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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my babysitter is a greedy pig?

247 replies

HeartsAreEveryWhere · 21/01/2013 16:53

So I went out with DH on Saturday night and my friends 15 year old babysat for us.

Came back about 1am and thanked her and DH drove her home. Decided to make a cup of tea how rock n' roll and noticed that she had eaten half of a victoria sponge cake, a whole block of cheddar had gone and she had drunk half a litre of diet coke.

I did say help yourself to food. But surely this is taking the piss?

OP posts:
Original poster
HeartsAreEveryWhere · 21/01/2013 22:42

I can't imagine it's that different from any other ordinary night Dizzy - she had a tv, free internet, iPad and there are a couple of game consoles too, also I have magazines there too.

I can't see how that night could have been anymore boring than just an ordinary night tbh.

OP posts:
MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 22:42

Apocalypse maybe she would be hurt but she has bad manners...she behaved quite badly imo. To eat ALL the cheese is just rude. It is greedy to eat all of something in someone else's fridge.

Devora · 21/01/2013 22:44

Would have seemed like a normal night's babysitting to me at that age [stares dubiously at backside, product of a lifetime treating blocks of cheese as a light snack].

I'm a bit put off by posters asking if she's fat or thin. Why the hell are you asking? What would you deduce from that? Oh, and please please don't say anything to the mum. OF COURSE she'll tell off her daughter, who will be mortified in that devastating way that can crush you at 15. Just let it go: it's only a bit of cheese and cake.

MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 22:44

Sasha I'm Shock that you think it's normal for a teenager to take something like "Help yourself" at face value. Don't people teach their DC basic manners??

Unless a child had some kind of ASD I would assume that at 15 it means "Within reason"

Not ALL of it.

littlemisssarcastic · 21/01/2013 22:45

So how much cheese was there? By not saying, I imagine it was one of them cheddar bricks, you know the ones the size of a matchbox. Grin

DizzyZebra · 21/01/2013 22:45

I should hope that if the 15 year old knew about this thread, she would be mortified and try to make it up to OP by being extra considerate next time

At 15, I certainly wouldn't have been doing that. I might have plastered the fact she'd called me a greedy pig everywhere and laid on thick about how much my feelings were hurt.

MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 22:46

A whole block of cheese is not a normal snack. It's excessive and greedy.

Yes teenagers eat a lot...yes they get hungry...but that's no excuse for being grabby.

ApocalypseThen · 21/01/2013 22:46

She's 15, MrsMushroom! She was told to help herself and she did. I'm not saying that she didn't eat plenty, but on the other hand, if 15 year olds have a reputation for perfect judgement, I'm not aware of it.

It's a bit of food. Calling her a greedy pig is too much in my opinion.

Feelingood · 21/01/2013 22:46

So she and spaghetti with some cheese one....

Then possibly three house later she snaffled somematesers n cake.

Considering the time no much. Maybe you a bit bird like.

Peck peck...

MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 22:48

I know she's 15 Apocalypse but that's not very young...it's young but not a child really. Kids of that age should know not to indulge their greed in other peoples fridges.

We ALL overeat at sometime....all of us have eaten too many crisps etc...but I don't think it's ok to assume that a 15 year old doesn't have enough judgement to hold back a bit when it's someone elses home.

TheCraicDealer · 21/01/2013 22:48

I'm imagining you constantly updating the thread littlemiss and shouting, "HOW MUCH FUCKING CHEESE WAS THERE?!"

thehappycat · 21/01/2013 22:48

boy that is greedy. when I used to babysit I used to feel mortified at taking a bag of crisps and a biscuit.
I agree with the leaving the tray out approach.
YANBU to object.

MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 22:48

Feeling nobody puts an entire block of cheese on their pasta!

MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 22:50

happyccat* it IS greedy isn't it? It's having ALL of what's there...that's just not nice. I was taught to share...leave something for others. Unless it was the last biscuit or whatever.

