AIBU to think there is a problem on MN discussing anything at all to do with income

[amillionyears]

There are a lot of threads started nowadays, that are causing offence to people who are on low incomes.

It is getting increasingly difficult for those on higher incomes to discuss quite a lot of things.

I dont know if the answer is for those with more income, to not talk much about anything, or those with less income to let them talk about what they want to talk about.

I dont know the answer to all of this.
I would like both sets, or indeed anyone in the middle, to be in harmony on MN!

@hully you have been told a few

the cost of keeping up appearances for work
childcare
housing

I read the beginning of the piano tuner thread this morning.

The OP posted that she earns money giving piano lessons and can't afford to get it tuned. She was making a wry observation that 'I can't afford to get to get my piano tuned' sounds like such a 'middle class' problem but in fact it is a problem for her because it is going to result in lost income. Nobody who took offence knew whether this was going to cause her actual hardship or not, they just read the word 'piano' and chose to view her as privileged.

£50 may average out at £1 per week but finding it all in one go is difficult and is easily beyond many people on a low income with bills, childcare, travel etc to manage.

I think the "school costs" issue is the one which makes these threads provocative.

Close friends of ours go on 2 holidays a year. One 'big' holiday, like a week abroad, then a week in a caravan or something...easily £3k worth combined.in addition to this, they do something with their dd every Saturday...day trips to the zoo etc. with spends and petrol that can easily be £100. So that's £3k on holidays and approx £5k on day trips/special activities etc. Yet I wouldn't call them wealthy. They love in an average house, have average jobs, clothes from Asda, a 5 year old car. Comfortable IMO. Maybe not just comfortable to someone who can't afford food or heating...but that's the point. What one person considers 'wealthy' may be different to someone else, based on your own circumstances. Why is it the less well off who have the sole right to brand others as wealthy or rich?

Giving in to "expectations" and making yourself poor in the process is utterly ridiculous. Sorry but it is.

There has still been nothing said that doesnt affect low paid earners.

Living in london? Well arent there menial jobs to be done in london too, on low pay with the same childcare and housing costs?

Soz, ethel, one of my posts got lost.

What do you mean childcare, housing, clothes?

1. piano tuning
2. resoling Louboutins

You could just paint a bit of red nail polish on the worst scrapes, Hully

the poster who didnt feel 'rich' on her high wage was flamed! why?

that was her personal feelings, you can not help how you feel! I for one agreed with her, feeling rich meas different things to different people.

Hmm I know this thread has moved on but surely its the same as any other topic that hits a nerve.

I, for example, dont open threads about how annoyed people are with their dms because mine died some time ago and if I'm not careful I'm all over those threads shouting about how people should be grateful to have a mum etc and thats just not that helpful to someone who just wants a vent.

Private school in my area is around £3k a term, not month! Big difference.

PrettyKitty1986 i agree, you just put it better then me!

That is 9 k a year so roughly 1k a month per child with extras and the higher fees others actually pay.

1k x 3 = 3k a month which is cloud cuckoo land for the vast majority of parents including me and the reason why my dc go the mediocre school down the road.

I find it slightly insulting to infer that with a bit of belt tightening everybody can afford private - they can't. We don't go on holiday,we don't go out,we don't smoke, we have 1 very old car- pray tell where 1 or even 3k a month is supposed co be found in order to spend on school fees?

As I don't have that kind of money down the sofa I keep a close eye on the dc at school and keep on top of things at home like reading and homework.Said school,is improving and the dc are doing well ie they haven't melted.

"Poor me I can't afford the school fees "is something I refuse to have empathy with as for the maj fees aren't an option however shit the school,is.

I really dont want to wade into this but the reason people sometimes moan polka is that although a nice lifestyle is a choice, for our family it comes with 3 jobs, i have 2 and dh works a 14 hour day, and at weekends.

And so yes it is very tiring and the commutes are terrible and even if we moved to a 2 bed flat the rent would still need two salaries and how do you move out of London if both your industries are based there?

Its that feeling of working really hard at supposedly good jobs and still finding life really quite tough.

The quality of life in this country can be rubbish unless you are properly wealthy.

A squeezed middle topic is a good idea.

And my 'grudges' topic too.

OP - I do know what you mean.

There have been several threads where people will come on saying they earn £X (pretty good salary) and that by the time they have paid mortgage or rent, bills, childcare costs and fed the family there is nothing left for holidays or cars or nice days out.
And these people are genuinely asking - how do people on decent but not huge salaries afford these things.

And then they get shot down in flames by the 'OMG if we earned £20k I would feel rich, you insensitive cow what are you moaning about' brigade.

The piano tuner thread should have been funny, but one poster decided to use it as a platform to boast about how much money her DH earns again (as if we don't already know) and how lovely and privileged her life has been, name-dropping private schools and generally making a fool of herself - and being extremely insensitive at the same time.

I dont accept that menial jobs reqire the degree of flexibility in childcare as higher earnings jobs actually. I know as i have done both.

I agree You totally as many do the above and still can't afford fees. School fees are separate and a luxury.If you can afford fees you aren't poor.

I totally sympathise with those working all hours for a salary that looks ok but isn't.Many do this and can't even afford a holiday.

I don't know if the wealth gap is the worst thing at all on mn.

I reckon by far the worst thing is the bloody trolls.

Especially the ones who play the long game, you know, bed in for a while, post a lot on a caring board such as learning difficulties or relationships. Then they start dropping a few bombs which set the place a fire and cry innocence. Their followers from the caring boards pop along in support and it all gets silly, with flounces over the whole fiasco etc. It's amazing how much trouble they can cause on a site.

They are insidious and worse, fucking boring.

Sorry, sorry, just having a bit of a rant, carry on as you were.

Retail.

Care assistant.

Hospitality industry.

All low paid areas where flexibility is usually written in the contracts.