Flatmates from hell

[mochiboom]

Okay so I'm not actually a mum at all, but my mum introduced me to this site and you all seem to give really good advice.

I'm a student, in my first year of uni, and now I know everyone says they have flatmate from hell, but mine really are a special lot.

Basically they have a love of going out a lot, and when they do, they always, always trash the flat. And I don't mean just chucking stuff on the floor, but we've had all of the furniture literally piled up, half out the windows, on top of the extractor fan etc

Plus recently, as part of an ongoing feud with another flat, we have been egged I think about three times; it's all over the windows and it managed to get inside on the carpets and ceilings. It's like concrete and we can't get it off. There's a risk of us being fined as well due to the damage.

Plus they're just so inconsiderate. One never ever does his washing up, and in fact left his dirty plates by the sink before he went home for Christmas; they leave takeaway trays and boxes everywhere and they make so much noise when they come back from a night out I was suffering from sleep deprivation by the end of last semester.

Now I'm still at home because I don't have to be back for another week, but I've just been told by another flatmate, who is back, that they went out for a birthday and the flat is beyond ruined. The fire extinguisher's missing from the kitchen, another flat that they invited over tried to break down her door last night to use her bathroom and the kitchen is a tip.

Normally I'd go and complain, but the problem is, is that I still have to live with them for another two semesters, and I couldn't bear the frigid atmosphere in the flat if they found out I'd complained. They have a personal vendetta against one of the other flatmates for some unknown reason. They are so cruel to her and I'm terrified it'll happen to me.

We have previously confronted them about this before, and they do seem genuinely remorseful at the time, and I do like them. But the fact of the matter remains; they are constantly inconsiderate, disrespectful and just downright rude.

I'm not being unreasonable to just ask for a bit of peace am I? I though university was meant to be fun, not hell.

In your first year of uni? You can ask to move into other uni accommodation. I would do so, flat mates are twats.

Sounds like the student flat I stayed in when I went to uni in Sheffield :)

Sheffied is a party city for students. Happy Days!

We had one person in our flat who would never come out with us, and she must have hated the chaos we lived in, but she never told us or complained or anything. Looking back I feel sorry for her, but uni is for working hard and playing hard - and for sorting out social issues too

If you are at Sheffield Uni then there are accommodation officers you can talk to. If you can't stand it then you would be better off moving out to a more peaceful accommodation

tbh it sounds normal to me. you can ask to move, but theres no garuntees it will be any different!

at uni i was lucky enough to live in the nursing block, so people were generally a hell of a lot more considerate, but still there was a lot of this going on and i heard from friends a lot of this too.

Sheffield has good cheap accommodation - get a nice 4 bed house:)

I bet the other 3 will jump at it.

Yes to maddening s idea.

"tbh it sounds normal to me. "

Really????

It would not have been considered normal where I went to university... And I never heard anything like it from friends either, or from my DBro who was at uni (a different uni, much larger city than where I was, much larger halls etc) at the same time as me.

It wasn't considered normal at the university that ds2 and dsd attended either - - both ended up at the same North London based uni (a year apart) and, coincidentally, lived in the same halls for their first year. They shared their flats with a great bunch of people and moved into shared houses with some of them. However, there were two flats that were a nightmare to live in, with much of what you describe, OP, going on.

The Accommodation Office and tutors took it very seriously and one lot got a warning and the others were given notice to get out. Interestingly, enough, what both flats had in common was that they were lived in by 18 year olds who hadn't had gap years or ever lived away from home.

I'm not saying that ds2 and dsd were other than party animals themselves. But they never trashed flats and neither did their flatmates.

Student accommodation isn't cheap even outside London and you shouldn't be paying to live like this, let alone face the possibility of coughing up for the damage they do.

Pandemoniaa - most 18 year olds havent had gap years or lived away from home. They can't all be lucky enough to have travelled the world at 18

Incidently the biggest party animals I knew at uni are the ones who got good grades and now have excellent jobs. They have more get-up-and-go than the socially hesistant bookworm types

Uni is for partying, never again will a young person have so many opportunities to have fun, there are limits of course, but the posters saying these people are "tw*ts" shows a lack of empathy - which ironically is a common trait among 18 year olds

Lighten up a little, remember what it is like to be 18 with the world at your feet!

Pandemoniaa - most 18 year olds havent had gap years or lived away from home. They can't all be lucky enough to have travelled the world at 18

I wasn't saying that that all 18 year olds have had gap years let alone that they've travelled the world. But this particular collection of 18 year olds hadn't the first clue about living independently. Right down to personal hygiene, washing clothes or even using the kitchen to make pot noodles! Unlike the flatmates that dsd and ds2 lived with - some of whom were only 18.

This is how dictatorships happen.

