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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Airing dirty laundry on fb can be a good thing?

42 replies

ShephardsDelight · 23/01/2013 17:25

I have seen over the years and one fairly recently,
messages of peoples public walls often sent by a gf/wife of someone who has been cheating to the other woman or their partner (just ime I've never seen a man do it). Basically along the lines of 'Thanks for ruining my marriage!' or something.
My first thought is Shock in airing something like that in such a public place! and also if the wife/gf making herself look like she a soap star wannabe or something.
But I also found myself thinking, good on them!!!!
Often the worst thing about cheating is the humiliation, "who knew before me' etc.So maybe a good dose of humiliation to the cheaters is a good thing??. I was told my opinion is wrong and thats its never a good idea under any circumstance, am BU?

OP posts:
manicbmc · 23/01/2013 17:27

YABU - it's their husbands who have been unfaithful. It's not necessarily the case that the other woman even knows the bloke is married.

ilovesooty · 23/01/2013 17:28

I don't think it's a good idea to air your dirty linen in public on FB, no.

It's undignified and embarrassing, regardless of the circumstances.

usualsuspect · 23/01/2013 17:30

Not a good idea, no. Very entertaining though Grin

WorraLiberty · 23/01/2013 17:30

YABU

Many people have their kids and other family members on FB

Making your wall into a Jeremy Kyle show is embarrassing and rather crass.

squeakytoy · 23/01/2013 17:30

yabu. a marriage is ruined by the person who is in that marriage and decides to cheat..

OverlyYappyAlways · 23/01/2013 17:30

I think it's horrid. Different situation but someone who lives locally has lost a dear family member, the public grieving over facebook is very strange imo.

I couldn't face a PC when my life was bad.

different folks and all that I guess.

HannahsSister40 · 23/01/2013 17:34

I love it when people air dirty laundry on Facebook. The dirtier the better!
(Wouldn't do it myself though)

BluelightsAndSirens · 23/01/2013 17:35

No, horrible.

Head held as high as possible and aim everything at your husband.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 23/01/2013 18:01

When the wronged party does something like that I just think that's their dignity gone right out the window.

I imagine that, for them, it feels good at the time but they regret later down the line.

catgirl1976 · 23/01/2013 18:24

YABU

It's grim

What happened to dignity?

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 23/01/2013 18:52

I have a friend whos always getting shouty on FB about her family and friends, its annoying.

MoodyDidIt · 23/01/2013 18:54

no, no its NEVER a good thing

voice of bitter experience

Original poster
ShephardsDelight · 23/01/2013 18:57

thanks for the replies,
I agree its entertaining but wouldn't do it myself,

I usually think 'god have some dignity' but for some reason in this case I thought good on you!,
Tbh unless the woman had no idea he was married, the 'only one person cheated' line is bullshit if you knowingly have an affair you are scum.

Has anyone on here done it? *intrigued?

OP posts:
Nagoo · 23/01/2013 19:00

What's worse is when someone airs it all, then takes the husband back. Are we all supposed to forget he shagged the whole village?

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 23/01/2013 19:03

True Nagoo.

Tuesday: You slag, you've ruined my marriage, you're welcome to him.

Friday: Love my gorgeous hubby and kids all the world

Original poster
ShephardsDelight · 23/01/2013 19:05

I have witnessed this actually, a few years back you really pity them actually.

OP posts:
Hegsy · 23/01/2013 19:43

I did this Blush my 'father' had been having an affair with a girl younger than me. I was somewhat angry. We'd been 'friends' I'd defended him to my mum felt like a fucking idiot. He wouldn't speak to me on the phone. Hung up whenever I tried to talk to him about out so this was the only way to vent. Funnily enough the only people that had anything negative to say were one of his sisters who offered to tell me a few 'home truths' never did and then wondered why she wasn't invited to our wedding Hmm and one of her friends who later apologised to me.

Do I regret it? In some ways yes in others no. I have learnt a lot from that time in my life and have definitely learned not to give two hoots what anyone else thinks of me or what I do.

Ps we still have no relationship now and never will again. I cannot forgive the way he's treated my mum my younger brother or some of the things he's said to me and my husband.

Sorry that was long!

OverlyYappyAlways · 24/01/2013 08:57

I haven't done it but was thinking of making my page public and asking my x when my divorce would be through, I have no contact and do not want any, I decided to have my lawyer ask him, I did think of using Facebook, only because he sends me PMs under made up names as I have him blocked, I will see how my lawyer gets on first!

MoodyDidIt · 24/01/2013 14:30

What's worse is when someone airs it all, then takes the husband back. Are we all supposed to forget he shagged the whole village

:o yep someone on my FB did exactly that......

Original poster
ShephardsDelight · 24/01/2013 14:41

I don't know how people do it, I could never ever be anywhere near someone knowing they had been in an intimate situation with someone else at that time. It would make my skin crawl.

Aw Hegsy, must be awful I know someone who blasted their dad regularly for having an affair on fb statuses Shock I could never do that and my dad was a cheat.

OP posts:
WhatsTheBuzz · 24/01/2013 14:45

it's pathetic but I have been guilty of it myself in the 'heat of the moment'. Facebook is a crock of shite for the most part, I got rid of my account and will never go back! Some people need to realise that no-one is waiting with bated breath to find out how they're doing that day.

Cortana · 24/01/2013 14:46

YY Nagoo.

From one person who was defriended a few months ago we have had, infertility and trying to meet NHS criteria for IVF (full details IYKWIM), husband leaves, angry dirty laundry updates, husband comes back, lovey dovey statuses, more personal details about fertility, husband leaves, repeat on a 3 month cycle.

I think the last straw for me was "I'll never hold my baby in my arms" followed by an awkward post from a friend who pointed out she had a DS and was being rather insensitive.

It was awful. She loves it though. It must be hard trying to get IVF, and it shouldn't be such a taboo subject, but the chop and change was unreal.

Hegsy · 24/01/2013 14:53

See cortana that's bizarre! Sounds like she has no respect for herself. Although I did what I did in relation to my dad I've never posted about hubs and my infertility issues in fact I've told only about ten people I have pcos. 6 of those are the colleagues I work with everyday as I didn't think it was fair not explain the time off I was taking for scans tests etc my in laws don't even know our issues

Boggler · 24/01/2013 14:55

YAnbu for thinking that airing dirty laundry in public is wrong, but YABU to expect them them to stop doing it on fb - because I find it so bloody entertaining! I'm thinking of a particular woman that I know from ds's school who is on fb nearly every day letting the world know all the things and people who've upset her, we also get to know when she's had sex (easy to work out from posts and statuses such as 'in bed' and tagging latest partner). It's rather sad that she does it but I think she's lonely and this is her way of being noticed. I think that the people who air dirty laundry are the same peeps who go on Jeremy Kyle to do the same thing, and they all love a bit of 'she said' 'he said' etc. to bring some drama into their lives.

Hullygully · 24/01/2013 14:56

I think it's really good to let it all hang out on fb. More people should do it.