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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to be furious with dh for eating cakes he knew were destined for the bin!

999 replies

alfrex · 21/01/2013 14:57

OK. I bake a lot. And sometimes my cakes are beautiful, and we all enjoy them. But sometimes it does not go so well and the cakes come out sunk or burnt or still wet in the middle (if dh would get the fan fixed on the oven this would happen a lot less often, but that's another thread)

There is a system, dh and the children are well aware of it. If the cakes are good to eat, they either go in a freezer bag for later use, or in a sealed tin for use over the week, or on a plate on the side so that they can be eaten now. DH knows this and I never complain about him "sampling" even if th cakes are meant for after dinner or whatever. I bake a lot so there is usually something there if he fancies a nibble.

If the cakes are not up to scratch, they go in the bin as soon as they are cooled (or as soon as dh empties the bin - there's another thread there!)

so this morning dh saunters into the kitchen to get himself breakfast. I come in and find him cramming his mouth with the burnt, crappy cakes that were sitting in the bun tray by the bin. I was really pissed off and had a go at him for it. I can make really nice cakes and I make plenty of them, so he has no need to wind me up and embarrass me by eating the ones that have gone wrong. He know it is a pet hate of mine.

so he strops off to work having called me a "control freak" in front of our children who were sitting having their breakfast. I am Not Happy.

OP posts:
Southeastdweller · 21/01/2013 19:19

This is what you worry about? I wouldn't mind having this problem.

Foggles · 21/01/2013 19:22

I really want to hear from Mr alfrex and get his side of the story.

akaemmafrost · 21/01/2013 19:22

I can't be arsed to read the whole thread. Is this for real? Can anyone give me a synopsis please?

OxfordBags · 21/01/2013 19:24

It's eating a lot of burnt or barbecued meat that can be bad for you (something to do with the burnt meat and carcinogens). Is that where you went wrong, OP? Using beef dripping instead of Stork?

I often worried about what happened to Ronnie Corbett's character in 'Sorry' after the series ended. But now I know he just married a woman in the shape of his mother; alfrex.

For a control freak, your lack of capital letter at the start of your name is a disgrace.

Also, how can you regularly ruin cakes?! The last time I botched one I was still at school!

I have an image of the OP's husband rifling through the kids' lunchboxes at his school like a feral fox, desperate to get his hands on some slightly imperfect baking to slam down his craw...

PS V pissed off my first comment was deleted. Was mild compared to many left standing, harumph!

EnjoyResponsibly · 21/01/2013 19:24

I've got to page 13. I have to keep stopping as I have actual tears.

OP could it be all more of your baking is less good than you thought and DH can't even tell the difference.

PacificDogwood · 21/01/2013 19:27

Foggles, I am not sure that MrAlfrex has interweb access - I am sure his allowed hour today will be up Grin.

Foggles · 21/01/2013 19:28

I hope he didn't leave any cake crumbs in the keyboard Grin

PacificDogwood · 21/01/2013 19:29

King Alfred and burnt cakes, I kid you not!

EuphemiaLennox · 21/01/2013 19:29

If a woman came on here saying, my DH told me off for eating something he thinks I shouldn't. He likes to have 'systems' which he insists I and the children stick to and he gets furious if we slightly deviate form this in insignificant ways.

I know he'll still be angry about this when I go home tonight and won't let it go until I show I am really sorry. I'll try to do everything just how he likes it tonight, and will show om how sorry i am, even though i think he totally overeacted, just so that the unpleasntness will go.

I feel like he's a control freak, but it's easier to go along with what he wants.

He feels that certain tasks are women's tasks and refuses to do them and gets annoyed if I don't do them properly, or quickly enough, but he won't do them himself.

He is obsessed with my diet and ensuring that I don't get fat, so carefully plans and monitors everything I eat.

He says he does all this because he loves me and just wants to take of me, but I just feel he's controlling....

What would we say?

I admit this thread seems hilarious but actually if you consider what the OPs said, maybe not quite so funny after all. And she's not hearing anyone.

diavlo · 21/01/2013 19:30

OP, I don't really understand why you asked your question if you had no intention of taking anything on board?

IMHO I think you are being way too precious, though we should be pleasd for you that you have so few worries that you are upset by this!

If I wasn't so well mannered I would tell you that you're a loon, but let's just leave it at YABU.

CoolaSchmoola · 21/01/2013 19:30

I'm guessing that the 'everyone' who thinks that you are a 'good baker' are completely unaware that you throw out vast amounts of condemned cake to achieve a good one.

That doesn't make you a good baker! Good bakers don't need to throw various attempts out because good bakers get it right.

PacificDogwood · 21/01/2013 19:31

Or are these your cakes, OP? in which case YANBU and your DH may have pica

OcotoAlert · 21/01/2013 19:33

Pacific - do you think this could be A possible homepage for any husbands who like burnt cake and have limited time to search the www?

PacificDogwood · 21/01/2013 19:33

Euphemia, I agree with you.
Amongst all the levity there are ishoos here.
I am not sure who you posted on 'AIBU?', alfrex, if you were not prepared to take on board what the overwhelming majority of posters are saying?
And I really, really tried to see your side of the story, but just cannot.

Casserole · 21/01/2013 19:34

This is so weird.
Oh OP, PLEASE come back and tell us it's a wind up.
Otherwise I am really quite sad for you.

PacificDogwood · 21/01/2013 19:36

Oh I love cakewrecks, Octo Grin - I hope every single of those lovingly made disasters cakes found grateful and appreciative mouths and tummies to enjoy them!

alfrex, do you think your DH ate those cakes to spite you, or because he actually enjoyed them? You know, enjoyment. Like the enjoyment of baking - oh no, maybe you don't know that. It's perfection or nothing.

GeraldineAubergine · 21/01/2013 19:37

I have just had to cut my partners hand off as he made to take a sneaky bite of my deflated soufflé.

Foggles · 21/01/2013 19:38

This thread is the best antidote to Blue Monday I have ever seen Grin

amillionyears · 21/01/2013 19:41

Hi alfrex.
Can I ask, what happens to you and/or your husband if you do not bake cakes?

PacificDogwood · 21/01/2013 19:41

570 posts in just over 3.5 hours - good going!
I think it beat the 'early baby' thread Grin

VivaLeBeaver · 21/01/2013 19:42

Thankyou OP for this thread.

Its made DH realise while MN is so much fun. So maybe he'll stop moaning that I spend so much time on here.

Foggles · 21/01/2013 19:42

I keep expecting to see it has been deleted with a message from MNHQ saying "Thread deleted because it turned into a burnt bunfight"

ipswichwitch · 21/01/2013 19:46

Good grief woman, if you're "managing" your DHs diet then no wonder the poor bugger seized the opportunity to stuff his face with condemned cake. Maybe he can relate to it?
Nobody ever got ill from eating some mildly charred buns, seriously, don't sweat the small stuff.
Now will you all stop talking about cake, I'm trying to diet here

Iamwithyou · 21/01/2013 19:47

No my dh is most definately not "hen-pecked" or a "manchild". He is a geography teacher.

I know it's already been said, but this made me laugh out loud.

I'm sorry you feel you have been hard done by on this thread op but please have these for being so entertaining this evening Flowers

amillionyears · 21/01/2013 19:47

The op has said 3 times that her DH embarassed her, by eating the cakes.
I think she is genuine. I think somehow, she has felt humiliated by him.

I personally would feel chuffed. But she does not.

Are there other things that he does, that humiliates you,when he shows up what you think are weaknesses of yours?

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