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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to object to pretending dd is younger than she is

40 replies

hatchibombatour · 19/01/2013 20:17

We're looking into going over to Ireland and scoping.g flight vs ferry. Ferry would be much cheaper than flying if we pretend dd is 4 (she's actually 5). I don't feel comfortable with doing that, we would have to prime her and what sort of message does that send? But dh says he hates it when I do this with my absurd sense of moral standards. And it would mean we wouldn't have to scrum it with Rottonair.

Help me work out if I'm being ridiculous, or am I right to feel it's intrinsically wrong to lie about this sort of thing? Is everyone really at it, as dh says??

OP posts:

BacardiNCoke · 19/01/2013 20:19

Surely they'd know her age by her DOB on her passport?

Katz · 19/01/2013 20:20

You can just pretend, as bacardi says she'll have her passport

Katz · 19/01/2013 20:21

Can't not can! Gah!

Tee2072 · 19/01/2013 20:21

Do they check passports in and out of Ireland from the UK mainland when on the ferry? Because there is certainly no checking between Northern Ireland and Ireland, you can just go on down via car or train.

If they do then yes, her passport will give her away.

AnotherPoster · 19/01/2013 20:22

You don't need a passport to go to Ireland.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 19/01/2013 20:23

Isn't the ferry fare the same for a vehicle and up to 4 passengers regardless of how many passengers there actually are? (well up to 4 ykwim)

MamaBear17 · 19/01/2013 20:27

I would feel the same and my husband would react in the same way as yours. No advise, I just empathise!

creativevoid · 19/01/2013 20:28

I wouldn't lie about this. It's a slippery slope. You would teaching your dd it is okay to lie if it gives you an advantage.

Original poster

hatchibombatour · 19/01/2013 20:29

no passport needed, as far as I know. And even if we did have it dh reckons it wouldn't be checked with a ticket.

We were looking at deals with train and ferry, not with the car. Doesn't appear to be as good value as we've been led to believe.

OP posts:

WhateverTrevor · 19/01/2013 20:51

Would they even ask? How do you book the ticket? If online just do it. Nothing wrong with saving a few quid.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 19/01/2013 20:54

God my whole childhood was littered with this sort of thing. I was carried over the turnstiles at Highbury more times than I care to remember!

lljkk · 19/01/2013 20:56

I am a dishonest minger and would pretend she was 4.
You'll get polarised views on this.
I think best to ignore MN & go with your instincts.

Catchingmockingbirds · 19/01/2013 21:00

God my whole childhood was littered with this sort of thing.

Mine too! I couldn't do it with DS now though, I'd feel too embarrassed and would catch myself out.

NoelHeadbands · 19/01/2013 21:05

I know a family who did this stuff all the time- they put the eight year old in the one year old's buggy, covered him in a blanket and pretended he was three.

They'd sneak extra family members into the hotel rooms AND restaurants when they'd booked overnight stays with evening meals and think nothing of hiding the kids in the boot of the car when checking in at Centerparcs and stuff.

The awful thing was that quite often they'd get caught- but it didn't stop them trying. Cringe city, they were friends of the in laws and I very quickly stopped going anywhere with them.

WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis · 19/01/2013 21:21

YANBU to feel uncomfortable about it.

I would.

AdoraBell · 19/01/2013 21:25

Your choice, but when my sister mistakenly said DN was 4 on the bus, about 2.5 days after his birthday, he piped up "no mum, I'm 5 now . Can DH garunatee she won't tell the nice lady/man that daddy told her to pretend she's only 4 because he doesn't want to pay full price?

I'm not being all outraged at the idea of conning a cheaper fair, but I wouldn't do it because I can rely on my DDs to drop me in it

Glittertwins · 19/01/2013 21:29

You do need a passport to fly between Ireland and the UK. I remember a project getting delayed as some of the Irish didn't realise they needed a passport and were turned back. I would think ferries will be the same.

Tee2072 · 19/01/2013 21:31

That's probably because you need ID to fly, Glittertwins, not because it has to be a passport.

Either way, I wouldn't do it. My mom always did it to me when I was a kid and I hated it. I hate lying.

Glittertwins · 19/01/2013 21:33

Good point but since uk is not part of Schengen, the only ID accepted is a passport between member states.

BertieBotts · 19/01/2013 21:38

You need a form of photographic ID, but when we went on a ferry a couple of years ago they didn't actually check. I had a passport but XP didn't, my mum didn't and my grandad didn't (he had to send off his driving licence to get a photographic one though!)

Ha! Glittertwins I wondered what that was! DP has recently moved to Germany and everyone there is astounded that he still has a passport for just travelling within the EU, they think he is mad. I had no idea it was a separate thing and now I will win with my superior knowledge

BertieBotts · 19/01/2013 21:39

Here, on an Irish Ferry website:

Irish Ferries recommend all passengers bring a passport with them. Irish and British citizens do not strictly require a passport to travel between the two countries - some form of identification is however required.

Tee2072 · 19/01/2013 21:40

I wouldn't know since I take the train to Ireland.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 19/01/2013 21:52

Belfast-Liverpool ferry definitely doesn't ask for DC's passport, DS has been back and forth and doesn't have one.

Generally, they just go by your car registration, glance vaguely in the back and say 'and 2 kids?' and that's about it.

Not sure about train/ferry as I've only ever done that solo.

Corygal · 19/01/2013 21:55

Well, if you only do it for once (next time DS will be too large to fake it), you could call the ferry co and ask about passport requirements.

Corygal · 19/01/2013 21:56

I am wasted as a media perfeshunal and should be Moriarty.

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