in thinking that "Are you ok?!" or "oooooooh I bet that hurt" is a fucking stupid thing to say?

[Bogeyface]

When someone has clearly just REALLY fucking hurt themselves?

Just stubbed my toe, which as we all know hurts more than having babies albeit briefly, and was hopping around swearing when DD (15) said "oooh I bet that hurt, are you ok?"

I didnt swear at her (as I would if her father had said it!) just rolled my eyes and said "REALLY?!" . To be fair she did smirk and say sorry!

Why is it human nature to say such a blatantly stupid thing?! Man falls down 2 flights of stairs and every limb he has is bending the wrong way. "oh, are you alright?" Take a wild guess, genius!

AIBU?

PS, I make a point of trying not to say this, but it does sometimes slip out!

What would you rather they say?

YABVU
She was a) sympathising and b) asking if you are ok.
She shouldn't bother next time

Your DD sounds quite thoughtful. I would have laughed.

YANBU It's on a par with 'Oh, haven't you had it yet?' said to someone who is very overdue..... The instinct to reply 'Yes, but I missed the bump, so I shoved a cushion up my jumper!' used to be very great....!

It's the "done thing" to say, to express sympathy, acknowledge what has happened, and ask if assistance is needed.
Would you rather she'd pointed and laughed, or just not reacted at all?

What else are people supposed to say?

So did it hurt? And are you OK?

Rhetorical questions irritate me too.

Is it raining outside?

No I always shower with my clothes on

My mum does a variant of this 'ooo be careful' said every time I drop something or trip up. Drives me mad, there's no point warning against something that has already happened. YANBU

Yabu

Your poor DD! Sounds like she was being sympathetic, and really didn't deserve a nasty response.

YABU. She was being nice and offering sympathy.

Well done your DD.

She was sympathetic which is why I didnt have a go at her!

She is looking over my shoulder, laughed and said "Yeah, I hope it really hurt" :o

She is laughing and so am I, it was more about why we say it than having a go at her, I wasnt and I would never do that.

What exactly would you prefer her to have said? Seems perfectly fine to me

What do you suggest they say? It's better than laughing or saying nothing - isn't it?

YABU

It's polite and caring even if it's stating the obvious. What would you say instead?

I dont know. I try and ask if they need anything although that usually illicits a "NO, leave me alone!" response!

sounds empathetic to me. i'd delighted if either of my two demonstrated this. instead they'd be unlikely to do more than briefly pause before resuming their long list of demands to play, fetch, reach, pour serve up, wipe, etc etc

What would you have said OP?

xpost

LOL! I still think it's probably the best thing to say when someone's hurt! Especially stubbing a toe, which is bloody painful, but it's not like you'd need an ambulance and over concern!!!!

'Are you ok?' is a rhetorical question.

The asker knows that the subject is not ok but is making a point of asking to show that s/he is:
a) aware that the subject has been harmed
b) cares about the subject's welfare enough to 'enquire', albeit rhetorically

'ooh I bet that hurt', is an expression of empathy.
'ooh' refers to the extent of the pain, or the sound someone makes in response to pain, or the sound someone makes in response to an unexpected incident, either positive or negative.
'I bet that hurt' is said to affirm that the subject is indeed in pain, and that the asker/commenter can appreciate what the subject is going through.

to conclude: YABU.

Ah bless at least she didn't say "when you've finished writhing around on the floor, can we have something to eat..?" So count your blessings!

"Are you ok?" is surely a polite way of expressing concern and determining whether the pathetic screaming is down to someone being a bit of wimp when it comes to pain or whether they have actually done themself a genuine injury that requires first aid.

I try and ask if they need anything although that usually illicits a "NO, leave me alone!" response!
What would want someone to get me if I had stubbed my toe...
I think I'd be more irritated at that response. Being in pain isn't a time for thinking!