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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

by considering using ashes to make jewellery?....

62 replies

MooMa42o · 17/01/2013 15:04

Very long story short, my dad died at the beginning of December, now there is talk of what to do with his ashes, we were very close, me being his main carer for the last few years, & i really think i want to get a necklace or something similar made from his ashes, i know this is possible if not that common.

Firstly, is this weird?...

Secondly, anyone else done it, & care to share with me?

& lastly i am unsure how i feel about him being separated, any views?

I suppose i am really looking to gauge how people feel about it, i don't want to become that strange girl who has her dad around her neck, but i don't want it to be too late & wish i had done it!...

I think i am really all kinds of confused at the moment! Any point of view would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
DoodleAlley · 17/01/2013 15:19

Personally the idea of doing that makes me feel a bit weird but it's entirely your decision.

My question to you is, how would you feel if the item
Of jewellery got lost as these things do happen?

WowOoo · 17/01/2013 15:21

I'd love to do it.
My parents ashes are in jars in the office. Far better to have something beautiful that you can wear.
I don't think it's strange at all. It's a lovely idea.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/01/2013 15:23

I think it's a lovely idea. I wouldn't tell anyone though, if it was me. Two reasons, one is that I would want it to be my thing, private. The other is that some people will think it's weird and I wouldn't want that to affect me.

If you don't like the idea of having him separate, what about when you take out some ashes to make into jewelry, you but something special of yours in with him? A keepsake or something. This works in my head but I don't know if it would work for you.

DSM · 17/01/2013 15:24

I think it's pretty weird and odd.. But I would do it. I probably wouldn't tell people.

YeahBuddy · 17/01/2013 15:24

I know a guy who did something like this with his mums ashes. He had some of them put into tiny pot things which are then attached to a chain or whatever to wear as jewellery and he wears his all the time. I think he got them made for all his siblings. Nice idea but I don't know if I would do it.

MyCatHasStaff · 17/01/2013 15:25

You can have a 'diamond' made from his ashes. I know it's not for everyone, but I have told my son that I would be happy if he wanted to do that with me. I quite like the idea.

McNewPants2013 · 17/01/2013 15:27

It's a lovely idea.

www.cremationjewellery.org/

VacantExpression · 17/01/2013 15:29

I'm very sorry for your loss.

My Dad died suddenly in September and my sisters, my mum and I are planning the very same with his ashes. Haven't thought for a minute thats its odd and i have discussed it with friends and none have said they thought so (though maybe they wouldn't i suppose).

I have also heard of ashes being made into tattoo ink. My eldest DC has a limited life expectancy and I am thinking I might do this so he will always be with me. Probably odd, probably wierd, but its for the one who has lost someone close to decide what to do whatever suits them.

princessx2 · 17/01/2013 15:29

It's a great idea and one of the pages I follow on Facebook is a guy who makes glass necklaces but can incorporate the ashes into them. These are bespoke pieces though, so you would need to contact him for a price and to ask if he would do this for you.

LaurieBlueBell · 17/01/2013 15:37

It's what I have planned for dh if he goes first. If I go first dh has instructions to have made into 3 small diamonds and set in something each dc.

LaurieBlueBell · 17/01/2013 15:38

something for each dc

valiumredhead · 17/01/2013 15:39

Yeah, it's something I would consider doing.

whatyoulookinat · 17/01/2013 15:39

never heared of this but what a great idea.

TheCatIsEatingIt · 17/01/2013 15:43

It would feel strange to me, but then my Dad's ashes are still at the undertakers, because I don't feel that they represent the Dad I loved anywhere near as much as my memories and photos and things he loved and gifts he gave me while he was alive.
Most people seem to find the ashes quite important, I'm willing to accept I'm in the minority with that.
Do what helps you to deal with your grief - if other people think you're strange, that's their lookout.

YouveCatToBeKittenMe · 17/01/2013 15:45

My dad died last year too, in November

I had never heard of this until we went to the funeral directors and saw leaflets about it.

TBH I thought it was a rather weird idea but the more I think about it the more I like it.
I don't want my children to feel obliged to visit a grave, or a memorial. They might move far away and if I am a bit of crystal they can take me with them.
They may however lose me down a plughole and be devastated, so I'll leave it up to them but I think it's quite a good idea as long as its not something really big and OTT.

GoldenHandshake · 17/01/2013 16:02

I think it is a lovely idea, and much better than an urn sitting in the back of a cupboard etc.

WhereTheWildOnesSnow · 17/01/2013 16:08

I have a gold ring with a stone made from my mums ashes. My nan had it made and passed it on to me when she died last year.
I think it's lovely.
Also, it only took a spoonful of the ashes to make it, so the rest was buried.

SashaSashays · 17/01/2013 16:14

I have rings made from each of my grandparents so 4 in total.

They really mean a lot to me.i will be doing same with my parents. I think it's one of the best things I've ever done.

Personally I couldn't one to terms with the idea of their ashes being scattered, it felt like throwing them away so I talked to family and had a ring made using my grans ashes. The idea of separation didn't really come up for me because when you scatter them it separates anyway. Knowing how much comfort I took from doing it with my grans ashes I asked remaining grandparents would it be ok to do this too (I knew they all had picked cremation) and they were fine with it. Now quite a few family members have had jewellery or momentos made up.

It's weird but sometimes I kiss the rings or find myself touching them when I worried. It really comforts me.

SashaSashays · 17/01/2013 16:19

Also I know there is a thing about people thinking its weird, but I normally tell people if they ask about my rings or grandparents/related topic comes up.

I have usually had quite a positive reaction. I suppose some will say that they just wouldn't tell me if they thought it was weird but it usually starts a whole other conversation and people then are quite positive about it. Have had some say good if it makes me happy but not for them and I've also had a few people who've then done the make thing when their loved one has died.

Badvoc · 17/01/2013 16:22

I think it a lovely idea

Pudgy2011 · 17/01/2013 16:26

My younger brother died in June and we're going to have rings made with his ashes. A friend of mine who lost her mum a few years ago told me about it and when I spoke to my mum, sister and DSIL they liked the idea, I think as a way of feeling close to him.

My parents are visiting me at the moment (I live overseas) and we will be scattering some of my brothers ashes here at the beach where I got married, at his request. But the idea of a ring or piece of jewellery brings me great comfort, I don't know why. I've had only positive reactions from people who I've spoken to about it though, nobody has found it weird.

thegreylady · 17/01/2013 16:27

The firm you want is called ashes to glass they have a facebook page which is easy to find.The pieces are beautiful and not too expensive.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 17/01/2013 16:28

I thought it was creepy when I first read it, but then I decided I quite liked the idea. A few things stopped me though, I would be devastated if I lost 'it', I would always be a bit Hmm at whether they'd actually used the ashes I gave them or not and I don't like the idea of only taking part of the ashes to do it - I think they should stay together - yet somehow, scattering them is different - Yeah I know, not very consistent. As it is, they are sitting in a lovely urn, only a couple of people know what it is though as it just looks like an ornament (it's not a traditional urn).

PackItInNow · 17/01/2013 16:29

Here's the website that we were thinking of using to have some sort of product made for the kids, from my MIL's ashes.

Here

soontobeburns · 17/01/2013 16:32

I think it lovely. From age 16 I have know it is what I want to happen to my ashes when I pass and I would do the same if I had the money from my DM and OHs ashes.

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