to object to pretending dd is younger than she is

[hatchibombatour]

We're looking into going over to Ireland and scoping.g flight vs ferry. Ferry would be much cheaper than flying if we pretend dd is 4 (she's actually 5). I don't feel comfortable with doing that, we would have to prime her and what sort of message does that send? But dh says he hates it when I do this with my absurd sense of moral standards. And it would mean we wouldn't have to scrum it with Rottonair.

Help me work out if I'm being ridiculous, or am I right to feel it's intrinsically wrong to lie about this sort of thing? Is everyone really at it, as dh says??

If your quote is for train and ferry, I think the age thing is for the train, or at easy party for the train. Under 5s travel free on the trains, but they don't get their own seat so you may want to think abut whether you would be happy to have DD on your lap. Have you tried checking prices with a family railcard?

we did stranraer - belfast earlier this year on a coach trip to watch the ice hockey

There were no id checks. They did random checks on hand luggage presumably for saferty of the ferry but no id checks. I didnt even think to have my passport with me

I would just say your dd is 4 but then I have no scruples..

That's because Liverpool Belfast or Scotland Belfast is within the UK...

Last time I got the ferry was taking a car over selling it, swapped it for a new one and then took new car back on same ticket which had the original number plate on. Not a single word was mentioned when checking on, noone looked in car, could have had anything in it. I'd do it.

Isn't the cut off point 3 anyway? Under 3 is infant and 3 and up is child fare.

I always worry about implications of this - say there was an accident or something, would lying on stuff like this affect your insurance or compensation or something? Just something I've always wondered.

YANBU. If the price difference was a million pounds I'd perhaps take a punt.

Sorry, Tee, I do know that really , in my head I was comparing to flying Liverpool-Belfast, which would be passports for all, shoes through the scanner, taste the baby food yada yada
...rather than sailing Holyhead-Dublin which would have been a more sensible comparison.

I wouldn't do it because I think moral issues are very black and white to kids at that age and you'd be teaching them that it's fine to lie if you gain an advantage from it.

The child will also probably tell someone you've done it so you have to be prepared to deal with in-laws or maybe teacher knowing and possibly adjusting their opinion of you. It constantly amazes me what kids tell random adults.

I was once on a bus when the ticket inspector got on and a mum swore her child was 4 and the child indignantly and repeatedly reminded mummy that she was 5! Certainly provided entertainment for a bored bunch of commuters... and she paid the on the spot fine.

Not everyone does it. I never did it with ds. I was never comfortable with it. Most 4 year olds are pretty on the ball and might announce you did this to someone you'd rather not know.

Thank you for all the responses. It's confirmed to me I'm not alone, even though dh would have me believe sometimes I'm as uptight as arseholes. I hate lying, and am quite paranoid about passporty things anyway so I'm not the best person to suggest this to. Also there is a strong likelihood dd would let the cat out the bag, even if primed, and I completely agree I think it sends the wrong message. "daddy used to lick sharp knives didn't he mummy" was today's gem.

Now looking into use of clubcard points and other alternatives

I wouldn't do it. Is it Northern Ireland you're going to or southern Ireland? Northern Ireland might be easier - as part of the UK - but I recently went to Cork and had to show passports. I think another form of photo ID would have been ok but most kids only have a passport as we don't have identity cards in this country. I remember being told to lie about my age as a kid for exactly these reasons and hated it. Sheer embarrassment was felt at being caught and I was the kid.

When we took DD to London we were buying tickets for the sightseeing bus, and the lady selling the tickets looked at DD and said, "You are 4 aren't you?' DD piped up "No, I am 5". "No, you are 4" said the lady, and sold us the appropriate tickets.

I shouldn't worry about it too much, but if it will spoil your enjoyment, go for the truth.

that has happened a lot to us, too, Exit.

I think you are right not to do it; I never have either. For the moral and future implications of teaching dc to lie and for the sheer embarrassment to them if they get caught out in a lie.