To love a good supermarket scrap thread?

[BupcakesAndCunting]

There have been some good ones this week, what with the snow turning everyone rabid and that.

Tell Aunty Bupcakes your best supermarket scrap threads. I loves 'em I do.

and

I have a Budgens at the end of my road and a coop the next road over we always use Budgens for top up shops as they are cheaper, the choices are better and the staff are lovely

I used to buy Admiral pies :D Bargain! Fish and mash for only 99p!

I remember when ALL frozen ready meals were vomit in a cardboard box and nobody would dare eat them. Things changed a lot. Now you have an entire aisle in both the frozen and fresh sections full of ready meals.

Over here in Sweden, there have approximately 5-10 ready meals in total and all of them are made by Findus.

In fact, over here, Findus are treated like quality grocers and only the posh buy their stuff!

Oh sorry, I forgot, they do have other 'ready meals' in the form of smorgastorta (cba to do all the proper letters) which is basically a huge prawn cocktail in the shape of a cake, layered with bread. It costs about £9 for a portion, I shit you not. I don't know how they make money.

I've been racking my brains all day and I've finally thought of one !

It was the one and only time I ever went to Tesco's in Pitsea on Xmas Eve . At the time it was apparently the biggest one in Britain , or something similarly boastful . Well . It took two hours to get into the car park and parked , and was the seventh circle of hell . All the trolleys were gone , to the degree that people were following others to their cars , waiting for them to unload , and then using their trolley . I'm walking from the car park to the store , when a woman says 'Here you go love , take this , there aren't any left'. As I smile , say thanks , and take the trolley , some bloke swoops on me from nowhere , snatches the trolley from my hands , and starts going into the shop . I shriek 'oi! WTF ? ' , he swings round and snarls ' fucking what ? Come get it ' at me , and I decide discretion is the better part of valour .

So gobsmacked am I and several people in the car park, that about 4 people then try and give me their trolleys, and I go into the shop , only to find myself having to follow Mr Trolley Robber round the place for the whole ordeal . With him glowering and gurning all the way round at me . I go to the checkout , only to find him still glaring at me and mouthing 'fuck you ' at the opposite till . Great . I ignore him, whilst he rushes to pay and get out in front of me . He does so , and I meander out of the front of the store , just in time to see him miss the dropped kerb completely , and push the hideously overweight and badly balanced trolley straight off the actual raised pavement . Whereupon the trolley wheel collapsed , and dumped the entire contents of his Christmas food all over the wet and filthy car park floor .

As I sailed past him , I said to him 'actually , fuck YOU '

And then ran like buggery to the car before he thumped me .

That's AMAZING! I bet you wanted to do the happy dance :-D

BupcakesAndCunting I remember Tandy very well. I had a Tandy phone that didn't work properly even though it was new. I took iot back to the shop but had no receipt. A replacement or refund was denied to me because "it's not ours". I couldn't believe it because it was one of Tandy's own and had its name all over it!

At that time, sit ins were popular with protesters so I sat in the shop for about 4 hours, refusing to leave until I had what I wanted. I said that I could come back with a banner hand made of cardboard and marker pen telling people about the service in Tandy's. I left with a brand new one. It was a good job it was a Saturday and I wasn't at work.

Presto! I actually worked at Presto first, then it evolved into a Safeway. Wow I thought Safeway was posh back then. The folly of youth, hey?
In my defence, I grew up in the middle of nowhere in Scotland. I'd never even heard of Waitrose, let alone actually visited one. I'd heard rumours of Booths, but thought it was all that famous northern (English) humour taking the piss out their varied diet vs. ours of pie, fried stuff and turnip.

Admirals Pie is only 75p in our Farmfoods.

I have one (supermarket story, not pie) from when I was a teenager. DM had sent me into Sainsbury's whilst she took DB to the toilets. I only had a small basket full, but an old lady pushed in front of me at the till, shoved my stuff back to make space for her shopping in front of mine, glared at me and barked "I'm old, I'm going to die sooner than you!". I just gaped at her!

My DF used to be a store manager for Fine Fare back in the 70s. One of his staff was always wearing his trousers at half mast in front of customers. This was back in the days when you could smoke in shops. DF waited til the guy was bending down into a freezer to restock it and tapped his fag ash right down the man's moon-grin.

