Another lavatory themed AIBU

[WhatchuTalkinBoutPhyllis]

To ask 'the ex' not to shit in my toilet.

He's over here 4 days in the week for two hours after work to see kids.

He takes about 25 mins on the average trip and uses reems and fucking reems of toilet paper. He has this weird thing of lining the bog with the paper (i mean the whole bowl) to prevent 'backsplash' He also pulls off the toilet paper and folds it into square wads (think a cm think?) and lines them up on the floor ready to use.

The whole thing just fucks me off immensely and it's got to the point where he has even said he holds it in especially for when he visits here and i'm not sure if he's joking now

AIBU to have a shit in his own house before he comes here?

missy I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth after we had been together for around six month and he came in, lined the bog and pulled off the paper, folded it and placed them on the floor.

At the time I was like WTF but didn't want to say anything. That was one of the first of many indications i was with a weirdo

I'm surprised he hasn't blocked the drains!

That's what I was thinking, thegreylady. all that loo roll. And when the drains get blocked, whose job will it be to sort them out? Hmmmmm? I'm guessing not his. The toad. I don't know how you can reasonably tell someone not to poo, but you could and should remove the loo paper and maybe leave him with half a pack of handy andies or something.

Fit one of those money slots on the bathroom door, like they used to have in Public lavs. At least it will help cover the cost of the loo roll.

He's definitely marking his territory like an old tom cat! (and we all know how to stop old tom cats doing that)

He's actually trained as a plumber believe it or not.

That's exactly what I was thinking hobble

Get him some scratchy value toilet paper for when he is providing free childcare

Don't those big plastic SuperLoo contraptions have a timer lock on the door so that it slides open automatically after 15 mins? That's what I think you need.

YANBU. This is just weird. Tell him to shit elsewhere.

Put a padlock on the outside of the door. Filthy bastard.

Oh my word, he came in to set up for his impending crapping session while you were brushing your teeth

No wonder you left the bastard. He actually has the audacity to poo?. My husband NEVER poos. We expel flower petals and scented pearls in this house. YANBU.

Hang on, he lines the toilet with loo roll? I was only just getting over the anti-loo brush thread and people wiping skids off with ungloved, loo roll wrapped hands....

Goes off to lie down...

fakebook The only reason we have toilet is because of him and his dirty shitting ways. Me and my children expel scented gas like you. We then bottle it and sell it at the market.

OP- why does he come to you rather than the children going to him? What age are they?

I disagree that it makes things easier for the children I think it makes it very confusing and stressful for all concerned, blurs the boundaries & doesn't help underline the relationship is over and Mummy & Daddy are being civil (maybe even friendly one day) but apart.

Whether he is being malicious, OCD or downright manipulative it is not on & I think the OP is suffering as a result, bet it's not the only little "quirk" this tosser is irritating her with!

Day 1. Pretend you have no loo paper.
Day 2. Put cheapo loo paper in the toilet AND say you have to go out without the kiddies somewhere (doctors etc. - if you trust him alone in house!). If they're too young to go out then they're too young to be left alone for the 25 mins he's on the lav!
Always put the cheap loo paper in! Hopefully day 1 & 2 will start to break his habit down!

YANBU.Can you not just say, stop taking a shit in my loo. My DH's friend used to do this at ours and leave quite a mess, DH sorted it just by saying don't you have your own bog you can mess up you dirty bastard, men are so much better at dealing with things like that, issue brought up, issue over.

He takes 25 minutes to poo? That not normal. I think he needs CBT or exlax.

Ever heard of OCD? Sounds like that to me.

I also use the splashback method at other people's houses - also prevents skidmarks on your bowl. So you should be grateful. Not bitching about him pooing in your lav.

You cannot turn round to someone and say "do not poo in my house". You can't time your bowels!!

Actually lol'd at this post.

you need to put extra tissue down to avoid "neptunes kiss" No one wants a wet arse. Cant blame the fella

no but this lining of the bog is excessive not just a bit. He uses loads

What is it about men and pooing? My DH goes into the loo, is in there for about 20 minutes and flushes the toilet AT LEAST 5 times before he comes out! .

I'm too fucking terrified to ask why, I'm afraid I won't be able to 'un-hear' what he tells me and I'll never look at him the same way again!

YANBU!

Apparently
"its the only time i get to myself"

bull.shit.

The only time I have heard of "lining the loo" was in the "toiler-equette" chapter of our Motorhome handbook! (Where you lay strips of paper in chemical loo bowl so any deposits get "wrapped" in paper on way down & avoid need for nasty cleaning episodes.

YANBU

I thought he was there to see the DCs, not to be alone!

He is likely to spend a lot of time alone :)

How old are the dc?