To love a good supermarket scrap thread?

[BupcakesAndCunting]

There have been some good ones this week, what with the snow turning everyone rabid and that.

Tell Aunty Bupcakes your best supermarket scrap threads. I loves 'em I do.

and

Why has nobody ever started a fight with me in the supermarket?

Ooh, mrsdv, you go girlfriend!

I've never scrapped in a supermarket, however I don't get this trait from my parents who both love a good supermarket scrap.

I did used to work the checkout at Morribongos in my youth and I saw some sights, I tell thee. I had everything from drunks to attempted suicides at my till, plus a staggering amount of urinating in the aisles and some number 2s in the foyer.

DF scrapped with a woman recently who accused him of trolleying her elderly blind mother (who had been abandoned at the other end of the shop). DM scrapped with a (different) woman for giving the woman evils after seeing her dragging her child by her hair along an aisle. Said woman followed my DM to the checkout and asked what business it was of hers if she wanted to mistreat her child.

I had my Bags for Life stollen, while I was in the loo, in Waitrose. Sadly, I couldn't find the culprit (despite searching everyone's trolley for Tesco BFL) . Of course, being Waitrose, the lovely staff gave me lots of shiney new ones.

I was reading this thread wishing I had a story, and then remembered I do! And it makes my DH look pretty freaking awesome.

We were doing our weekly shop when we came to an aisle where there was a spillage of sugar, a member of staff with Down's Syndrome was standing in front of the spill telling people to be careful.

As we got to the top of the aisle we heard someone shouting and turned around to see another member of staff SCREAMING at the poor bloke "why don't you bloody move and DO something instead of standing around looking useless." Now DH happened to work for this chain of supermarkets at the time in another branch, so knew fine well when you have a spillage, the course of action is to stand next to it to warn customers until you can find someone else to get one of the wee yellow caution signs.

Before I knew what was happening, DH stormed over to this bloke and told him to pack it in, that the guy didn't deserve to be reprimanded like that because he wasn't doing anything wrong, and even if he DID it wasn't appropriate to shout at a member of staff like that. He also suggested that instead of standing here screaming, he also do something useful and help clear up the mess.

Shouty man stomped off and DH checked the poor guy was okay - he wasn't, he was really upset by this point and just kept saying "thank you, thank you" bless him. A manager must have heard the commotion because one came round the corner to find out what was going on, DH filled him in, the manager thanked him for stepping in and promised he would resolve the issue.

I was going round M&S with DD, who was just under two at the time, with her sitting in a trolley. DD is very friendly and says hello to people.

An older lady smiled at her and they exchanged hello. The woman said to me "your daughter is really pretty and really friendly. You have made a mistake there, she is going to get snatched in broad daylight like that, anyone could snatch her - they would get her off you so easily. You need to dress her as a boy and teach her to be scared."

I didnt know what to say. Not exactly rude, but incredibly creepy and obviously I was clinging on to her like mad for the next couple of weeks.

I feel as though I've had a very sheltered life. The supermarket for me is generally an incident free occasion.

Though when I was a student apparently a nasty lady and her mother were following me round Castle Boulevard Sainsbury's, giving me evil looks and sneers. I didn't notice - my mate told me afterwards.

Maybe it's because I'm a Rural Type.

Someone made me cry in a supermarket by nicking some candles.

I am not usually such a twat, but it was in 2007 just after the floods, my partner's house had flooded and was unusable, the house I lived in had its water cut off and there were rumours that the electric for the whole north of Gloucestershire was going to be cut as well. So pretty much the whole of Cheltenham was in a supermarket that day buying food and bottles of water and candles.

I was very, very lucky as I had found a couple of battered christmas candles in the reduced section amongst the dented tins and battered packets of soup (every other candle in the shop had been snatched up hours before) so I put them in my basket, which was on my arm. I walked through the BEDLAM like shop to get some more stuff, and noticed someone just half inching the candles out my basket. I was a bit dumbfounded, but then asked her to give them back and what the hell was she doing. She said 'you haven't paid for them, so FUCK OFF' and stalked off. I was so pissed off (couple of days of flood worry, dd was away and couldn't come back of the situation, I hadn't washed, all cars were flooded, now XP was distraught because his house was fucked) I just burst into tears and scuttled off.

So, beefy looking woman from Bishop's Cleeve. I hope you have really bad piles. Bitch.

I can't remember arguing with other customers. If I argue, it's at the checkouts about the prices that appear on the customer display. I have often seen a different price on the shelf and that's the price that should be charged. I usually win. I always apologise to the checkout operator and the queue building up behind me.

I don't like being called Love or Darlin' or other such names. In Asda last year, the checkout operator called me 'Darlin'. I asked her if she called all customers Darlin'. She said, "Not everyone, Madam."