The staff member wore a belt after that!

I've enjoyed this thread and hope it goes on for a few more pages. May I ask for a round of applause for BupcakesAndCunting for starting it?

Keep your hands together and not flailing about hitting others, please.

Boomerwang - I may have had an ersatz smorgastorta. A Swedish ex-colleague was in London and wanted to make a 'swedish delicacy' for another colleague's birthday. It was kind of a joke, as swedish colleague was known fondly for her insistence on stopping for fika (no issues with me there), and NEEDING a hot lunch at 12 prompt.

Anyhow, she worked us up into a frenzy of excitement about this 'treat', went to Tesco express and bought a load of ready-made sandwiches, plastered them prettily with mayo, and adorned with prawns. Ta-Da!

^bought ready-made sandwiches, plastered them prettily with mayo INTO THE SHAPE OF A CAKE, and adorned with prawns.

Am dying at "rock paper poo". Hahaha! :o

Bumps what's this other thread then?

BUPS! Friggin autocorrect.

Weeping at the Scottish diet of pie, fried things and turnip!

The one an only time I've been in Waitrose I was gobsmacked when I saw a teenage girl pick up some naan, and say, 'what about these mum?'

To which her mum replied, 'oh no, that bread is made by terrorists. It's probably got bombs in it.'

The daughter just put them back with a, 'oh yeah, you're probably right.'

Then they both carried on their shopping as f that wasn't the most bizarre ad racist thing to ever say about bread, ever.

As far as I could tell, it wasn't a joke, the mother was dead serious. What the hell kind of mindset must you be in to think fucking naans are bomb-laden, terrorist bread?

Ok, got visions of men wearing balaclavas with a gun slung over their shoulder wrapping up naan bread in packs of two and slipping an ACME bomb between the breads.

D'you think if you rip the top off a naan and throw it, it explodes? Like a naanade.

VikingLady

My DF used to be a store manager for Fine Fare back in the 70s. One of his staff was always wearing his trousers at half mast in front of customers. This was back in the days when you could smoke in shops. DF waited til the guy was bending down into a freezer to restock it and tapped his fag ash right down the man's moon-grin

Just spat beer on me monitor. :o:o:o

Here in N.Ireland we had Woolco and,Stewarts. When Tesco took over Stewarts a few years ago we were beside ourselves . Then Safeway took over Woolco. Which then became Morrisons and is now Asda

In our Tescos a customer used to come in on a disability scooter and ask the workers for help with his shopping. One of the girls said "oh dear your sausages have burst open" and tried to lift it to put it back. Obviously it wasn't a sausage ...

NORMANS.

Fucking NORMANS.

A bloody HIGHLIGHT (re lowlight) of my childhood was going to Bampton Fair and on the way back take a fuck off great diversion to Taunton to go to Normans. Normans was the worst supermarket in the world. It made Kwik Save with all their Prisoner Cell block H packaging look like Harrods.

Coco, was it a chipolata?

"To which her mum replied, 'oh no, that bread is made by terrorists. It's probably got bombs in it.'"

but Waitrose does attract a thick type of customer tbf. I've noticed on the occasional sojourn into there that there are some posh but dim types braying about the place. I feel a bit more easy around them though as they are less likely to give me a Chelsea Grin with a broken baguette than the Asda clientele.

Yank, it's a VILE VILE VILE thread I started in AIBU where I slag off my cousin for being as thick as mince and managing to procreate despite having the intelligence of a furball.

They have Aldi in the states?! WTF?! What things do you get in there CY?!

I have found the thread, thanks to a helpful PM, and have been ignoring DS and guffawing over it for some time. :o

Yes, we still have Aldi since the last time we discussed it . You can get all sorts! Basic groceries, etc. No gluten free pasta. But, bizarrely, we once got a bench for our garden there.

I'm still in over the event actually...things like that Do Not Happen Here. There is an actual term "Minnesota Nice" because to be rude in public here is non existent. (It can really be more of a reserved passive aggressiveness than true kindness, but still :o) I really thought he was going to punch me or something.