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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another lavatory themed AIBU

50 replies

WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis · 15/01/2013 22:48

To ask 'the ex' not to shit in my toilet.

He's over here 4 days in the week for two hours after work to see kids.

He takes about 25 mins on the average trip and uses reems and fucking reems of toilet paper. He has this weird thing of lining the bog with the paper (i mean the whole bowl) to prevent 'backsplash' He also pulls off the toilet paper and folds it into square wads (think a cm think?) and lines them up on the floor ready to use.

The whole thing just fucks me off immensely and it's got to the point where he has even said he holds it in especially for when he visits here and i'm not sure if he's joking now

AIBU to have a shit in his own house before he comes here?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis · 15/01/2013 22:48

reams obviously

OP posts:
KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 15/01/2013 22:50

Are you fucking kidding me?

Bogeyface · 15/01/2013 22:51

Assuming this isnt a joke, hide the toilet paper and when he shouts asks, tell him you have run out.

And make arrangements for him to take the kids out, it is not his home anymore.

Original poster
WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis · 15/01/2013 22:53

I had a feeling someone was going to think it was a joke. It's not a laughing matter keema

OP posts:
KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 15/01/2013 22:53

Give him a sponge on a stick.

Original poster
WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis · 15/01/2013 22:53

He comes of an evening and kids re young so no chance to get out the house.

OP posts:
northcountrygirl · 15/01/2013 22:54

YANBU! Bogeyface beat me to it - hide the loo roll!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 15/01/2013 22:54

I'm not laughing. I only laugh at funny stuff.

Trills · 15/01/2013 22:54

reams

YABU to ask someone to not poo if they need to poo

YAB less U to think that if your ex is visiting his children he should time the visit (or time his poos) so that he is actually visiting them and not just visiting your bathroom

manicbmc · 15/01/2013 22:55

Why is he seeing the kids for 2 hours in your home? Surely he should take them out somewhere?

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 15/01/2013 22:57

Do you deduct the 25mins he spends on the crapper from the 2 hours he spends with the children or is it added on at the end?

AKissIsNotAContract · 15/01/2013 22:58

Can you still buy that loo roll we had at school that was like tracing paper? Some of that should put him off his stride.

cantspel · 15/01/2013 22:59

remove the loo roll and cut up some square of an old newspaper and hang them on a hook for him

Original poster
WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis · 15/01/2013 23:04

Well of course.
When he uses the toilet the timer is stopped then restarted. The extra 25 mins or so are added on to his total time which he spends cleaning the crapper.

OP posts:
Homebird8 · 15/01/2013 23:09

He's not seeing the DCs for two hours. He's seeing them for one and a half and carrying out his other activity for the other half hour. I doubt he has them in there with him, gaily singing nursery rhymes like the rest of us have to!

Bossybritches22 · 15/01/2013 23:13

Why can't he see his children in his own house or another mutually agreed venue (one of his family if his own place not suitable? )

This is him being downright nasty & offensive like a dog cocking it's leg or crapping on your door step, marking his territory!!

Tell him to sort out his own access arangements, stop making it easy for him, it must be confusing for the kids & difficult for you, loo habits or not!

echt · 15/01/2013 23:59

OP, did your ex use the toilet on this way when you were together?

echt · 16/01/2013 00:00

In this way.

Porkster · 16/01/2013 00:02

I'm not surprised he's the ex. The wads on the floor would have been the death knell for me.

TinyDancingHoofer · 16/01/2013 00:12

It sounds like his bowels have a daily routine, at the time he finishes work. If he did this when you were together then he probably doesn't do it maliciously. Does he have IBS or anything like that?
Tell him to go a the end of work. Or text him and ask him to pick up some bog roll every time he has plans to come over. I think you are being very reasonable letting him come see the DCs at your home so often, obviously thinking of their relationship with him rather than yours.

Pandemoniaa · 16/01/2013 00:24

The Filthy Crapping Beast.

Make him dig a latrine trench. In next door's garden.

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake · 16/01/2013 00:27

Yanbu

I literally wouldn't put up with this shit.

Stop him coming over or be mysteriously out of paper.

LibraryMum8 · 16/01/2013 00:32

YANBU! That is just pure Ick! Take your loo roll and with your foot smash it in half flat. The sheets will come out one at a time and drive him nuts. Buy him the rattiest thinnest loo paper you can.

But personally I'd tell him to do his business before he comes over your house. I think that's just gross that he's marking his territory that way!

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 16/01/2013 00:34

How do you know what he does with the toilet paper? I have been with DH for 13 years and have no idea what he does in the toilet, nor do I have any desire to know.

whethergirl · 16/01/2013 00:43

YANBU, I could not put up with that.

Cut up bits of sandpaper to replace with the loo roll. Or just tell him to shit elsewhere.