Some years ago, when I still had my DH, we were in Asda and I felt the elastic in my cheapo pants go. I could feel them lowering themselves so went behind the vegetable displays to remove them.

What a hero, MrsReiver!

RuleBritannia, I have just snorted tea all over my keyboard at you removing your pants in Asda. What part of the vegetable display did you find suitably concealing?

Were they from Asda? You could have whipped them off and asked for a refund as not fit for purpose?

rule how can the same person tell a story about being appropriately addressed as madam and in the next breath admit they took their knickers off behind the parsnips?

I often wonder who it is who takes one pair of knickers from a multipack in the supermarket.

I once examined the products on an aisle in tesco for about 20 minutes so that I could tabhang on two women who were yelling at each other.

And only last week I witnessed two groups of people - a couple of women v I think a couple of women and a bloke - outside a shop. Well. you've never heard anything like it! effing and blinding and threatening each other. I have NO clue what the hell it was about, but they seemed to know each other and the two women ended it by screeching that they were going to put the other lot's windows through.

My husband was with me and he was open mouthed. He began to comment on it to me and I told him to shut up and don't look at them (I grew up with such people and I know what happens next if they notice you looking!)

After they'd finished, the two women just went into the shop and did their shopping.

This baffled my husband more than anything. He said if he'd been involved in such a thing, he'd have been so shaken by it, he'd have had to just go home.

I laughed. He's got no clue. I grew up with it and I can tell you that it's what passes for entertainment while they're waiting for corrie to come on.

Not a supermarket, but a large Curry's store. I'd parked next to a car and the driver (a middle aged woman) was sitting in it about it get out.

I opened my door and got out too, didn't pay her any attention until she started calling me a "bitch" as I'd "hit her door with my door".

I know for sure that I hadn't hit her door, and if I had I'm polite enough to apologise. The whole time I was in Curry's any time she walked past me she looked at me and muttered, "you bitch"

I was in the self serve queue in ASDA and people kept pushing in. I exchanged conversation with the couple behind me about how rude it was. I went to one of the self serve tills and I saw someine pushing.
I said "excuse me, dont think you've noticed but this couple are next in the queue" I obviously shouldn't have said anything.
He said "sorry, didn't even see"
Then as I was scanning my shopping he was waiting in the queue he shouted "there's a fucking queue here you know love"
I should have said something instead I walked out, forgetting £10 of change and a member of staff ran after me

And today, in a different ASDA, an old lady poked me really hard in the bottom of my back. I turned round and she gave me the biggest smile. I do not know her

Mrs Devere!!!!!!

I walk quickly away from fights - especially the one when I told a gentleman (yes seemingly yummy daddy in Putney Waitrose) that his children would probably be happier scooting in the park than the supermarket where they had almost knocked over an elderly lady - and he went into a full rage explosion about how I dare I tell him what his kids could do where - you effing upper class snobby cow. I think he thought he was allowed because he thought he was posh - all the old gimmers in their red kegs sort of circled me until he had gone muttering under their breath. I would have loved to have had a splintering riposte - but I just walked away and carried on and he glowered at me across the checkouts.

The couple whose wife stood in the queue in front of me holding a bag of flour whilst her husband finished the shopping and she texted him that she was next . I just said "you're very welcome but it's usual practice to join the queue when you finish your shopping" and smiled. Oh how they squirmed when I said no, of course, I didn't expect to go in front of them.

"I often wonder who it is who takes one pair of knickers from a multipack in the supermarket."

Multipacks of pants in shops are very handy if you've just sharted on your travels.

I have, never, ever had a row in a supermarket and am at some of these tales.

I am deeply, deeply boring.

Oh I've also seen some almost scraps in the reduced section of the Morrisons in York. Pretty brutal but a great day out

I said 'oi!' bad temperedly to a young child jumping off bollards in Waitrose car park. He jumped right on my foot.

His mother looked scandalised and gathered him up into her skirts. I don't think that type of Gloucestershire mummy had heard anyone say the word oi before.

I pursed my lips and stalked off. Bloody Waitrose. The only shop I have ever seen people blatantly walk around covered in shit (horsey types with manure covered jodhpurs).

Come on, Exit! Get yourself out to the nearest supermarket and find yourself a glarey-eyed housefrau to start on.

Honestly, it's grand fun!

Lampzig The vegetable display was at least 4ft 6in tall and my DH stood watching for others approaching. I can take pants off quickly especially when the elastic has gone.

GeOrf1 I did appreciate being called 'Madam' but I did not describe it as 'appropriate', did I? But it was.

GetOrf2 I usually buy cheapo stuff like pants or lipstick when it doesn't matter abroad. I usually get good value for money but didn't as was shown on that occasion.

GetOrfagain 'Madam' and 'knickers off' in Asda simply shows that I am two faced have at least two personae. I shop in Waitrose on Saturdays.