You just don't eat a whole packet of cheese....unless it's your own and you've a strong stomach.

Hobbitation · 21/01/2013 22:50

I wouldn't have eaten the cheese but would have had a big chunk of cake and probably a few glasses of coke at that age. I was an only child and allowed to eat what I wanted at home, there was always loads of food and I didn't have to think about sharing, my parents never seemed to run out of anything.

I still (at 37) have to really consciously think now "What is an acceptable amount to take?" when food is being shared out/you help yourself from the middle of the table.

Hobbitation · 21/01/2013 22:51

I was never taught the concept of greediness by my parents, you just ate what you wanted to eat, that was it.

MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 22:55

Hobbit perhaps some people didn't grow up with as much food in the fridge as you did. Perhaps some people can afford to buy ONE packet of cheese a week and if the Dc "jut ate what they wanted" then nobody else would have any.

SashaSashays · 21/01/2013 23:01

MrsMushroom you are of course implying I don't teach my children manners. I obviously do. I can guarantee a similar type conversation with DS though

Me: Did you eat any of their food?
DS : Yes x, y and a pack of Z
Me: You can't just tuck in to all someone's food like that
DS: its fine she said help yourself
Me: yes but she didn't mean eat an entire pack of Z
DS: honestly its fine, she's really nice and she said it sincerely. She's a mum she would have told me not to eat things if she didn't want me to
Me: she didn't mean eat all that though
DS: but she said it was fine?!!!!!
Me: but when someone says that they're just being polite they don't mean act like you do at home
DS: then she shouldn't have said it!

Most teenagers are not that versed in the subtle nuances of British manners. They still think 'with respect' means just that and same can e said for help yourself.

DS probably has a similar view Hobbitation, he's allowed what he wants.

Don't be such a whinge and tell on her to her mother (because that is how she will view it). Lesson learned, next time there is a tray.

Hobbitation · 21/01/2013 23:04

Yes of course MrsM - we weren't well off, but there was only me so there was more to be spent on me - I wasn't saying having a lack of awareness of what might be considered by others as greedy was a good thing, but that some people learn life skills earlier than others, even those that others may deem pretty basic, and some things are not learned until adulthood (if at all).

If someone is paying for a babysitter and a night out, it doesn't suggest to me that they are down to their last block of cheese...but anyway, I agree eating a whole block of cheese at someone else's house is a bit off, even for a teenager, the rest, not so much.

But if someone did and was otherwise ok as a babysitter it wouldn't bother me. If I knew someone had a tendency to raid the fridge though and leave me without essentials, next time I'd specify what I'd provided for them and not say "Help yourself".

Flatbread · 21/01/2013 23:07

Sasha, at what age do you think your son will learn about appropriate social norms and gracious behaviour?

E.g., if there is unlimited soda and coffee/tea at the workplace will he gorge himself till someone officially reprimands him...because he has no clue about boundaries till they are clearly drawn?

MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 23:07

sasha no....I'm not doing any such thing. I don't know you or your DC.

However....I WOULD expect a child of 15 to have enough self control not to eat ALL of anything.

I teach mine not to eat the whole pack of biscuits...or the entire cake....because that's just bad food management in terms of their health and my pockets!

I would think that any child who is allowed to consume whole packs of cheese as routine, is not going to be great hen they get into a house share at Uni.

littlemisssarcastic · 21/01/2013 23:08

Good idea thecraicdealer Grin

MrsMushroom · 21/01/2013 23:09

Flat exactly. in three years, your son Sasha will be at University or in the workplace.

How will he know not to scoff all the cakes at the meeting? Or all the takeaway when the housemates have a night in?

littlemisssarcastic · 21/01/2013 23:09

SO HAVE WE WORKED OUT HOW MUCH FUCKING CHEESE THERE WAS YET??

Hobbitation · 21/01/2013 23:11

Not everyone goes to Uni, MrsMushroom...

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