To be horrified at giving a 3 yr old crisps, chocolate biscuits, cheesy bites...

[starofastorath]

....at 10 in the morning? After having sugary breakfast cereals?

Oh god, you really are insufferably smug.

Hels - I have a child like that (see my last post and earlier in the thread). People who have 'normal' eaters always think it's because of their skillful parenting. I have two friends who were smug with their first child and got a nasty shock with the second ones :o

I wouldn't wish it on anyone but I do abhor smugness

I hope your 'friend' is as judgey about you as you are about her.

For those people who claim that their children 'won't eat' fruit and veggies etc so they 'have' to offer them a junk alternative (which they eat!)...your child will not starve and will eat what you put in front of it if it is hungry enough. If I did not eat as a child I was not offered endless 'treats' - I had to wait until the next meal time whereupon I ate as I was really hungry. Rocket science this is not.

Country, I know this, but when DS hasn't eaten for 2 days it gets to me & I cave in. He doesn't get total crap but would happily live on baked beans & sausages or toast if I let him.
And sometimes I cave in because the whining gets to me.

I'm not perfect, I know my child will not deliberately starve himself but it's hard.

Country kitten.
My ds1 has sn.
I can assure you he will not eat fruit. Of any kind. And never has. Probably never will.
Ds2 who is nt loves fruit and eats loads.
People like you make me so bloody mad.
Always the mothers fault, right?
Some children literally cannot stand the taste/texture of some foods. That is NORMAL! We all have likes and dislikes.
Ds1 also does not eat chocolate or sweets and only drinks water.
Does that pass your stupid "test"?
I will not deny my child food. If they are hungry they eat.
Not rocket science, is it?

And I still have a real issue with the stupid naming of dreadful food as 'treats' It is not a treat to eat food which is not good for you - this is not 'treating' your body at all!

And to those who say that labelling certain foods as what they are (toxic crap) causes problems later on (yeah,yeah) I feel that the labelling of junk food as 'treat' food is very damaging - we clearly need educating about what your body would view as a treat because it sure isn't cake, biscuits, crisps and chocolate.

I am amazed at the delusional defence of stuffing this crap in to kids by people on here - have you heard about the obesity crisis? Setting up your kids for a lifetime and 'treats' and 'snacks' is really dumb.

And just because you might be thin does not mean that you are healthy either. You really are what you eat.

And OP I am not horrified at all by what you describe - it is commonplace. Sad but true.

I don' really understand why a 3yo needs crisps, chocolate at 10am in the morning.

I understand offering fussy eaters anything for breakfast just so they eat. But we are not talking about breakfast, we are talking about 10am in the morning.

So if the child has had breakfast, they can last till lunch without scoffing down a load of food which offers very little nutrition.

If they refuse a healthy snack mid morning then they can wait till lunchtime surely.

If they were at nursery they would be offered fruit/raw veg and nothing else so I hardly think it's harmful.

I wouldn't be horrified but I would question the mothers judgement (silently of course) and wonder about the long term health of the child if crisps, choc and cheesy bites are seen as a normal snack to be offered at any time of the day.

And I don't think the OP is referring to children with SN at all.

Don't get all het up when clearly the OP isn't referencing your particular situation.

Do we really need to put a disclaimer on every thread?

How does the op know whether the child in question has sn or feeding issues?
Ah.
She doesn't, does she?
What a boring tedious thread.
Am off.
Ttfn x

You don't know how much breakfast the child has eaten Carrie.

Anyway, let's not forget that the child refused the food

countrykitten - fruit is not the fabulous food you seem to think it is. Fruit sugar is no better for you than sugar in a biscuit

You can't judge anyones diet on one snack.

Chocolate and crisps may not be the most nutritious of snacks but that doesn't mean a child (or adult) should never eat them, there is nothing wrong with eating something just because you like it.

So for those of you who wouldn't let your 3yo taste cake or biscuits because you don't want to them to learn to like crap, what do you do if they are invited to a birthday party? a wedding? a special dinner out with dessert? or do your children not have a social life?

have a lovely photo of dd scoffing boeuf bourgignonne at her own christening; followed by pavlova if I remember correctly; it hasn't spoiled her enjoyment of fruit and vegetables in the least

I should imagine she does Badvoc seeing as it's her friend.

Kiriwawa, there is a big difference between fruit sugar (fructose) and sweet sugar (refined sugar).

This is the only time in my life I have ever heard anyone say fruit is as bad for you as sweets

My 5yo and 2yo happily eat all sorts of junk. However they eat more fruit/veg than they do crap. This is because I'm lucky in that I don't have a fussy eater so I can tell them to grab an apple etc if they are hungry between meals.

I wouldn't stuff myself full of crap at 10am in the morning so why would I offer it to them?

If someone else give it to them then they can have it.

They help themselves whatever they want at parties.

I don't keep sweets or crisps in the house. I bake biscuits, cakes etc but I don't allow a free for all on the biscuit tin.

I also make sure I send two key messages home:

1. All food is fine in moderation.

1. Junk food will not fill you up and should not be eaten if you are hungry. Eat something healthy which will fill you up instead.

Excuse typos. 2yo climbing all over me!

Dear god country you sound like the smuggest person in the world of food I have to say.

This thread is more than tedious. A biscuit given as part of an overall decent diet is absolutely fine, you are going right over the top in my opinion.

If you want to be that strict with your own kids well thats up to you but stop calling people dumb and being so annoying about it please!

When my ds1 was 3 he ate cheese. And that was it. For about 6 months.

Thank fuck I was not on mumsnet 10 years ago to be told I must never give in and make him eat. Why? What for?

He's 13 now. He eats a shed load of crap plus fruit and veg. Shoot me now.

Another one here going to hell by the looks of it. My 3 year old DD is currently eating smarties, 6 of them to be exact. As her Grandmother looked after her today she probably also had something sweet throughout the day. Am I worried? Not in the least.
DD has 5 portions of fruit per day as well as everything else that the 'text books' insist that she should be eating. I could try to say that she eats well because of my parenting but its not just this.. She enjoys fruit and veg so in this respect I'm lucky. However the last 3 years have been filled with times when she won't eat and so she has had times where it feels like she's lived on cheese, toast and garlic bread. I have become a lot wiser (or maybe just more easy going) following each phase and don't stress about it so much now.
And here's the part where I will probably get flamed.. Special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas and holidays we have an anything goes attitude. If she wants popcorn before breakfast she has it. Sweets before lunch? Fine. Chocolate before bed, no problem. However once back home or aft the special day everything goes back to normal.

Where did I say that fruit was amazingly good for you? In moderation it is pretty good for you on the whole though, in particular berries.

I think you can take it too extremities either way, with too much junk or going beyond super anal about it.

What's super-anal about simply not offering sweets?

FWIW, DD1 can be fussy (she likes to stick to what she's used to). We deal with this by not giving her the same thing too often. I expect that if we had given her sweets / crisps as a preschooler she would be insisting on those things regularly now.

Cake etc at birthday parties is not a problem because birthday parties don't happen every day.

With DD2 we were luckier - she eats whatever is put in front of her.

Either way, all we did was try to capitalise on the good luck and mitigate the bad luck we had with each child.

I'm sure that DW and I have got lots of things wrong as parents, but not this.

Some of the posts on this thread are beyond anal toad.

If you dont want to offer sweets dont thats your choice isnt it.

All together now...
I've got my judgy pants on
They're pulled up over my head
The only time I take them off
Is when I go to bed