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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

by considering using ashes to make jewellery?....

62 replies

MooMa42o · 17/01/2013 15:04

Very long story short, my dad died at the beginning of December, now there is talk of what to do with his ashes, we were very close, me being his main carer for the last few years, & i really think i want to get a necklace or something similar made from his ashes, i know this is possible if not that common.

Firstly, is this weird?...

Secondly, anyone else done it, & care to share with me?

& lastly i am unsure how i feel about him being separated, any views?

I suppose i am really looking to gauge how people feel about it, i don't want to become that strange girl who has her dad around her neck, but i don't want it to be too late & wish i had done it!...

I think i am really all kinds of confused at the moment! Any point of view would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
littleladyindoors · 17/01/2013 16:36

I think it is a lovely idea, and at the end of the day it is how you can remember your Dad and thats all that matters. They are beautiful, and what a wonderful way to pass it on in the family too.
I have a piece of jewellery from my Grandad, that he wore every day, in fact never took it off. It means so much to me. But I can imagine, if I didnt have that, It would be lovely to have something like these pieces. Shame someone living on the mantlepiece or if you move in life, you can take him wherever you go.
I know people that would find this weird, but to be honest, let them.

SpicyPear · 17/01/2013 16:39

I think it's a nice idea, but would worry about losing it as it would be quite devastating.

3birthdaybunnies · 17/01/2013 16:48

If you are worried about losing it, might it be possible to make it into a hanging decoration which you could hang by a window, like a crystal, then when the sun shines through it is as if he's looking down on you, but less likely to get lost or prompt questions.

MTBMummy · 18/01/2013 08:21

Not at all weird, I think it's lovely - I'm considering having my mum's ashes turned into a diamond and then mounted on a ring.

Morloth · 18/01/2013 08:48

I think it is an awesome idea. Have told DH I would quite like to be a blue diamond - cut like the Hope Diamond.

Costs a bomb though doesn't it?

Original poster
MooMa42o · 16/06/2013 10:50

Sorry to post and never reply, i forgot i posted, think i was walking around in a bit of a blur...Thank you for all the comments & advice, yes it is a very expensive thing, but i have decided to go for it, just need to save & find one i really like, anyone who thinks its weird can bugger off, i think it is what i need to do in order to feel close once again! :)

OP posts:
specialsubject · 16/06/2013 10:52

I wouldn't do it - once a person is dead a body or ashes are meaningless to me.

BUT there are no rules to grief, if it is a comfort to you then go ahead. Just don't get ripped off.

Iwantmybed · 16/06/2013 10:57

I want to be a diamond after cremation too. Shiny & beautiful and last forever. The remaining ashes to go up in a Chinese lantern for a symbolic release.

Jan49 · 16/06/2013 15:19

I think it's fine if that is what you'd like.

Personally I don't think the ashes are the person, not really. I think of the body as like a coat that they have cast off.

My favourite memorials to my closest family are the cards which are a copy of the wording in a Book of Remembrance at the cemetery. They are printed in gold letters and have their names and dates and the words we chose. That means more to me than the memorials in the cemetery, which I rarely get to see (too far).

Stillcoping0 · 08/05/2017 11:50

I know this thread was a while ago, but I am currently going through this myself and would like some advice about reliable, trustworthy companies that do this in this country. I have contacted two who have sent me details, but I would prefer recommendations rather than searching the internet and taking your chances.
I have already made up my mind that this is what I would like to do (I had the conversation with my dad who agreed I could do it and also use my mum's wedding ring). Previously we used some of my mum's ashes to make a memorial paperweight and that brought my dad much comfort. However, I would prefer not to see the actual ashes so have opted for the diamond ring.
Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

Brittbugs80 · 08/05/2017 12:27

My Dad's ashes went to my Stepmums and us 3 sisters had a small heart urn with some ashes in for us. He died in the November and had already done our Christmas cards with £100 in each. My sister brought a ring with it, my other sister got herself a bench plaque and I'm getting a tattoo with mine. An ashes ring would be lovely though but I'd be worried about losing it. I keep his ashes on my shelf and a teaspoon of them has gone into a flower pot where I grow my "my dad" anniversary rose.

lucyandpoppy123 · 08/05/2017 13:06

Really sorry about your dad my dad died a few months ago too and we have just recently got the ashes back.
A lovely lady in my MN birth group started a business making jewellery with breastmilk/hair/ashes and she is very talented, her FB page has over 10,000 likes and rave reviews. It's called 'Milk diamonds' (our FB birth group was called diamonds)
I think as a concept I did used to think it a little odd to put bodily material in jewellery but her jewellery is so beautiful I'm seriously considering getting one for my dad just need to narrow down the design

AnUtterIdiot · 08/05/2017 13:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwatteryFlowers · 08/05/2017 13:20

My mum had pendants made for me and my sisters and some cufflinks for my brother using my step-dad's ashes. She used a company called Ashes into Glass. I like my pendant though I rarely wear it. When I do, I don't tell other people what it is (I don't discuss my jewellery anyway, really) because I don't want them to think it's weird or disgusting in some way.

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 08/05/2017 13:21

As said upthread grief works differently for different people. For myself I wouldn't want to have Jewellery or glasswork made out of my believed relative's ashes. It was done in the past with lockets or braids of hair so it is t a new thing. I would want to let go with ashes in a grave or garden of remembrance. I wouldn't scatter either. Everyone is different.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 08/05/2017 13:21

My Nan did this with some of my Granddads ashes, she had some of his ashes made into a ring.

I can't remember which one she used but this is an example - www.forevertogetherjewellery.co.uk/cremation-ashes-lockets/

Sorry for your loss Flowers

TwatteryFlowers · 08/05/2017 13:23

Oh, I didn't realise this was a zombie thread 🤢🤤

Kokusai · 08/05/2017 13:23

I think it is a nice idea

mardyelsie · 08/05/2017 13:31

I have a ring with my Dad's ashes in, it's a ring of stars with the ashes put into one of the stars. It doesn't look like cremation jewellery, it's beautiful. The chap who made it was so lovely and respectful too. www.chris-parry.co.uk/web2/?wpsc_product_category=star-jewellery

Walkingthedog46 · 08/05/2017 13:33

I like the idea and have considered using some of my husband's ashes, to make into a glass pendant, but what has held me back so far is what would happen to the piece of jewellery after I've died. If someone didn't recognise the item or realise its significance, I'd hate for it to finish up carelessly discarded

clairethewitch70 · 08/05/2017 13:41

I have a ring with my DF's ashes in and my mum got a necklace. It was arranged via the Funeral Director.

My DH says he is going to have me made into a diamond .

by considering using ashes to make jewellery?....
Radishal · 08/05/2017 14:18

I think it's weird. In necrophilia territory.
My parents' ashes are scattered in a place known only to us.

But if you think it's ok, that's your choice. Just don't wave it at me and expect me to say "Mm, lovely".

Radishal · 08/05/2017 14:20

Oops. It is a zombie thread. Sorry if I offend anyone's sensibilities but that's ironic.

ZiggyForever · 08/05/2017 14:37

I think it's a nice idea, OP - the "Ashes Into Glass" products are quite tasteful.

ZiggyForever · 08/05/2017 14:38

Oh! Just realised this is an old one Confused