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AIBU?

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Original poster

I've just walked out on DH

33 replies

MrsOnTheMove · 20/01/2013 01:28

DH took dd's to local pub (small village) this evening (7pm)as dd1 friend was going with family for tea. I didn't go as poorly. DH said they would be an hour at most which was fine. They came home at 10.40pm Dd2 was upset as very tired and dd's could clearly see I wasn't happy with DH.

Dd's went to bed and DH kept making comments to puppy (which I ignored) about me being grumpy. I said it was too late for dd's but they could have earlier bedtime tomorrow.

He then proceeded to tell me that dd1 friend mum was very drunk (she doesn't normally go to this pub) and that we had been invited out with dd's next Saturday for dinner. I made no comment as DH is working next sat/sun 2-10pm so knew he'd probably said couldn't make it. He then said dd1 was going for a sleepover on Saturday??? I reminded him dd1 10th birthday is Sunday and I have things planned (not a party as have a surprise booked for may time which she knows of) DH then started a row over the fact that I was being UR with regard to her wishes and she's going. I only said I'd rather her best home for b. day brekkie as sleepovers usually mean tiredness etc. and I have arranged a full day out with dd's and two friends.

DH told me I am Completely ur and to 'f@"k off' and leave. Apparently the only reason reason dd1 didn't mention it to me is 'cos I'm a crap mum and won't let her go! Nothing to do with fact that friend was v. Drunk and I know she'd want her dd at home for b. day.

I said I'd ring friend tomorrow to discuss - he said nothing to discuss dd1 is going as he's st work and 'what exciting, wonderful thing had I got planned'

So for first time ever Instead of getting upset I got dressed and left.

Don't know what to do?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 20/01/2013 01:34

Go home, go to bed and sort it out in the morning.

shinyrobot · 20/01/2013 01:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lindsay321 · 20/01/2013 01:36

Have you left with out the children?

Original poster
MrsOnTheMove · 20/01/2013 01:36

Having driven around for an hour- I'm back in village and will go home for now.

OP posts:
Lindsay321 · 20/01/2013 01:39

Go home, if you can't go to bed make a comfy temp bed in the living room that the kids will love in the morning.

Please don't sleep in the car.

AgentZigzag · 20/01/2013 01:42

Where are you now?

Just sounds like a spat, on it's own, but it's like you've walked out saying 'right, I will then' cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I don't blame you in some ways, but really, you'd be best off in your own home at this time of night, it's a bit chilly out there.

I suppose your DD is 10 and can reasonably make up her own mind what she'd like to do, but then you might have a point with the tiredness going out with her other friends, but then it's only a one off, and doesn't your DH get a say in what his DD would like to do?

You're ill FFS, get yoursen to bed y'daft begger!

shinyrobot · 20/01/2013 01:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsOnTheMove · 20/01/2013 01:44

I'm back home Blush

OP posts:
EMS23 · 20/01/2013 01:44

Your DH sounds like he was a bit tipsy and maybe that's why he was being so arsey. If so, hopefully he'll be a bit more reasonable in the morning.

Good that you're going home, it can be sorted in the cold light of day.

Could DD's friend stay over at yours instead perhaps or would that get in the way of the b'day plans you've already made?

SpottyBagOfTumble · 20/01/2013 01:45

How old are dds? Sounds like everyone is feeling a bit tired and crap ATM. Hopefully things will be clearer in the morning with a long talk.

AgentZigzag · 20/01/2013 01:48

Do not put on that Blush face saying you're at home!

You did the right thing going back, you haven't lost face or anything going back to your own home after having words with your DH (unless he's one of those types who play on perceived point scoring, in which case ignore the fucker and refuse to play the game)

Did he try and contact you while you were out?

Lindsay321 · 20/01/2013 01:53

Second you not feeling Blush about this!

This sounds all a bit alcohol induced to me. Is this a problem?

Really glad you're home though!

TinyDancingHoofer · 20/01/2013 02:27

Your DH sounds a bit drunk and rude but if your dd wants to wake up on her birthday at her friend's house then i think you should let her.

GingerBlondecat · 20/01/2013 02:39

How old is DD1?

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/01/2013 02:39

"So for first time ever Instead of getting upset I got dressed and left."
Does this mean that this sort of behaviour from him is a regular occurance?

AgentZigzag · 20/01/2013 02:52

It's only the OPs choice of words which makes him having started the argument WYLI, you could say he was just saying what he thought their DD would prefer to do on her birthday.

Unless you don't think he should have a view on such matters?

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/01/2013 03:10

I was more meaning telling the OP to fuck off, AgentZigZag. And staying in the pub for over three hours when he said he'd be an hour at most.

AgentZigzag · 20/01/2013 03:15

Neither of them are that bad WYLI.

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/01/2013 03:16

I disagree.

RuleBritannia · 20/01/2013 08:56

Could it be that the husband was soo 'tipsy' that he didn't realise that the OP had left the house? He'll wonder why she's on the settee when he crawls goes downstairs.

AThingInYourLife · 20/01/2013 09:00

Your husband took your children to the pub for the evening and got pissed?

Shock
Collaborate · 20/01/2013 09:10

You need to treat each other with more respect. He shouldn't speak to you like that, and you shouldn't be so controlling about what your DDs do. He's their father. He can make arrangements for them without ringing you for approval. I'm wiling to bet you don't seek approval from him when you make arrangements. When he got home, your criticism of him will have made him feel like you consider him subservient to you as a parent.

ErikNorseman · 20/01/2013 09:22

Your dh took two young children to the pub until 10.30 pm? Nice. The argument about next Saturday isn't a big deal but your dh sounds like a drunken fool IMO.

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 20/01/2013 11:35

Update?

Your dh sounds like an arse. I hope you're ok & not too tired/cross.

Groovee · 20/01/2013 11:39

If friend's mum was drunk there is a high chance, she didn't mean it.

Hope you have sorted it out.