To still be angry that I was refused gas & air in labour?

[DigestivesWithCheese]

I gave birth to twins two weeks ago. I was booked for a c-section because I've had two previously (one for failure to progress, one elective) and was not planning to labour naturally for any length of time so I hadn't made a birth plan or discussed pain relief options.

I was 36 weeks & was in hospital being checked because I'd been having regular, 10 minute apart contractions for two days. I had an internal exam and the Dr told me that my cervix was closed, long sand posterior (although it was soft), that labour was not imminent & that I could go home. Ten minutes later, my waters broke. I was on the ante-natal ward, not delivery.

Five minutes after my waters broke, I had an extremely painful contraction. They started coming 4/5 mins apart & after two of them I knew I needed pain relief and asked for gas & air. The midwife said no because I had just been checked & was not in active labour. They knew my waters had just broken. They kept coming and each one was stronger to the point where I felt like I was being tortured & electric shocks in my legs . I started to vomit with every one due to the pain.

With every contraction I made my way to the midwives office & BEGGED for gas & air. They kept saying it was too early & telling me I had to stay on my bed. After about half an hour the anaesthetist arrived to do a pre-op, so I begged him instead! He said that he didn't mind at all if I had gas & air and he went to talk to the midwives. They said I was allowed pethidine instead - this made me dizzy but it didn't touch the pain.

My DH arrived & found me on my own, vomiting & unable to speak, with contractions every 3/4 minutes. I was on a ward with other women who were waiting to he induced so it can't have been pleasant for them! The pain was completely out of control & I can still remember it quite clearly. DH went to speak to the midwives & they agreed to call a Dr.

When the Dr arrived, it was two hours after my waters had broken. She checked me & I was 6/7 cm and then I was told I could have the gas & air while they got me ready for the c-section! By this time, I was so out of my mind with the pain that the gas & air didn't even help. The half hour while waiting to go to theatre was horrendous and I was fighting anyone who tried to touch me . I had gas & air when I was in early labour with my son & it was brilliant. I believe if I'd been given it when I first asked, I could have stopped the fear & pain building up so much and I would have been able to stay on control for much longer.

I know it was only 2 hours that I was refused for but I am still thinking about it every day! Knowing that they had it there but were refusing to give it to me was just horrible and I felt totally helpless. The midwife kept saying that she would get into trouble if she gave it to me "too early" but it was so obvious I was in labour that I find it hard to believe that. They kept telling me that I needed to calm down . It just seems so for patients to be left in pain, in a hospital when they are asking for pain relief that could help.

Definitely contact PALS and go through the complaints procedure. This is not acceptable. Sorry it was such an awful experience but I hope your babies are doing well.

YANBU. I had a similar situation with DD and it was horrendous - laboured on early labour ward until 8cm with no pain relief, screaming :(

Wow, that sounds awful :( Sorry to hear about your experience.

You should be able to request your notes and a debrief - there may have been a medical reason why they kept refusing it?

With my DS I asked for gas and air early on and was advised against it because they said they liked to keep it for the later stages if possible, but it was clear to me that if I had insisted I would have been able to have it. To have a policy of refusing it until a certain stage seems insane. I'm sure there's some kind of regulatory body who handle complaints about maternity services who you could speak to? Something Liason I think.

YANBU. God love you, I feel for you. Sometimes midwives think they know best when in fact they don't. You do have to get past this, but it will take time.

Yes, PALS - and there's another one, I think AIMS or AMIS or something? (I'm sure somebody will know!)

This sounds barbaric. Complain, for your own sake and other women.

You poor thing you sound pretty traumatised. I would request my notes ASAP then make a complaint.

Would also maybe see if you can find a counsellor experienced in birth trauma and have a debrief, might really help.

Best wishes.

YANBU. I'd definitely be complaining about that, no way should you have been left to suffer, hopefully those involved are capeable of learning a lesson so they don't do it to anyone else. Congratulations on your twins :)

Yanbu. I had similar with dd1. They wouldn't believe I was really in labour (had been induced and they didn't believe it would work) until I was pushing on the ward still. If men gave birth I swear they wouldn't be treated the way women are...

YANBU. I agree with contacting PALS and getting your notes, that is awful.

Similar happened to me with third labour but it was very quick so was over sooner. It is still the only one of my labours I can recall with vividness because of the intensity of the pain. I can remember being surprised I was still alive afterwards! I wanted to complain but never did and now regret it. Please complain for the sake of other women.

Thank you for your quick responses. I have been feeling as if I would like to make a complaint but wondered if I was being a bit ridiculous - it's nice to know that other people agree that it was wrong!

Part of the issue, apparently, was that it was NYE which meant that there was only "one team" of Drs working on delivery suite. Normally there arr a few teams. Because the "one team" was on theatre, the midwife said she was unable to contact a Dr to get me checked sooner. I am annoyed about this as well - women are just as likely to go into labour at New Year! I think it's unacceptable to run down the staffing to the extent that there are no Drs available. I could ring PALS - I think if I don't then the whole thing is likely to haunt me for longer, whereas if I complain at least I'll feel like I've done something.

