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Original poster

Help! Calm me down im a mess

46 replies

Canihavesomemore · 21/01/2013 18:15

Firstly I don't know where this should go- I don't want to post this on mental health because people have bigger issues than me on there and don't know how to post on chat on mobile.

I have an interview tomorrow- 3rd interview and they have asked me to do a presentation which I spent all weekend preparing. I have been in my current job for 3 years and I'm really fed up and ds is 18mo and I feel like I can move to this place with the least risk or affecting childcare so I reaaaaally want this.

Problem is I'm getting panic attacks I'm shaking as I type this and as I was running through the presentation with a friend my head started shaking uncontrollablyConfused what can I do to calm down? I'm on the verge of tears and I'm usually so calm about everything I don't know why this is happening. I know the worst that can happen is I don't get it- at this rate the I may cry mid presentation and that would be a bit worse

OP posts:
IDismyname · 21/01/2013 18:16

Go and have a bath. Switch off. Have a Wine and then get a good nights sleep.

You'll be just FAB tomorrow

DrHolmes · 21/01/2013 18:19

Try to relax. You won't cry mid presentation. Just remember how much you want the job. Know your presentation off by heart, lots of eye contact. Even if you dont feel confident just ACT confident.

thebody · 21/01/2013 18:19

In the interview and presentation pretend you are an actor in a TV show and its all a stage.

Also imagine them all on the toilet.

Swear it works.

WipsGlitter · 21/01/2013 18:22

Rescue remedy?

Flossiechops · 21/01/2013 18:23

I know exactly how you feel. I have a major interview coming up, I haven't changed jobs in 14 years mainly because I am so scared of interview Blush. My worst fear is not knowing the answer to one of the questions. I don't have any words of wisdom unfortunately but good luck!!

Chrysanthemum5 · 21/01/2013 18:24

You've prepared, you're ready. Switch off the computer, make sure you have everything you need for tomorrow and then try to forget about it.

During the presentation remember to breathe, and speak at a normal pace. You will be fine. Imagine that the people listening all really like you and want you to do well (because they will want you to do well!).

You can do this, but you need to give yourself a bit of space now. Also. I always plan a treat for myself if I have to do something scary eg I'll get a magazine on the way home or I'll make a special meal.

HecateWhoopass · 21/01/2013 18:24

Do you know any relaxation techniques, like breathing exercises, etc?

Original poster
Canihavesomemore · 21/01/2013 18:25

Haha thanks thebody my first laugh of the day! I'm being so petty I'm even panicking about what to wear when it's snowing had the outfit planned in my head since last week which was power dress and heels but I'll freeze. Need a new outfit make the amends friend suggested, wash and do my hair and practice it another 5 times. The shaking is intense Hmmneed a mantra and all I can think is "one pound fish" Grin I've lost it

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ReluctantMother · 21/01/2013 18:25

You've prepared a great presentation and you are ready. No need to be nervous. Deep breaths, from your abdomen, in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Original poster
Canihavesomemore · 21/01/2013 18:30

Thanks everyone I will try to put ds to sleep and breathe as I prepare. Dh has audio meditation tracks which never worked for me before but I'm willing to try anything - will try them tonight

OP posts:
3rdnparty · 21/01/2013 18:30

if you have an iphone/ipad get the beat panic app - not available on android yet i think....work your way through it don't think its long very good for panic attacks..also grab some rescue remedy before you go in - but don't drink too much of it Grin could get too relaxed.
Try and have a warm bath and get some sleep tonight do you have any relaxation music/or routine that helps....

Keep telling yourself you must be good and what they want if you're back for a 3rd interview no company would be wasting their time otherwise - if you don't get it's because someone else was a better fit thats all...

either way first thing to do when doing a presentation I was taught was to take deep breath, Smile and make eye contact with who your presenting to...

best of luck - don't forget to breathe- if you have a script then put a mark/asterisk every so often as a reminder to take a breath!

Peggotty · 21/01/2013 18:30

If you're prepared it's half the battle. I bet you just go into autopilot when you're doing it and it flows naturally. I had to present recently as part of uni assessments - I can't tell you how scared and nervous I was as I've never done anything like it before but I tried to positively visualise me doing it iykwim and I also prepared well. Yes I did go bright red but I got through it and got good feedback. You will be fine!!!

ElliesWellies · 21/01/2013 18:36
  1. As you're changing DS' nappy, remember - all those people had to have their bums wiped once upon a time.
  1. It is not a matter of life-or-death.
  1. Think of someone you know who is really confident, and pretend you are them.

YANBU to be totally nervous. I hate doing presentations too.

chutneypig · 21/01/2013 18:37

I've talked to a lot of people about this and swear a bit of nerves makes for a better presentation. These are people I've always thought of as the most confident speakers, top of their field.

