to not find childhood sweethearts a sweet notion?

[LittleMermaidAriel]

Ok I'm prepared to get flamed for this.

My friend recently told me of a couple she knows (who are in their late 30s) who have been together since they were 13 - "isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard??"

I smiled but in my head I was thinking hell to the no. I couldn't imagine living should a sheltered life that I'd only ever been with one person.

I had my heart broken twice, it was one of the worst pains I've ever felt but I feel the experience of that has made me a much stronger person and grow up.

My husband was married before he met me and I couldn't care less that he was married before.

I was on another forum where a woman had been with her husband since 16 and they have 3 boys together. Someone started a thread about a nights out and I remember her saying she never did nights out with friends and would only go out with her husband (then boyfriend) when she turned 18 and that they would meet up with their parents at the end of the night for a drink.

All I kept thinking was what?! You never used to have girls night, dressing up, dancing and drinking. I'm not saying youth has to be drunk and drugged up partying, but surely you need some wildness in your youth?

I have another friend been with her boyfriend since 17. We lived together at one point, all the couple did was argue, and I knew that both had cheated on each other yet they are still together. Why - because they can't imagine life as being single.

I understand it's your own life and do with it as you will but there's just a part of me that cannot find the idea of childhood sweethearts sweet.

The thing is, if you happen to meet someone who makes you feel happy, when you are very young, what are you supposed to do? Dump them just in case there's a better someone out there?

Surely the point of relationships is to meet someone you want to spend your life with? That might happen with the first boy you have a serious relationship with or it might not happen til you've have a series of relationships. It's just the way it goes and neither way is better or worse.

I don't think that heartbreak is a valuable thing to experience and those who get through life without ever feeling it are incredibly fortunate imo.

" Well lI suppose it's quite sweet in a twee sort of way. And if it works for the couple. But people change so much that the person you liked when you were 15 might not be the person you like when you're 30."

This is true, of course, but is it any less true of people who get together at 25? They may well be very different at 40.

I have been with my husband since we were 16 and 17. We had both had relationships previously (me on/off for a couple of years with my "first love") and both had our hearts broken. Only slept with each other though, no regrets there.

We went to different Unis at opposite ends of the country and have both pursued our own careers and interests. We have been together 13 years now, married for nearly 5 of those.

I can't think of much I'd prefer to do less than excessive drinking/shagging/clubbing but that was true before I even met DH. Different strokes and all that .

I am certainly not smug. We have lasted this long in good part because of luck - we have both changed hugely, just in ways that mean we still "work".

YABU. Different strokes and all that.

I met my DH when we were 16 and we got married at 21. My best friend, who also went to school with us, had several relationships and got married last year at 27. I don't think her way was wrong and I hope she doesn't think our way was!

YABU. I've known DH wince we were 16, got together at 19. We went to university in different cities, split up once and had a lot of fun seperately. Compared with a lot of my friends we have quite distinct social circles because we've always made sure we had that (not that we don't get on with eah other's friends, just that we go for weekends away alone).

Knowing the time which is wasted on romantic mess, I'm glad I've had happiness and stability in that part of my life.

I was 18 and DH was my first boyfriend and first sexual partner.

went out plenty,girls holidays ect on my own.

What a strange OP.

Me and DH have been together since we were 14, married at 22 and now have 3 dc's together. We have never and do not now live in each others pockets. As previous posters have also said, we went out separately and each come home in some sorry states. DH has been away with the lads and I have been on girlie holidays as well as with each other. Now, we have some separate interests and separate friends as well as shared interests and friends.

We have been through some hard times with the good and fortunately have come through them closer. We have grown up together instead of growing apart which could quite easily have happened. I don't feel like I have missed out because I haven't slept around and as I say to rude people I encounter in RL "I have no idea if DH is good in bed as I have nothing to compare it to but he works for me".

I don't see it as sweet, just lucky that I managed to meet this amazing guy so young so that we have longer to spend together. Our way is just that....our way. Your way is your way. Neither is any better than the other, just different.

Horses for course etc

But I sort of know what you mean.

I know a few couples that have been together since 14/15 etc and their relationships are not as balanced as one party thinks.

from 16-22 the man in a couple of those couples was secretly playing the field as though he were single.

I wouldn't be over joyed if any of my children got together with someone aged 14 and stayed together forever. Id be glad if they were happy, but I don't think its ideal.

I met my DH when we were 13.

Growing up neither of us liked clubbing.

But we still had good pub nights and house parties with friends.

We are 27 now and I went clubbing for the first time last year. I wasn't missing much.

I have more fun now than ever anyway.

No regrets