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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not take DC1 into school?

61 replies

ruledbyheart · 21/01/2013 12:44

Just got of the phone to DC1 school after telling them he wont be in and now feeling like a naughty child because all they say is a if their staff can get in so should all students and it will be marked an unauthorized absence.

I have 3 DC under 5 years old and I am 9 weeks pregnant which is high risk, I live almost two miles away from the school (out of catchment but no spaces closer) and dont feel its safe enough to walk the distance with 4" of snow and ice.

I would have no problem with him going in if transport was provided or if I had my car but neither is possible as DP is away on a course and the school doesn't provide transport unless over two miles and I cannot afford taxis to and from at £5 one way.

Out of 11 local schools only 4 are open anyway two just for exams.

AIBU unreasonable to keep him home until I can either safely drive him or until its safe enough to walk?

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 21/01/2013 12:47

Let them mark it down however they like - what do you think actually happens when they mark it down?

I don't think many people would walk 2 miles to get their kids to school in the snow except on MN

BuntyPenfold · 21/01/2013 12:47

YANBU and I'm surprised at the school's inflexible attitude.

LizzieVereker · 21/01/2013 12:47

Given all your circumstances YANBU. Your DS won't be the only one absent today. Don't worry.

Floralnomad · 21/01/2013 12:48

YABU but its your choice , the school has no alternative but to put it down as unauthorised . Your personal circumstances are not the concern of the school , the educating of your child is .

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 21/01/2013 12:49

if he is under five he doesnt have to there legally.

BuntyPenfold · 21/01/2013 12:50

If it bothers you, next time just say he's poorly.

Patchouli · 21/01/2013 12:50

yanbu
It's your call.

I've kept DD off today. I've struggled in in the past, only to get there and the teacher not be in, they apparently spent the day doing golden time - like activities. I said then I wasn't going to do that again.
It was a tricky call this morning and as it's turned out our road's much clearer now.

valiumredhead · 21/01/2013 12:51

Oh yes, under 5 and he doesn't even have to be legally there!

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 21/01/2013 12:53

I told them I will try and get him in tomorrow but I have a hospital appointment and have no idea when I will be back as need tests and trials for clotting injections, im getting a lift for that but have had to beg to arrange that too, DP not back until Wednesday night.
I have no friends or family that would help and my other two DC also have school in the complete opposite direction for the same time.
Could sit and cry.

OP posts:

MadameCastafiore · 21/01/2013 12:54

God no you are not being unreasonable. Dd is at home because her school shut but I kept DS at home because the 10 minute journey takes 45 minutes over icy country lanes in the snow.

I have been in one fatal accident in my life and I don't intend being in another because some administrator rules that today's absence is unauthorised!

Stay at home and be safe.

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 21/01/2013 12:54

Apparently once a child starts at school they legally have to be there regardless of age.

OP posts:

Cherriesarelovely · 21/01/2013 12:54

Really don't worry. The school are being pathetic. Our headteacher would say nothing of the sort. At the end of the day if you cannot get there safely then don't push it, let them mark it down as an UA, it doesn't sound as if you are constantly trying to find reasons for not bringing himto school.

bigsista00 · 21/01/2013 12:55

I did the same this morning... Even though we are only 10mins walk! 6 months pg with spd and a rotten cold, i called and told the school im not going out! The attendance woman told me to take care and get well soon

To be fair though, this is the school nursery so not 'compulsory education' even though it is in a school and they take a register, so may account for the pleasant response...

valiumredhead · 21/01/2013 12:57

Now you know how infexible they are - next time just ring up and tell them dc is sick.

valiumredhead · 21/01/2013 12:57

inflexible

seeker · 21/01/2013 13:01

My ds's school is open, but didn't fancy driving on the icy roads, so I rang in. They were fine about it.

I would have a word with the Head Teacher about some retraining for the school receptionist.

katykuns · 21/01/2013 13:02

You have to wrack up a lot of UA to get in any trouble. Don't let it bother you. Especially if you are in a place with a fair it of snow... the dvice on the news is not to leave the house/drive a car unless really necessary. We haven't taken DD in, and only are about 10 mins away. Until they start gritting/clearing snow off pavements, I think parents should have the right to not take their children to school tbh.

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 21/01/2013 13:03

Yanbu,, my school decided at 6am to close as we had over 5" of snow on top of the ice and existing snow etc and we are very rural, they are only open for the 2 exams using local staff.

All the local schools except my ds primary are closed and my ds school is open for 4 hours, no breakfast club or after school club (so that was my childcare screwed if my school had been open!!).
I called and told them I wasn't bringing him in, I didn't want to drive and it's a 40 min walk on tiny footpaths next to an Ungritted road when there is no snow so I guess over an hour in the snow.

Also I broke my ankle last yr an have no desire to repeat it.

If you don't think is safe then you don't go. Unauthorised absences happen all the time, don't worry about it! That's what gets marked down when ppl take kids on holiday in term time.

Hope you have a fun day in the snow :)

diddl · 21/01/2013 13:04

I´m in Germany & when the decision is taken to close, then all the schools in the county close & it´s obviously not taken lightly.

However-get this-parents may also use their own judgement

NaturalBaby · 21/01/2013 13:05

You have 3 Dc under 5, you are pregnant, your DH is away on a course, you have no car.....
I have 3 dc's under 5 and can just about cope with things! Put your feet up, put the t.v on and have a cup of tea!

scaevola · 21/01/2013 13:05

Don't say your DC is sick if they're not: they may not be able to sustain the lie when they return.

I suggest you just do your best to shrug it off.

everlong · 21/01/2013 13:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 21/01/2013 13:09

Yanbu. U can't safely make it. End of!! Sure u can play and read a book quite happily at home! I wish I'd done sane thing given how awkward the school run was. I rely on public transport half of which isn't running.

diddl · 21/01/2013 13:12

Sorry, what I posted didn´t make a lot of sense.

When school is open & there is snow/ice-it´s ultimately up to the parents whether or not children attend.

freddiefrog · 21/01/2013 13:14

YANBU

Mine have gone in, school is open, we live a 2 minute walk away and roads here are clear.

However, we have a large rural and very hilly catchment and it isn't so easy or safe for others to get there so school have simply said we are open, if you can get here safely we'd love to see you, if you can't, no worries.

No threats of unauthorised absence, no moaning or guilt tripping.

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