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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think nursery should send child home!

42 replies

eggs11 · 14/01/2013 11:03

a mum from DS's nursery wrote on twitter last night that her DD was being sick and had a high temperature. She is a 'sickly' child, and catches everything. Yet when I dropped DS off, there she was! I said to the teacher, wow is that girl in?!?! Her mum said she was being sick last night! Teacher was obviously angry and said the mum only wrote that the DD had a high temp.

I am so sick of DS getting ill because people think nursery's and schools should look after ill kids. It's hard to get time off when you have a sickly child, who is ill a lot. But that doesn't mean its fair to send your child in, infect lots of other children, so others end up taking time off too!

Was I being unfair telling the teacher? I'm just fuming she thinks its okay to send the daughter in. It's not the first time either!!!

OP posts:
quoteunquote · 14/01/2013 11:08

complete out of order,

Ask her not to do it in future, I wouldn't pussyfoot around just tell her that not only is she being unfair to the child, but she has no right to risk passing infections to others.

Fakebook · 14/01/2013 11:09

I don't know...you sound like a busy body doing that. My dd was in nursery from a baby to 4 years and caught every bug going when she was 0-2. She never gets ill now and when she does its just a mild cold. I wouldn't have cared tbh. But I'm like that about bugs; I never bothered sterilising bottles and things because its just pampering the immune system.

Cherriesarelovely · 14/01/2013 11:10

Yanbu, very annoying.

TiggyD · 14/01/2013 11:11

If you send a sick child to nursery other children will get sick too.

In other words, if you send a sick child to nursery you will be causing other children pain and suffering when they get ill.

There isn't much difference between sending a sick child into a nursery, and walking around the nursery slapping the children in the face.

Original poster
eggs11 · 14/01/2013 11:11

I'm not crazy about bugs. I never steralized a single thing of DS's (BF till 1, and eating since 5months with non-steralized bowls). I think that's a different issue to my 1 year old being round a baby that's vomitted in the last few hours, and not really being 'crazy about bugs'!!!

OP posts:
Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 14/01/2013 11:18

Not that I'm defending her - my DH took off today because DD1 was sick once last night at 7pm - but I suppose I'm fatalistic about this one. Because really, most of the time children are more contagious before they show symptoms, so the damage is done. Mine only go two days a week, and even then the amount of times I've dropped a completely fine child off only to find that by that evening they're sick, and the next day half the nursery is also sick.

So, yes, she shouldn't have done it, but I wouldn't take it further. Chances are her DD had already infected the rest of the place before the sickness started.

Fakebook · 14/01/2013 11:18

But your child will get that bug some time or other. So if he got it now, why is it different from another time?

kinkyfuckery · 14/01/2013 11:23

YANBU to tell the teacher what you heard about the child being sick. I doubt the nursery could send her home on your word, though.

Tailtwister · 14/01/2013 11:30

YANBU. It's a nightmare when people do this. The school nurse had to send out an email recently reminding parents there's a 48h exclusion (following last vomiting episode). Lots of people still sent children in though and consequently the bug tore through the whole place.

IHeartKingThistle · 14/01/2013 11:31

YANBU.

Fakebook that's all very well for you, but you have to consider other people too. I live in fear of people sending their sick children to school because I have stomach problems that mean stomach bugs will make me very very ill. You don't know what issues other people have.

Fakebook · 14/01/2013 11:40

Well I completely understand a parents concern if their child has underlying health problems, but what I'm trying to say is that you can contract things from everywhere. If not from nursery then from other people they come into contact with. Like someone has said above, an illnesses are normally most contagious when there are no symptoms. So you can't pinpoint blame on certain children.

Original poster
eggs11 · 14/01/2013 11:54

Between leaving school where I had various illnesses in childhood, to my DS starting nursery, I can count the amoount of times I was ill on one hand. Now in less than a year I've been sick so many times, including norovirus where I was in bed for 10 days vomitting. I don't care what you say Fakebook, it's fact nurserys are full of germs!

Amount of illness I contacted during my adult life before I had a child is nothing! One of the main reasons they are so germy is irresponsible parents like this. My son is much more likely to catch a bug in a room cooped up with babies all putting toys in their mouths, sharing milk/water (they shouldn't but do) and generally touching each other all day!

I can't pinpoint blame on certain children, but if there is one that constanly gets sent in when they've been vommiting it's not hard to work out!