Put a typed note through the doors of the 'enemy' flats asking them to complain as well.

Name and identify the individuals who are causing all this damage to your accommodation mentor. Take pictures and show him. Dirty plates is normal for immature Mummy's boys who have just left home, but trashing furniture is awful.

It's not 'normal', I went to uni where there was a ratio of at least 5 males to every female (very boisterous, testosteroney environment) and this kind of disrespect was very rare.
Mijas I had the same experience as you- the biggest hellraiser of all was a very well off lad from a very MC family who had 2 landys and would ride them through the local farmers' crops.

Sorry Mijas I didn't read properly :)

Mochibloom - Universities under-recruited last year so almost everyone has spare accommodation. First speak to your hall tutor (residential or non-residential and should have 'office hours') and they will advise on next steps. If you can't find them speak to the hall manager or the central accommodation office. They may be able to move a whole group of you

this sounds very like Sheffield!

I echo the others in saying, move out! you don't have to put up with this, they are behaving terribly.

I lived in a terrible house when a student, one flatmate acquired a puppy which shat in the floor every morning beause she couldn't be arsed to get out of bed to walk it. she would then come down and stamp and scream at the poor terrified wee thing.

last time i heard she was deputy head of a nursery. Mind boggles

Mijas - there's partying and causing damage - we partied but our flat was clean and never trashed - we had the occasional traffic cone but never did that.

Is it the university owned blocks of purpose built flats-several rooms sharing bathroom kitchen and living room-opened about 1992?If so my dd was one of the first lot of students in there-they were lovely.Definitely ask to be moved if there is other accommodation available otherwise it will get worse.You will have major exams in the 3rd term and wont be able to work in the conditions you describe.Ring the student housing people now.

Take photos and show them to the housing officer.

There will be terms about living in student accommodation; if they are breach because they are behaving in such a way, its actually them who should be loosing their accommodation not you being forced out.

If you don't complain you will be held liable; if you flag it up and say you can't control their behaviour it does mean you have kept to your contract. They do have a duty to you, since you didn't pick who to live with.

I'll be honest and say it sounds all too 'normal' though unfortunately.

I know my brother shared a flat of 10. They put the dirty pans in the cupboards to avoid inspections. They were never removed. They were put there in Easter. I could visit for the smell.

And friends lived in a block where there was constantly unsociable behaviour including rubbish thrown in the stairwell and left and all night parties on a regular basis. The one when someone put his hand through a plate glass window and nearly bleed to death was special. The blood was still there weeks later. I'd have gone nuts with what they had to put up with.

BUT I think none of those who lived in either flat actually complained about it and just put up with it. So I did loose patience with the moaning. People only get away with it, if no one complains. These people are ruining your experience by being unsociable and you have paid to live there.

Exercise your right to complain.

My DD had similar issue this year including beng picked on and experiencing threatening behaviour, having flat door kicked in, woken up in small hours every night by partying, no one ever washing up etc.

After the threats and the door she made a formal complaint. She was put under a LOT of pressure not to complain as it might jeopardise the others' degrees. She complained anyway and things have been much better since, she's treated with respect and hasn't lost any friends.

They still don't wash up but she now has her own set of crockery so she uses that and washes up in the bathroom sink instead. I'm amazed at how unprepared some people are for independent living.

Leave then complain. I thought I'd lived with some dickheads but this tops the lot!

If you can't go through the housing officer, get a room on spareroom.co.uk. That's what DP and I do (he's a mature student, I'm a 'professional' ) and after a crappy houseshare when we first moved here we now live in a really nice one with awesome landlords who play board games (which is amazing to us, maybe not your thing) and a 35yo-teen-thing who is a twat but keeps out of the way most of the time so it's bearable!

RE the size, that's quite common with student accomodation down here (Brighton) too, very cheap but shitty with so many, pay a little more and you can get less people and a better atmosphere overall.

there's student piggery, and there is living in 'the young ones'. This is the latter. Take action and get shifted.

they must make their parents so proud....not...

Are you in Endcliffe OP? If so you should go to the Edge and complain at reception, if not then speak to the Union on campus, they have elected officers and paid staff that will deal with this sort of thing.

Try not to bother the Uni or your tutor unless you have to, the union are generally so good at sorting this kind of thing out that the uni doesn't really know what to do.

Can you film/photograph the damage and show that to the head of your hall? Is there CCTV? This sounds way worse than normal student antics. Get out of there now - you need to distance yourself from the situation, the longer you stay the more likely it is that you will have to pay damage charges at the end of the year.

You're a fresher, this is your first year at uni. What did you expect? This sounds pretty normal. I hate to break it to you but you sound like the boring person everyone hopes not to get.

Moochi are you at Sheffield or Sheffield Hallam?