To still use a monitor for a five year old?

[LapinDeBois]

The other day I got a very snarky comment about the fact that I still have a baby monitor for DS1, who is five (I also have one for his 2 year old brother). I know it probably sounds very precious (and I was always a touch PFB with him) but I have two arguments in my defence. First, he's quite an anxious little soul, and he doesn't like getting out of bed by himself (even in the mornings, let alone at night!). Two, I sleep up in a very well-soundproofed loft conversion, and I really can't hear what's happening downstairs. (A few months ago I forgot to turn the monitor on when he was ill and waking up at night, and the next morning he said 'where were you mummy, I shouted and shouted but you never came '.) I guess I could leave the doors open, but neither of the boys likes the door left open, plus I find it makes the bedrooms perishingly cold in the winter. So - I don't think IABU, though at the same time I realise that I won't be wanting a monitor for him when he's 15, and I'm not quite sure when (or how) to break the habit. Views, please?

No-one else's business really. It's not like you're making him wear nappies or drink from a sippy cup is it?
YANBU for the reasons you've given in your op, which you can explain to any other snarky comment-givers (if you can be arsed)

I think its time you put the monitors away, if I am honest. I can't imagine how big your house is if you can't hear a 5 year old shouting you. YABU, sorry.

I think having a monitor in their room when they're 15 would be absolutely genius parenting.

I think he is a bit old for 1 but if your room is far away I can see why you have them Id open room doors slightly so you can hear him , even if it is yours, but dont worry about sarky comments just explain why you have them

When he "shouted & shouted"-was he too ill to get out of bed & come to you?

If not-how did it resolve itself?

you need to be teaching him to come and get you if something is wrong to be honest. And I say that as someone with a similar domestic set-up who used a monitor till around 4. But there's a point where it's more important he can get up and find an adult, rather than shouting for you, because one day you will forget to switch the monitor on in a more urgent situation. like when DS vommed violently and I had the monitor on but turned down so low I couldn't hear it and he just sat in his sick till I checked him

I think it's a bit daft. He'd probably get over his fear of coming to get you if he needed you if the monitor were not there.

I have never used one with my children and havent missed it, Obviously its your decision but I think five is too old, its not the end of the world if you dont come immediately after he calls/wakes up and it may teach him to be a little more independant.

I still use a monitor for dd (4) only because, like you, I sleep a floor uo from the dc and like to hear what's going on. I wouldn't/don't use it when sleeping on the same floor as them.
It's up to you what you do op, no-one else's business.

I don't think you're being pfb at all, your reasons make sense. However, i'd be concerned at the safety aspect of not being able to hear someone shouting in another part of my home.

I don't know how you'd resolve this, but it would worry me.

"I think having a monitor in their room when they're 15 would be absolutely genius parenting"

I think you'd get to hear a few things you really didn't want to know about....

I think what wilson said is a good idea he needs to learn to come out of bed sometimes and call for you, start with moving the monitor away from his bed and show him how to switch it on then you can leave yours on,

Will respond more later, but in answer to the question, when he was ill I didn't discover that he had been shouting until the next morning. My house isn't that big, but you really, really can't hear anything in the loft. (A while ago, I was playing - loudly - with the boys up in the loft with the door shut, and DH came home from work and thought the house was empty. He nearly had a heart attack when he walked into the bedroom and found us all in there.)

Is your DS frightened to come and get you if he needs to in the night?
If he is, I think i would be dealing with that issue before I packed the monitor away.

Whaddaya mean cory?

I want to know everything about their world, they tell me utterly everything.

Nothing my previous darlings do or say wiold displease me.

[naive]

YABU

5 is far too old IMO, my DD has just turned 5 and I couldn't imagine using one with her. I stopped when she was 3 and could be trusted to stay in bed when we'd put her down.

Seriously, he needs to either call louder or get out of bed if he needs you. If he was in need of you that much he would have damn well let you know about, I'm sure.

My DD suffers from terrible asthma and if I felt the need to use one I'd leave her door open a bit and my DS' monitor could pick it up.

I'd only think YANBU if you lived in a house with different wings to it.

We have one for our 4 year old for the evenings as we have an old farmhouse and the bedrooms are upstairs at one end and the livingroom is right at the other end in the old barn extension. It's not huge but the walls are thick stone, doors inbetween are always closed because of the monumental drafts, TV is on so we couldn't hear shouting. He puked twice in his sleep last week because of a virus if we hadn't the monitor we wouldn't have heard him crying. DH used it when he had flu to alert him to his every need as well.

If you can't hear him shouting then why not keep it?

We kept ds's for ages as when we are downstairs in the evening t is hard to hear him call.i

It's nobodies business.

If it makes your life easier and it's not doing you child any harm then I don't see a problem.

I would be encouraging him to come and get you if something is wrong though. Show him there's nothing to be afraid of in his own house. Easier said than done! :o

I use a video monitor in the evenings for my 4 yr old more out of habit than anything else. Really couldn't care what other people think. Ds used to be a terrible sleeper and it allowed me to catch him stirring and resettle him before he fully woke up.
I put it on when ds had his older cousin staying for a sleepover. His cousin was trying to scare him so I'd shout up to go to sleep, the look on his face, think he thinks I can see through walls!
Whatever suits your family imo, you're not harming anyone so really what does it matter what others think.

Well just ignore everyone. Your reasons are sound so who cares what anyone thinks

Its possible having the monitor has caused his inability of getting out of bed if he needs to. You will need to work on this first.

I suppose the problem is when do you stop using the monitor, I am quite confident that he won't be 15 and there still be one. But when is it going to happen? Once he's able to get you if needed it'll no longer be needed.

Does it suit you to keep it? Yes.
Does it suit the children if you keep it? Yes.
Is it hurting anyone else? No.
Carry on as you are, and to fuck with anyone else's opinion.

YANBU and don't sound pfb to me at all, you sound quite sensible.