writing issues, I am convinced he is dyspraxia. Hopefully your daughter is just forgetful? I am looking at getting my son assessed.

phantomnamechanger · 24/01/2013 19:27

oh and yes it sounds normal, my very bright Y6 will occasionaly forget something. thats life

you can not expect the teacher to check everyone has their [insert long list of items] in their bags!

AgentZigzag · 24/01/2013 19:29

DD1 is in Yr7 and only just starting to remember stuff, so YABU a bit, maybe a lecture rather than a rant? Could you give her some ways of remembering things? Perhaps associate something like hanging up her coat with the book with a story you've made up?

It's a bit easier at secondary though because I can send her a text as a bit of a prod Grin

TheAccidentalExhibitionist · 24/01/2013 19:30

YABU and overreacting.
So what if she forgot it one day? Have you never forgotten anything?

RarelyAGobshite · 24/01/2013 19:31

Maybe a little list that she has to look at in her bag before she leaves school?

A list that has everything on for the week:
Mon book and pe kit
Tue book
Wed swimming kit etc etc

MumVsKids · 24/01/2013 19:33

I think YABU a little bit.

Dd1 is in year 3 and often forgets stuff. If it bothers you that much, can you not go into the school office and ask for it?

Original poster
IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 19:35

I can understand her forgetting on other days when she hasn't been reminded, but expected her to get it today after being told and me being a cross.

OP posts:
TheAccidentalExhibitionist · 24/01/2013 20:00

Jeez, good job you are not parent to my son, you'd have a meltdown on a daily basis.

Catriona100 · 24/01/2013 20:07

My Ds1 was just like your DD at the same age. even now, i can remember how frustrating it was when he couldn't rememeber to change his reading book day after day for three weeks!

Don't make my mistake and put pressure on her, just because most of her peer group aren't like that. She'll improve dramatically in the next year or two whether you stress her out about it.

Fakebook · 24/01/2013 20:11

My five year old is forgetful...I was pretty forgetful at aged 7 too. Why don't you make remembering things into a game? Like tying a ribbon on her wrist and associating it with the thing to remember?

MammaTJ · 24/01/2013 20:14

Do you pick her up?

Why not send her back to class to get it?

Original poster
IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 20:28

I don't pick her up every day. Thing is I am usually patient with her, but if someone was cross with me and then reminded me 1 minute before I had to do something and the wrath of mummy was hanging over me I think I would have remembered (age 7 or otherwise) from the 1 minute it takes to walk from the door to the classroom. Her tray is also under her desk, so every time she opens her tray to get a pencil out then she has the chance to see the book and remember it. GRRR kids! Drive me mad! Grin

Can't imagine her remembering to look at a list!!!

OP posts:
mum11970 · 24/01/2013 20:31

Did you pick her up today?

Original poster
IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 20:51

No

OP posts:
Fakebook · 24/01/2013 21:05

Well you need to teach her to look at a list or finding ways to get her to remember. Does she like reading? Or is trying to get out of reading? Have you had her eyes tested?

DonderandBlitzen · 24/01/2013 21:30

My daughter is like that and I just check her bag when she comes out to see if she has remembered everything and send her back if she hasn't. If someone else is picking up i send them a text with what she needs to bring home and they check and send her back in if she doesn't. I do think kids have a lot more to remember than we did, with all the clubs, equipment, clothes changes, water bottles etc.
If my daughter is still like this at high school i will just make her write in her planner what she needs each day so she can check. I think some kids just need more help in organising themselves than others. They aren't being naughty, they are just thinking of other things. They probably have too much to think about.

Original poster
IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 21:42

So, none of your 7 year olds can remember an instruction for 1 minute? really? Maybe I have too high expectations then.

I could understand if she had to remember an instruction from the morning until home-time, but I asked her to go straight to her tray and get her book and put it in her bag in the morning. She only had to remember that for the time it took to walk from the door to the classroom (about 25m). It was the last thing I said to her when i dropped her off.

I asked her why she didn't do it and she just forgot! She didn't read during the day, the teacher didn't stop her doing it right away, nothing. She reads something else at home if she forgets so she isn't avoiding reading.

OP posts:
Hassled · 24/01/2013 21:44

I doubt she forgot. She doesn't want to bring home her reading book.

AgentZigzag · 24/01/2013 21:49

If she was supposed to do it straight away, you're not angry at her for 'forgetting' because as you've said it's not plausible that she forgot in that time, you're angry because she didn't do as she was told.

But it's in a situation where you have no control over her (as such) and that makes it doubly frustrating.

YANBU to be incredibly frustrated at having 'I forgot' being used as an excuse so early on (it gets worse and even more frustrating Grin) but realistically, what can you do?

In the end it's not something life/death, it's not even that important, if she gets into trouble for not having read the book it will be between her and the teacher to sort it out between them.

meltedcreditcard · 24/01/2013 21:51

She forgot! She's 7. It's not the end of the world is it?

I can shout instructions as soon as DS (also 7) walks into the classroom, however I've watched him.

He walks into classroom and is suddenly surrounded by his peers yapping about whatever interests 7 year olds (in his case it's sticker books of football players). So he easily forgets me and whatever I have said. He's no longer focussed on whatever I have said but in his peers and sticker books, so he forgets!

Original poster
IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 22:02

Hassled she did forget. The book is one she chose herself, she started another tonight from the same series without being prompted, she just wanted to. Problem is she has several half read books because she forgets to bring them home.

She is just as forgetful at home. I ask her to do something and she sets off and gets distracted and forgets to do it. SOOO annoying.

OP posts:
mazzi2fly · 24/01/2013 22:03

My 7 year old DD is like this too.

Last night she had remembered her Reading book but forgotten her packed lunch box and gloves. We printed out a list to remind her and laminated it. It's fastened onto the outside of her bag by a keyring.

Now we just hope she remembers to look at the list!

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