in refusing to believe that im teaching my daughter to be this way?

[Losingexcessweight]

I really need help with this, im a new mum and not sure if im doing the right thing.

DD is 14 weeks old. Shes very talkative in baby language, very observant with whats happening around her, loves being spoken to, played with etc.

Shes not keen on being left on her own (even if i only pop to the loo)

She will happlily sometimes sit in her bouncy chair without being entertained providing she can see somebody.

I thought this was normal behaviour.

However dd has been get very distressed for some time now if not constantly entertained.

Off to the GP i went, thinking there most be something wrong if dd isnt settling very well.

GP checked her over, said he couldnt find anything medically wrong and that he feels this is a "behavioural issue" and to contact my HV.

So i arrive home, contact my HV, had a good chat, she tells me shes never heard of a doctor say that its a behaviour issue with a child so young.

As DD sleeps through the night and has done from around 7 weeks old, the hv says its not behavioural as she ll be the same during the night.

I went to see the hv the next day at the weighing clinic and dd got very very aggitated when there and it took ages to settle her, other parents were staring etc. Again hv sat with me whilst i fed her to see if it was "silent reflux" etc. She does not feel it was and asked me to take her back to the GP to have her urine tested to rule out infection.

I got a urine sample and off we went to the GP with it. The urine test was clear. The doctor said that i was "making a rod for my own back" by constantly attending to dd crying etc within a short space of time and i had to train her to behave in the way i think is acceptable.

I always believed (i have done alot of training with babies and children in the past but not recent) that babies cry for a reason and that by not attending to them youre teaching them that nobody comes etc.

I have been told by a family member that i do a hell of a lot of interacting with dd more than the average parent, and maybe thats why shes expecting it all the time etc.

HV has said that dd is more advanced for her age regarding alertness, back posture and how she supports her head etc and that she just needs a lot of stimulation and gets bored easy.

By interacting so much with dd am i building a rod for my own back and making her have a "behavioural issue"

Any advice more than welcome. I dont know if im doing the right thing by being so attentive towards her.

It doesn't sound like a problem to me. I sometimes think that if you go to people and say you have a problem, they will find one for you. Go for a walk.

dd was like this. honestly it does not last long. she learrned to concentrate for long periods of time and entertain herself (alongside me washing up/wallpapering) by esponding to her needs now, you may be mking thing easier in the future.

I never left DS alone, took him with me if I needed a wee, slept with him, constantly mothered him when he was a little baby, and he is a very independent 2.5 year old now.

She sounds like my dd, except mine didn't sleep through till 18 months old.

I'm not really sure what it is with her, she just hates being left alone. She only started playing on her own when she was 20 months old. I didn't ever leave her to cry, and she was very demanding from day 1.

Best of luck.

So long as the constant attention giving isn't causing you to feel overwhelmed I can't see it is a problem. If it is becoming too much try a hair dryer or Hoover. My dd went through a phase of being grizzly if I put her down, couldn't get dressed or take a shower. I used to leave the hair dryer or Hoover on and she would quite happily listen to the noise. The phase didn't last too long either.
Also you say she is very talkative. Maybe she is just practising!!

She's 14 weeks old?!

Madness. She's tiny and wants you. Normal.

I have to agree with other posters that your GP probably just meant that there wasn't a medical problem with her and her crying was just the way she behaves rather than a sign of anything to worry about. TBH it sounds as though they were gently trying to tell you that you're being a bit PFB - a baby who only cries when they aren't getting attention isn't ill or in pain, otherwise they would cry all the time, and you taking her to the doctor for that is perhaps a little over zealous, albeit understandable.
Also a warning - my son slept through at your daughter's age, but it didn't last and that was not a medical issue either so don't worry too much if she stops doing it as it's almost certainly not going to be something to worry about.

please understand that i am not a medical person, i only have one child and one grandchild and i am in no way an expert and i take no responsibility for however you act if its based on what i'm about to say.

you are dealing with a load of nobbers who are talking crap.

your baby is sleeping well and the rest of the time she is lively and alert.
what you call 'wants entertaining' is her rightly expecting to interact with her beloved mummy and her environment.

she isn't ill. she's alert. she's probably clever. she's a person.

it sounds to me as if you are doing exactly what your daughter needs.

i'm bastard poor at reading threads. if i've got it wrong and she's failing to thrive, i'm sorry, ignore me.

rod for your own back!

i've got one of those! she's thirty and the most beloved little girl in the world, equally with her own daughter.

she's gifted, beautiful, she needs a lot of attention and she's the best daughter a woman could have. and she has one of her own, just like her!

Get a mirror. Put her in front of it. It works!

My daugher was like this (5 now).
I ended up getting a sling to carry her around as she would cry if I put her down. People did tell me I was making a rod for my own back but I could not bear to hear my pfb cry.

At 5 she loves cuddles, is very affectionate and generally well balanced- although loves my company and me as a playmate. When other kids are around to play with, I am dismissed!
The time passes so quickly- enjoy it and let your baby enjoy you.

Your gp is talking shite! Ignore him please. Your baby is still so young and just wants to be close to you!

Like so many others, I have to agree. My DS was like this at 14 weeks. He was also quick to meet his milestones and as soon as he could sit up and move he was much happier. He entertains himself just fine now just as well as I like to mumsnet :)

YANBU. Your daughter is just like that. There is nothing wrong, You're doing nothing wrong. As for 'getting her to sleep through' i'd be questioning their training tbh. You don't 'get' a baby to sleep through. They either do or they don't. Your baby grow/outfits thing will serve well later on but right now tbh it means little to her.

Babies cry. It is what they do.

Sounds like a normal young baby. I think your doctor is the odd one.