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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not take DC1 into school?

61 replies

ruledbyheart · 21/01/2013 12:44

Just got of the phone to DC1 school after telling them he wont be in and now feeling like a naughty child because all they say is a if their staff can get in so should all students and it will be marked an unauthorized absence.

I have 3 DC under 5 years old and I am 9 weeks pregnant which is high risk, I live almost two miles away from the school (out of catchment but no spaces closer) and dont feel its safe enough to walk the distance with 4" of snow and ice.

I would have no problem with him going in if transport was provided or if I had my car but neither is possible as DP is away on a course and the school doesn't provide transport unless over two miles and I cannot afford taxis to and from at £5 one way.

Out of 11 local schools only 4 are open anyway two just for exams.

AIBU unreasonable to keep him home until I can either safely drive him or until its safe enough to walk?

OP posts:
RooneyMara · 21/01/2013 13:14

Yanbu. Snow changes the rules imo.

What is possible with 3 small children, a DP around and being high-risk-pregnant on a normal day is just No Way on a day when it's snowed.

We've a walk of 1.7 miles and can't get the car out, I'm no longer pg thank God but still have SPD and a 2wk old baby to carry in a sling. I also feel like a naughty child telling the school this. But really, it's tough.

No one is going to suffer if my children have a day at home. I do hope it's melted a bit by tomorrow though as I'll feel even worse keeping them off for TWO days!

Take care OP and good luck with the clotting thing x

valiumredhead · 21/01/2013 13:16

I wonder what they mark it down as when the school is closed because the teachers can't get in? I wonder if we can ring up and demand they come in Wink

RooneyMara · 21/01/2013 13:16

Also, I know they will be playing outside in the snow at school with nothing to change into - and whatever work they do will be minimal anyway. I don't want to walk 5-6 miles today carrying a tiny baby on the ice, just for my children to do colouring in all day. It just isn't worth it.

millie30 · 21/01/2013 13:48

YANBU, my DS' school is closed today but if it hadn't been I would have rung in. I suffer with knee problems and get quite scared on the ice and don't fancy a 2 mile walk. I'm also a lone parent and so if I end up with my leg in plaster (which has happened twice before!) I'm stuck because I've got no one to help me. Just relax and enjoy your day!

notactuallyme · 21/01/2013 13:56

Is it just the snow, or can you not manage the school run when dp is away? Because it might be a good time to try to find out about help, or school mums who could be called on? Btw, school don't supply transport, the local authority do, altho the two mile rule is right for primary (three for secondary iirc). If its ongoing, could you try speaking to the la?

dikkertjedap · 21/01/2013 14:02

Rooneymare and whatever work they do will be minimal anyway Hmm

What a lovely attitude, I am sure your kids will do well at school.

OP you have to do what you consider best as it is ultimately your responsibility. However, what will you do for the rest of the week? Surely, there is a point you simply have to bite the bullet unless it suddenly starts to thaw, which it may, or may not.

lljkk · 21/01/2013 14:03

I dunno, I am on the fence.
Half of me thinks You've got to take responsibility for your situation and find a way.
The other half thinks your school age DC is under 5 so I would probably phone him in sick and thumb my nose at school if they didn't like it.

But we could have ice for weeks, you need a better solution.

Original poster
ruledbyheart · 21/01/2013 14:06

Notactuallyme if it wasn't for the snow and ice I could walk the journey and do regularly if I cant use the car.

I spoke to LA about transport and got told because of the distance it would cost me £160 per term which is completely unaffordable.

Just hope I can get him in tomorrow as well as the other two DC in preschool as I wont be able to make my appointment otherwise, no room in lifts car and have to have needles etc so wouldn't know what to do with them.

OP posts:
Original poster
ruledbyheart · 21/01/2013 14:08

Just need to get through until Thursday as will have the car back then if its not clear enough for me to walk him in.

OP posts:
RooneyMara · 21/01/2013 14:12

'Rooneymare and whatever work they do will be minimal anyway

What a lovely attitude, I am sure your kids will do well at school.'

Dikkert what you on about? I don't understand.

I meant that they usually don't do much work on a day when loads of people are off due to the snow, so they won't be missing anything too important if they stay at home.

Why do you feel the need to insult my attitude over saying that?

