....in thinking the cost of weddings is becoming beyond todays young people

[concernedrose]

DS is planning on getting married next year. He and fiance both have good jobs but are paying off student loans, and pay £850 a month in rent for a tiny one bedroomed flat. They also are trying to save for a mortgage. So imagine their (and our) horror at the price of weddings. It seems that to be able to do everything for under £10,000 is virtually impossible in the area we live in. And they have accepted they wont be able to have a honeymoon immediatly after the wedding. This seems a vast sum of money to me, but even calling in favours from friends and relatives, (ie cake making, invitation making, flower arranging) it looks like this is what it is going to cost. Oh well, anyone for beans on toast!!!

Ah but when you were younger Jins the bride's mum probably handmade all the dresses - right OwlLady?

Plus if bridesmaids decline because they are asked to pay for the dresses they then get to keep and wear again, then you could see that as just another saving and a sign that they weren't really that arsed in the first place.

Bridesmaids are so over-rated. When my then 10yr niece asked to be my bridesmaid I told her no without hesitation. Cheeky brat!

I am 35 you cheeky cow:o

I have been married 15 years though

I don't remember who made the dresses tbh. It would definitely be a sign that I wasn't arsed though.

I just think people put too much on emphasis on stuff tbh, in general. I really wasn't that bothered about the stuff element. I wanted to get married to my now husband and I wanted my sister to be bridesmaid before she died, nothing else was really that important

sorry that was a very serious post

My best friend was a teenage bride. Her mum made the bridesmaid outfits. I had to wear a peach nightie. It was way too big for me. I looked ridiculous. She kept the bloody photos too.

I can't believe I let her get away with wearing what she wanted to mine. Mind you I did ask her to scramble under the table and unstick my painted DMs that had stuck together in the warmth of the room.

See, I was so tight I didn't want to pay a fortune for wedding shoes so I just painted my DMs white. I didn't realise the paint would become sticky in the warm room though. I couldn't prise my feet apart!

Aw OwlLady - just goes to show how stuff is indeed not that important. Celebrating your special day with those who love you is. I'm pleased your sister got to be your bridesmaid and I hope you didn't force her into a peach nightie

I think it's daft to get married before you own a home

Daft to have an expensive wedding yes. But ours will cost about a thousand pounds at most. That wouldn't go anywhere near constituting a deposit (even if any mortgage company were daft enough to grant us a mortgage)

A girl in work is getting married in July. Every day we are hearing new stories of how she's fallen out with her Mum over whether to hire a bus to the reception or not; she's furious with her bridesmaid because she told someone else she hated the dress she has to wear but told the bride she loves it; the photographer quoted one price but has now increased it and its too late to find anyone else decent; the hotel want to charge extra because they forgot to include the vegetarian option in their quote; her aunty Joan won't come if her Uncle John is invited because they fell out over something last year; and on and on and on.
The girl is stressed out and exhausted trying to organise the 'happiest day of her life'.

This thread is very useful as I have just got engaged so just starting to think about our wedding.

I can certainly see how people could spend £10k quite easily if you go for the full hotel thing, sit down meal, dress from proper bridal shop, several bridesmaids etc. Even the little touches can add up - e.g. chair covers - they may only be £4 each to hire, which doesn't sound much, but have 100 guests and thats a bill of £400. Do that a few times and you could easily spend £2-3k just on the little touches that, lets' face it, most people don't really remember or appreciate anyway.

I am already starting to think of ways it can be done cheaply - I have already ditched chair covers, favours, bridesmaids dresses (just my 4 year old DD who will have a normal party dress!), cars off my list!

In my view you just need to keep your guests warm, fed, watered, and don't keep them hanging around waiting too much! And it doesn't cost much to do that.

I'm surprised more people don't elope. The idea of planning a wedding makes me want to have a stiff drink followed by a lie down.

Is it ok to ask a cousin or a friend to be a best woman and wear what they like and you don't buy them a dress?
Can you serve your own booze in an unlicensed venue (like a church hall)? I mean if you aren't charging, you just buy it and serve it? Are there usually costs associated with this like hotels charge corkage?

I think it's easy to get sucked in to the whole big wedding culture we have going on where everyone is trying to out do each other and now it seems to be more common that the hen and stag do's have to be not one night out but a week abroad etc etc.

We got married within 8 weeks of getting engaged and spent about 4k, we had the wedding we wanted but kept in mind it's not all about a wedding day it's about a marriage! I couldn't wait to marry my husband, I would have eloped just the two of us if that's what we had needed to do. Each to their own though and if you have the money then go for it but I think a lot of people lose sight of what it is actually about.

I'm starting to feel like that already squoosh and I've only been researching things for a couple of weeks!!

I couldn't be arsed to think about favours, save the day, seat covers and all that shite it took us all our energies to phone up the registry office to book that.

In fact none of that stuff would enter my head at all as being useful. So it doesn't really feel like we are cutting back

No way do you need to spend anywhere near that!!

We got married in march at a very nice hotel in Norfolk. We had 40 guests (maybe you need to cut numbers?), a sit down meal and everything else and it cost us £2500. We also had a bridal suite which was lovely with a bath big enough for two.... or three as I was heavily pregnant!

We got a cake maker to make a simple two tier white sponge cake and decorated it ourselves with dried flowers... that cost £90 for the cake.

My flowers were £100 - just a simple hand held for me and one for dd aged 9 who was my only bridesmaid.

My dress was £150 from house of fraser. Which was amazing as I tried on some which were £2000 plus in other places and I actually preferred the cheaper one.

We had a weeks honeymoon in Rome for £800 in a 4 star hotel. Which if you were really pushed you wouldn't go on.

Weddings are not what you spend but what you make them. Everyone had a lovely time at ours.

And our photographer was £450.

Chair covers? WTF?

curryeater - yes that is what I did and I think she was mightily relieved that she did not have to wear a peach nightie.
No you cannot serve booze in an unlicensed premises I don't think.
Yes hotels do charge corkage but it still works out cheaper especially if you buy your wine from Aldi and yes they do still charge corkage for screw tops as I discovered (but you had to ask right?)

You can't not have chair covers. I don't think the marriage is legal without chair covers and toning sashes.

The almond industry would seem to do a roaring trade from weddings.

Do it on a week day, my sister found out if she had her wedding on a week day, she'd have knocked a grand off.

I imagine the whole almond industry would collapse. After reading this I now think it is my moral duty to have Almonds at the wedding.

Will no one think of the almond sugarers?

At the people who make the little netty almond holding bags!

Why not be different and go for walnuts?