Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To be cross with 7 year old for being forgetting.

46 replies

IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 19:21

AIBU to be cross with dd for forgetting to bring home her reading book?

OK, this morning I ask dd where her book is. She has left it at school for the umteenth time. So, on the way to school I have a bit of a rant and rave about it and get cross and tell her to remember it tonight, or else....? I drop her at the classroom door and the last thing I say is go and get your book now from your drawer and put it in your bag ready to bring home. This evening she comes home without it. She forgot, she couldn't even remember it from the the time it takes her to walk fom the playground to the classroom. The book never entered her head from the second I left her until I asked her about it after tea.

She is in Y3

AIBU to expect her to remember?

If not, how can I get things to stay in her head for more than 2 minutes?

OP posts:

LiegeAndLief · 24/01/2013 22:04

My ds is 6. Every morning we have the same routine (we are still allowed, practically encouraged, into cloakroom/classroom in the morning). As we are walking to classroom I say "ds, for the love of god when we get inside take your coat off and hang it on your peg". 10 seconds later ds walks into cloakroom and stands in the middle in a daze. Every fucking morning. He either ha the memory of a goldfish or he just tunes me out constantly.

meltedcreditcard · 24/01/2013 22:07

Also reading book? Mine is reading on his own so don't tend to fret too much about a change of reading book as I did in year 1 and 2.

He now reads what he enjoys, I ask him about the books he's reading and get him to read a bit on his own but now he chooses his own books from the school library. He no longer has to read aloud to me (he likes diary of a wimpy kid and Roald Dahl books)

I do have to remind him about spelling tests!

Original poster

IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 22:13

Yes, I suspect there might be a lot of "tuning out' going on with dd.

I am not really bothered about the book that much and know it's not the end of the world. It's the principle that it's ok to just 'forget' that I hate.

OP posts:

sukysue · 24/01/2013 22:13

leave the kid alone she's 7,perhaps she doesn't want to read with you and if you overreact like this about a reading book no wonder.

neverputasockinatoaster · 24/01/2013 22:14

I am 45. I am perfectly capable fo forgetting to do something within a metre after thinking it needed to be done.......

Where I used to live there was a post box right outside my door - I had to pass the bloody thing to get to my car - I frequently would walk out fo the door holding a letter to post and arrive at work to find it on the seat next to me in the car......

Some people have the memory of a goldfish.

Now, what were we talking about?

Original poster

IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 22:19

I don't read with her most of the time, she reads independently, I only need to keep a check that she's is reading and keeping her reading journal up to date.

It's NOT the reading that is the issue it's the forgetting! The book forgetting is just one example, she forgets everything!

Like a sieve!

OP posts:

numbum · 24/01/2013 22:24

My DS, also y3, is the same. Every Monday I remind him as he goes through the door to take his dinner money out of his bag and put it in the class box. Every Monday after school my y1 DD removes DS' dinner money from his bag and hands it to his teacher. His solution? 'write me a note to put in my bag to remind me'

FannyBazaar · 24/01/2013 22:33

I think I have lost my expectation that my 7yo DS will bring his reading book home more than once a term. I think most parents seem to pick their children up from school so can remind them and send them back in when they pick them up. As a parent who doesn't normally pick up their DC there does not seem to be any way around it. I missed the rule that you are expected to work part time or not at all and seem to have somehow been allowed to work full time.

The teachers say they can't make sure children take things home and can only give a general instruction to the class. If I ring the school office about anything DS hasn't brought home like newsletters, club info etc, I am usually told to ask the teacher when I pick him up. It is assumed all children will be picked up by a parent.

TheSnowFairy · 24/01/2013 22:59

DS (age 10) doesn't remember anything. DS (age 8) remembers most things, as does DD (age 4). It's just the way they are (although it can be utterly frustrating).

I am praying secondary school will sort DS1 out

DonderandBlitzen · 24/01/2013 23:01

Fanny, can whoever picks up check if you let them know? Or if your son is going straight to after school club, could you ask a staff member to check and then send him back for the stuff? Or could whoever picks up from after school care send him back in to school?

ClairesTravellingCircus · 24/01/2013 23:05

My now 8 year old was exactly the same
I'd send her upstairs to do something and I'd find her an hour later doing something else, she had forgotten! Which is just short hand for 'I got distracted'. Which is always happened with her, she got distracted very easily. If it makes you feel better, now she's 8 and a few months she's masses better!

goingupinfairylights · 24/01/2013 23:07

write it on her hand? -I send my 8 year old DS into school with scribbles on!! it works.

Original poster

IsabelleRinging · 24/01/2013 23:08

Exactly Fanny, I expect dd to forget some things at home-time, she's 7. BUT I am not sure IABU to expect her remember 1 minute after having a good telling off and being instructed to go and put it in her bag NOW!.

That sounds promising Claire

OP posts:

FannyBazaar · 24/01/2013 23:25

Thanks Donder but my DS goes to After School Club, they pick up from school and take them to club off site. They can't really keep the bus waiting for my DS to go back into class as they sometimes have kids on the bus already from other schools. The school doesn't provide child care because parents are not supposed to work full time. Useless Childminder I used when DS first started school never seemed able to make the effort to remind DS to bring stuff home either.

I am just waiting for the teacher to one day comment on his reading record not being filled in so I can remind her of the impossibility of getting it home.

When the book does come home, it is often not put back in the bag to take to school despite me asking and reminding before we leave the house.

simonedeboudoir · 24/01/2013 23:30

Ease up on her ffs. I'm 40 and forget where I my car keys at least twice a day. In spite of giving myself a good telling off on a regular basis. And I tidied away the washing up liquid in the fridge this morning

Catriona100 · 25/01/2013 15:55

If its any use, I can tell you what I did to get DS to remember when he was in Y3. After i'd tried threatening him with a punishment if he forgot again (unsuccessful)

I put a note on two post its and stuck one to his water bottle and one to the velcro part of his bag so that he wouldn't be able to open his bag without seeing it. It worked (ish!).

He's in Y6 now and the problems in Y3 are just a dim memory, so you don't have to micro manage them for ever like this. Just like all the other phases, both good and bad, its soon over.

Pandemoniaa · 25/01/2013 16:05

Do you normally get so cross about relatively trivial things? Only it occurs to me that this "forgetting" of the reading book could be her way of exerting a little bit of control. In other words, you can nag all you like but it won't necessarily have the effect you want. Or of course, she might genuinely be very forgetful in which case tellings off alone may not be terribly helpful either.

TheAccidentalExhibitionist · 25/01/2013 16:06

IsabelleRinging chill out, so what if she forgot it one day? You continue TBU, she's a kid.
You have unreasonable expectations and I find it weird that you want us to confirm your right to be angry.
You are not exactly coming across as an empathetic mother.

Fakebook · 25/01/2013 16:07

If not, how can I get things to stay in her head for more than 2 minutes?

Are you going to take anyone's advice and try to sort out the problem rather than keep repeating yourself over and over about how her forgetfulness is annoying you?
You could try visual timetables to help her remember things everyday too?

Fakebook · 25/01/2013 16:08

If she's constantly forgetting things, it's your fault for not helping her find other ways of remembering. She probably forgets out of fear of you getting angry again.

degutastic · 25/01/2013 16:16

Wow OP some of the responses here

I don't think you're being unreasonable to be irritated in the circs - it is frustrating when something so simple is seemingly ignored by your DD / she seems oblivious to your her telling off. I was like that at 7 and it drove my mother wild. I'm still pretty vacant forgetful, but you get used to it

Flip

1 2