to think there is rarely a good reason to look at your partners phone.

[HintsOfRain]

I never look at my husbands phone, and he never looks at mine. I trust him enough to believe that he's not texting a secret lover and I wouldn't particularly want him looking at the texts between me and my friends.

If his phone goes off and he's not in the room I still wouldn't look at it. I would just tell him when he came back in, and if it rang I wouldn't answer it either.

I really don't think there is a good reason for reading your partners texts/answering calls.

I don't think it matters,tbh. I wouldn't care if dh answered my phone or opened my post or looked in my handbag for something. I'd be more pissed off at missing an important call or seeing a letter when it was too late to deal with whatever needed doing because no one had opened it during working hours.

I also think that if someone has a history of dodgy behaviour then it is only sensible for their spouse to periodically check up on them, in order to protect themselves from being screwed over again. It might well be that the relationship has already turned to shit by that point, but sometimes there are very good reasons why people don't leave such a relationship.

I guess different people have different boundaries and the important thing is that a couple have the same ones.

In fact, I'm going to stick my neck out & disagree with you. If you trust your partner & don't think he's texting a secret ex then you probably wouldn't even want to look at his phone. If you have a partner behaving suspiciously enough to make you want to look at the phone then take a look - I bet most people who have done this have had their suspicions confirmed & not regretted it one bit - who cares if you're invading his privacy if the reason he needs privacy is he's a cheating bastard. X

DP has an iphone which I hate and I have a blackberry which he hates so we rarely use each others phones but they are usually left laying around either on the coffee table or kitchen side so either of us could look at each others if we wanted.

If DP got a text and I was close enough to see who it was id look just so I could say xx has just text you, he would probably ask me to read it to him if we were in seperate rooms but other than that it wouldnt occur to me to read his texts

If hes phone rings and its dsd or mil I will answer but anyone else can wait 5mins till dp can call them back

YABU because you are implying everyone should have the same idea of appropriate privacy as you do and the same idea of a phone as a private device. But there is no "right" way to think about privacy. It's culturally created. It's only a problem if your own ideas clash with your partners.

I don't look at my partners phone, he doesn't look at mine. That's partly because we're always using them so there's little opportunity. If my DH looked at my phone as a matter of course just to be nosey I wouldn't have a problem with that (could be handy, would stop me having to tell him a ton of stuff), but I have low privacy boundaries.

I dont get why you wouldnt answer calls.I would want him to so I didnt miss the call.

I wouldn't go snooping about his phone, but if I saw a text coming in he'd usually ask me to read it. If it rang and I knew the caller I'd answer it - he'd think it was odd if I didn't

Wouldn't answer if I didn't recognise the number though.

I don't think a missed call is that much of a problem. You know who's rang and you can easily call them back.

If it was that important they would keep on ringing and then it would be obvious.

Its no different to answering the landline though to me.

I looked at OH's phone this morning to see if childcare had messaged him that they were closed, as they hadn't phoned our landline, e-mailed or texted me. They were closed, and I couldn't believe that they hadn't bothered to get in touch with either of us to tell us.

I get up before OH and I certainly didn't take the opportunity to "snoop", why would I?

I'm still cross with the nursery though.

My kids check my phone for me

Especially in the car and they send texts for me

DH and I read each others texts all the time.

We are both nosey and it's kind of a short hand way of knowing the gossip that we then chat about eg 'I see Caths DS had an appendicitis' or 'are we going to go to that ball simons arranging' etc.

Neither of us has anything private or anything we wouldn't discuss with the other on our phone so no need to keep it private or a secret.

DH, DCs, whoever is closest when phone goes off gets it.

Nothing to hide, so not bothered who reads what.

Same passwords for everything here, so we can each access whatever we may need.

Not snooping at all as DH has express permission (?) to access/look at whatever he wants on my phone/pc/iPad/whatever. As do I on his.

Isn't this usual for married couples?

It's never occurred to me to look at DP's phone. But I'd use it if I needed to and the same goes for mine. To be honest, it's enough to deal with my own calls and emails and not act as his secretary. Or a private detective for that matter.

We is DH and me. Would never occur to me that we couldn't answer each other's phone tbh. Its not like whoever speaks to the answerer could possibly think we were the other person when FiL answered DH's phone otoh, that was embarrassing