LittleAbruzzenBear · 21/01/2013 14:14

YANBU. We didn't go in either. DS1 is in reception year. The roads aren't too bad, but we don't have a car and live a 30min walk away. I also have DS2 and the pram to look after. People are walking on the roads because the pavements are unsafe. This is not something I am willing to do on busy roads.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 21/01/2013 14:21

rooney know what you mean :) Friday half the teachers had left early and they were all in one room just doing what they wanted quietly. Some had left already. Wasn't teachers being lazy it was just so they could get back safe and the kids were all very happy and quietly getting in with their chosen activity! Kids who didn't get in wouldn't have missed much :)

LittleAbruzzenBear · 21/01/2013 14:21

If we all cleared the pavement outside our houses without fear of reprisal/being sued then this would help those of us that don't have cars. DH lived in Germany for two years and it was the law there to clear the path outside your residence (that was in 1998 so presume it still stands). If this is the kind of weather all of the UK is going to start getting i.e. more than the odd day of snow, then perhaps this needs looking at. I'm sure it's what people used to do in the past in Britain without being sued. I just cleared my path and driveway. It's bloody hard, but if we all did it and helped any elderly neighbours....well, it's just community and all that.

Karoleann · 21/01/2013 14:25

YANBU, we haven't gone in today, our road isn't safe (private road on hill) and I'm not risking it.
I'd be tempted to write in a snotty letter if they do write it down as an UA.

RooneyMara · 21/01/2013 14:36

Thanks caffeine Smile I was worried for a minute, I didn't mean anything by it.

Little, yes, you're right - but where do you put the snow?!!

I find this problem every year when I clear our drive.

Today both our neighbours we share the drive with have knocked asking to borrow my shovel. It's normally my job but my baby is too small to be left for long enough to do it and I'm too knackered anyway.

I handed over a broom and some grit/salt I bought last year.

LittleAbruzzenBear · 21/01/2013 14:50

I've been piling the snow on the front lawn - it looks a right mess! I guess you put the snow anywhere that's out of the way, although if your house is directly on the pavement then this would be harder. I have been in and out of the house like a yo-yo as DS2 is 6 months. DS1, 4YO, bangs on the window when DS2 wakes up and I dash back in to the house.

hoodoo12345 · 21/01/2013 14:52

My Ds's live 2 miles from school, my DD 3 miles but i always take them/send them in, sometimes i grumble and consider not but i always end up taking them anyway.
It has annoyed me today after trudging through the snow to get them there to find out EVERY other school in the area is shut, cue more grumblingSmile
However if i had very little children or was pregnant i definitely would of stopped at home, so YANBU.

RooneyMara · 21/01/2013 14:54

Oh gosh Little Smile I remember that phase when ds1 and 2 were small!!! It's so frustrating isn't it.

our drive goes onto the pavement and then the road, there's no lawn or anywhere else so I have to pile it up by the wall.

I'm still in a post-birth haze at the moment so not too bothered that I can't get out there Smile I will have to feed the chickens in a minute though.

liveinazoo · 21/01/2013 14:57

my dcs are 8,7 and 5 and if school had been oopen i wasnt intending to take them in as we live halfway up a hill that doesnt get gritted and our side road gets no sun.had over 10cm across past 3 days adn its compacted with ice then snowed on top.i dont give a monkeys what school says they are MY kids and i will decide if we can get there safely
as it happens the school decided not to open today but i shall make a decision about tomorrow ,if theya re open,and stick to it!

whiteflame · 21/01/2013 15:04

LittleAbruzzenBear, I am in Switzerland and clearing your path is the law here too, I think. Everyone clears their path at least... I was wondering what happens if you are away on holiday or something. Are you supposed to ask your neighbours to do it while you're gone??

happynewmind · 21/01/2013 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 21/01/2013 15:24

Well it makes sense, doesn´t it?

That you have by accepting a place, entered into an agreement to send your child Mon-Fri 9-3, or whatever the hrs are?

Susan2kids · 21/01/2013 15:39

Id say yes you are potentially unreasonable if you keep you child off, four inches of snow is not difficult or a death trap nor is two miles far. Unless you live on particularly steep hills (which you may). Being nine weeks pregnant does not make you fragile. However if you want to damage your childs education then its your choice

valiumredhead · 21/01/2013 15:44

The school is 2 miles away, that is a 8 mile school run there and back for the OP in the snow. I do not believe for one minute you would do that susan so stop spouting crap about damaging a four year old's education!

valiumredhead · 21/01/2013 15:44

And at 9 weeks pregnant I felt rougher than I did at 30 weeks.