Before a recent interview I was feeling a bit shaky, so went to the ladies before hand and took about 10 really deep breaths. It helped enormously. I have to make an effort to remember to breath during a presentation, or I talk really quickly. I find remembering to take a breath at the end of every sentence really helps calm me, slow me down and I come across more measured.

Audio meditation is great too. You'll be great.

BettySuarez · 21/01/2013 18:37

You'll be fine, possibly nervous when you first start but then I'm sure you'll get into it Smile

Good luck x

MadBusLady · 21/01/2013 18:41

You are ready. What people including me who obsessively prepare everything in every detail don't really understand is that other people have not prepared as well. I'm not saying you'll definitely get the job or anything, but I bet you've already cared far more about it and thought it through far more carefully than most of the other applicants - even to the point of what to wear in the snow (which is very sensible). Even you having a bad day tomorrow is going to be better than some of the other applicants' best shot.

One psychological trick I've played sometimes is to mentally give myself a point for every thing I say/do that's normal/ok - from walking in and shaking hands onwards. Each ten seconds you spend being ok is another building block to a successful conversation/encounter. That way you are mentally building something up rather than failing to attain a pre-set standard IYSWIM.

Also, remember they're wanting you to be successful - it would be their dream scenario if one person was clearly head and shoulders above the rest, and the decision was easy. In that sense, they're on your side.

thebody · 21/01/2013 18:41

You know what as well if you do shake a little so what.

Most of your audience will feel sympathetic and warm to you. Very confident strident people can be very off putting as can be seen as confrontational and domineering!!

Let us know how it goes tomorrow won't you? Good luck xx

gobbin · 21/01/2013 18:44

Just constantly tell yourself during the interview itself "This job is MINE, and I can do this! I rock!"

Don't be afriad to ask for a question to be repeated or to have something clarified - better that than a weak answer because you weren't sure.

Try to give examples of how the skills you have enabled you cope with your previous job, including being a SAHM such as organisational ability, multi-tasking. I managed to work into my last job interview the fact that I'm a bellringer who can make lace, play the violin, ride motorbikes and drive lorries, on the basis that these skills all bring me into contact with very varied personality types from different social circles and means I can pretty much talk to and engage with anyone.

Good questions at the end for you to ask are things like "What opportunities are there for promotion / further training with this job?

MadBusLady · 21/01/2013 18:56

Just constantly tell yourself during the interview itself "This job is MINE, and I can do this! I rock!"

This would make me freak out Grin I have in the past told myself "This is only a mock presentation, it doesn't matter if I mess it up" and the lack of pressure meant I did really well.

Sunnywithshowers · 21/01/2013 19:12

In the past I've recruited staff to my team. Two points that might help:

  1. The interview is a 2 way process. You are interviewing them too :)
  1. Interviewers also get nervous (well, I did).

It sounds like you're preparing really well - good luck! x

Molehillmountain · 21/01/2013 19:18

I think it might be a sign you're ready for it. I have no basis for this except its how i was the night before my finals-a gibbering wreck telling my dad on the phone I knew nothing and would fail and having probs breathing. I got my 2:1. You'll be great

Ilovebagsandbruuuce · 21/01/2013 19:38

Lots of good tips here - yes members of the interview panel also get nervous and you're interviewing them as they are interviewing you.

BEST advice to calm the nerves beforehand - SING VERY LOUD to your favourite songs on the way in the car (if you're driving), great way to burn nervous energy. I was told to do this for my last interview and it did help. I visibly shake when nervous and my voice goes funny but i went in confident and stayed that way. Good luck!

Ilovesunflowers · 21/01/2013 19:39

God I feel for you. This time last year I was going through the same thing. I couldn't even speak up in a staff meeting and suddenly I had to do a presentation for an interview for my dream job. I wanted it so desperately. I felt so sick the night before. I was shaky and sweaty and felt awful.

I GOT THE JOB! I couldn't believe it. They said my presentation was great. I felt like I was so nervous that they'd think I was too nervous. I was clearly wrong. They loved me!

You'll be fine. Go for it!

Whiteshoes · 21/01/2013 19:46

Loads of excellent advice. Just on panic attacks, I would say if you feel really bad, breath in for a count of five, hold for five, breath out for five. It helped me enormously when I had real panic attacks.

Original poster
Canihavesomemore · 21/01/2013 19:55

I am really taken aback by all the lovely comments and great advice here! Thank you so much!!! I will read this tonight again and once more before I walk in because it's calmed me down a lot! I'll let u know how it goes- Ofcourse they will love me Wink (I'm trying)

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