I rather suspect I am, but I need to have a bit of a rant...

[LadyFlumpalot]

I shall stamp my feet and declare it to be unfair here so that I don't do it in real life.

I do know I am being unreasonable.

MIL came into a substantial amount of money recently through a lottery win. Think 5 numbers.

She has given us £240 to share between myself, DH and DS.

She has given SIL £900.

SIL lives at home rent free. She has no expenses other than a £10 a week bus fare to her well paid job.

DH and I are struggling to meet our rent at the moment each month, neither of us have particularly well paying jobs and our sons childcare just decimates all of our wages.

I am very grateful for the amount she has given us, it is going into the heating oil savings, I just wish she had maybe shared it out a bit more equally that's all.

Rant and feet stamping over...

Nah, that would piss me off too.

It is her money to do with as she likes, etc. etc., but you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel a bit narked.

Has she said why? Was there any attempt at a rationale?

I know it is up to her how she deals with her own money but I would be feeling a bit peed off too tbh. Have a good rant on here and then forget about it!

Maybe she hoped SiL would move out if she had a couple of months rent in her bank account?!

I don't think you are, actually. Many/most people would share a lottery win with immediate family/charity or friends, I think and if they are going to share with their children they should either divide equally (best) or on the basis of need, imo. Very, very mean to give less financially needy sil more than you!

Why has she done that? There must be a reason for it.

No, no rationale given. She didn't actually tell us how much she was giving SIL, it was SIL that told us how much she had been given.

I can't help sitting here thinking that £900 would pay for a whole tank of heating oil for us, or nearly two months rent, or 8 weeks childcare. I know SIL is going to spend it on gadgets as she is gadget lady.

I'd be feeling a bit gutted TBH. £240 is a bit of a bizarre amount, as well. (particularly as it doesn't divide by 3!). Most folks would have thought of giving you, say, £1000 if they'd had a win like this. Couldn't DH have a quiet word with her and say, 'Mum, money is so tight at the moment that it would have been nice if you could have given myself and Sis the same amount at least'...?

Maybe it was an incentive to get SIL out off the house, like a deposit on a flat

YANBU

I would be bloody annoyed if my parents did that!

Perhaps she is hoping that SIL will move out?

andadietcoke You could well be right actually! I know they want SIL to stand on her own two feet. Unfortunately she is too comfortable at home!

Are either gifts meant to pay for something in particular?

Sowornout - it's £100 for me, £100 for DH and £40 for DS.

id be pissed off and i wouldn't accept it

as in i wouldn't accept the money

Branleuse - we are too skint to not accept it.

sowornout - £240 does divide by 3 (£80 each) but still an odd amount. I would be really pissed off and it would make me snippy and plan evil things like give her a tiny birthday / Christmas present that was worth obviously less than someone elses's. But I would never carry them out as I am a wimp.

Were you told that that was the split? it does seem odd. (and in some ways worse than just £240 for the household, as it means DH gets 100 while his dsis gets nine times that.

Was anyone else in the family given money? (wondering if you got the same as others, but the sister go more than everyone else for example)

I'd be pissed off too. It's unfair not to give you an equal share - even if she gave DH and SIL the same (say £600 each) and his was to share with you and DS. I'm guessing there aren't any (many?) other brothers and sisters so it doesn't seem like she's had to stretch it too far, so even the amount(s) seem pretty mean.

TiaMaria

It's £100 for me, £100 for DH and £40 for DS. SIL volunteered the information that she was given £900 of her own accord.

Importantly, I don't THINK MIL knows that we know, IYSWIM?

I don't think anyone else in the family has been given anything, I think the win was about £10k-ish, we don't know the exact amount.

Did she really give SIL that amount? Or is SIL prone to a little bit of shit stirring?

I'm very sorry everyone, I'm on the phone app and the formatting seems not to work.

Also, my dinner is ready so I will catch up and try to reply later.

Well I think your dh should ask.

I was all ready to call unreasonable but actually I think it is fine to be a bit peeved that you have received less than SIL. I don't think you would be entitled to say anything to her about it, but totally acceptable to be quietly upset by it.

YANBU. It is not fair at all.

But... to be very picky, if £900 would pay for 8 weeks childcare, it's hardly "decimating your wages" even if you are both on minimum wage.