OP posts:
BombayBadonkadonks · 14/01/2013 12:15

A friend of mine commented on Facebook about sending her DS to school the following day even though he was still throwing up.

Quite a few people commented that she should wait the 48hrs once he stopped but she was adamant that she was going to send him!

Katnisscupcake · 14/01/2013 12:16

This really angers me aswell OP. My anger is probably slightly more related to fear however as I am an Emetophobe (phobia of vomiting). I can cope with DD being ill the fear is if I can catch it. So at this time of year the anxiety I feel is excessive.

Like any phobia, the fear is irrational but nonetheless it is there. I would be livid if I came face to face with someone who had sent their DC into nursery/school so soon after vomiting and it's the only time I would actually confront someone, I am generally very calm and very non-confrontational (almost to the extreme of being a wuss) but my phobia is so bad that I have to fight with logic even to take my DD to pre-school every day, knowing the potential for her to pick up a sickness bug.

This phobia is one of the few where there is really no way you can avoid it so I don't have a choice but to live with constant anxiety (I've tried therapy and it didn't work). So when I hear things like this, it makes my bloody boil. I know that these things go around but knowing that someone has knowlingly risked infecting others, is really out of order.

JustFabulous · 14/01/2013 12:22

YANBU

Saying a child will get ill at some point so might as well be now is beyond ridiculous.

I think people need to be less selfish and I think everyone has a duty to think about how their actions may potentially effect others.

At my children's school there are children who potentially could die if they caught something. If you knowlingly send your child into school ill and then another child gets ill and dies. Still feel okay with your decision?

Fakebook · 14/01/2013 12:27

I don't care what you say Fakebook, it's fact nurserys are full of germs!

I couldn't agree more.

nevermindthecrocodiles · 14/01/2013 12:29

Honestly, whilst I think the 48hr thing is there for a reason, it can be quite annoying to miss a day of work when the previously sick child is recovered and full of beans. However, if your child has a high temperature and is clearly ill why the hell would you send her/him into nursery or school? Unfair to your child and unfair to the other children - plus staff who then have to spend a disproportionate amount of time caring for the sick child at the expense of other children.

5madthings · 14/01/2013 12:34

Yes children can get I'll anytime, that doesn't mean you send a child who has been vomiting in the last 24-48hrs to nursery or school! The doh guidelines are what they are for a reason!! Small children are not known for their personal hygiene skills!! Sickness bugs spread like wildfire.

Offs if committing children can go to nursery why don't you go the whole hog and send children with chickenpox in as well as they are bound to get it anyway?!! Hmm ridiculous argument!

Yanbu op I would have been annoyed as well, not much the nursery can do tho.

Next time take a photo of the fb status!

Jenny70 · 14/01/2013 12:49

I would be cross at parents bringing in child who has been sick & temp etc. But I would be even more furious with the nursery. Mum has said her little girl had a temp, and they obviously haven't asked any more probing questions about how well she was - if Mum hadn't said anything at dropoff then all the blame lies at her feet, but she mentioned to staff that her child was unwell (kids don't just have temps, it's a sign the body is fighting off something and needs to rest).

When Mum said she has a temp, nursery staff should have sent her home then and there...

ResolutelyCheeky · 14/01/2013 12:55

It is so bloody selfish. Someone even admitted to me that their DC had been up all night being sick when she bought her DC to my DC's birthday party. Great!
I did challenge whether her DC should be there but her DC missing out on a party was more important Hmm

SunflowersSmile · 14/01/2013 12:55

YANBU.
I would 'tell' too.
Selfish behaviour.

vigglewiggle · 14/01/2013 13:01

I share your annoyance, but I feel even more sorry for the child in question. Presumably they are ill and should be at home being cared for - not bundled off to a busy nursery. Sad

Original poster
eggs11 · 14/01/2013 13:15

I text her. She sent me a horrid text back, mind my own business, he's not ill now etc :(

OP posts:
Original poster
eggs11 · 14/01/2013 13:18

She said 'you need to text the parents of the children who are properly ill'.

I'M SO ANGRY! If high temp and vomitting isn't properly ill then what is?

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 14/01/2013 13:19

What i don't like, is that i will keep the children off because they are ill......but then the school are counter productive with the attendance awards and gifts for the children who has 100%.

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