I think this logic that you need to wait until the 'later stages' until you have any kind of pain relief is totally barbaric and I really don't get it.

IF you are in so much pain in early labour that you need gas and ever, just give the women gas and air for goodness sake. She can then go onto other things like an epidural if it continues to be unbearable.

Makes me so angry for you op. I had an awful labour and was angry at the way I was treated during some of it, but you do get over it in time...

Yanbu. Similar happened to me and I still feel pretty bitter about it. I think they let me completely lose control which marred my birth experience. They shut me up with pethidine instead and I got g&a at 10cm when I was ready to push.

YANBU, please do complain, in the hope of stopping someone else from going through the same thing.

YANBU, that is dreadful. Please do complain to PALS for the sake of other women who may experience similar in future if this isn't addressed. Have they offered you a Birth Afterthoughts session? I don't know if it's standard in all areas but all new mothers at my hospital are offered this, even if they've had an uneventful birth.

I am so angry and sad for you. I hope you're ok.

YANBU!

I had a slightly similar situation where the doctor checked at the end of his evening shift. An hour later, contractions hit like a freight train and the midwives absolutely insisted that I was not in labour. Told me to go to bed and be quiet.

I had to time contractions for a long time (2 minutes apart) and literally BEG the midwife to put a finger in and check my cervix. She kept saying the doctor would see me in the morning and I was maybe feeling "a bit of a nip" but it wasn't really true labour yet.

Once I finally convinced her to check the cervix, she announced I was 8cm and in labour.

I think to them it was just about night shift and not wanting to be birthin' no babies. As if telling me I wasn't in labour would make it true until morning.

I have no idea how they can think like this because even a lay person like me knows labour is different in every woman.

Oh, and this was not my first. I knew what labour felt like, thank you very much.

I'm still mad thinking about it!

Anyway, I second what the others are saying about complaining. Give 'em hell!

Poor you, that's dreadful.

I second having a birth debrief when you feel up to it. And definitely complain.

I was also refused gas & air initially as they only wanted to give it to me when I was in "active" labour and when they examined me I was still only 2cm. I ended up being given diamorphine which didn't touch the pain, really. My contractions were every 3 minutes at 2cm dialated and I remember barely being able to cope with it. Baby was in awkward position, labour progressed slowly, it was absolutely torturous. After about 12 hours of this I finally got an epidural. The gas and air had zero effect when I was finally allowed it, I just felt so out of control with the pain by then.

Ah, the joys of childbirth.

I think you absolutely should make a complaint. Your experience sounds horrendous. The fact that you were left alone like this sounds like extreme neglect. Poor you. That's awful.

I second third fourth 27th echo make a complaint.

That experience is dreadful. I vomited copiously on gas and air so it did not help me, but i was in such pain in very very early labour that i literally (and yes i mean literally, pedants :) ) passed out between contractions, and still my MW said of me dismissively when handing over that i was 'making heavy weather' of it.

Both DS and i nearly died in the end, and i never made a complaint as i was too afraid of repercussions.

I really believe now with hindsight i should have complained. Because someone should have heard MY voice.

I would go for a birth debrief. It will give you a chance to talk through ehat happened and get it styaight in your head. Also you can see what they have wrote about your labour and correct them. If you still think that you want to complain you have the evidence of what they say went on compared to your and dh's version.

I find it really weird as to why G&A is refused early on. I have always been offered that first so wondering if it could be a hospital trust thing. In any case it was shocking that they left you in obvious pain for so long. Hope you and the twins are doing well.

You are definitley NBU.

That's shocking you MUST complain in writing as soon as possible while it's all still fresh in your mind. Do you think they were running short on gas and air or is this hospital policy for all? Or we're you the victim of a mistake?. Demand answers, don't play it down 2 hours is an ETERNITY to be refused the pain relief that you requested. Your post was distressing reading and I'm really angry on your behalf. Write the ultimate complaint letter (keep a copy and note the day it was sent special delivery) and let them know that you expect a reply and that this situation is dealt with so other women don't experience what you have. Hope you feel better about it when you've sent that letter, don't let that cloud cast a shadow over you and your lovely new babies.

YADNBU Poor you!

Something very similar happened to me at my local hospital. Was on pre-natal ward due to my waters breaking at 27 weeks. Went in on the Monday, by Friday at 2pm, was in massive pain with contractions. Had been told by midwife on first day that, should I feel the slightest, possibly labour, twinge to tell the nurses or midwives so they could attempt to halt the labour.

Midwife showed no interest at all. Refused to believe me, treated me with no respect at all. Kept going over and she kept telling me I had no idea what labour felt like as I'd "wimped out" and had an elective with my dd.

At 6pm, they did changeover while we all went to get dinner. Except I was in so much pain, sick with it just like you, I couldn't get up anymore. One of the other ladies went and shouted for help.

I then got a lovely midwife who took one look at me and started to get consultants and the like down as an emergency. I was crying, Dp was miles away, I thought I'd lose my ds. Worse time I've ever had in my life.

Due to the hours they waited, they couldn't stop the labour and he was born at 28 weeks at 8.20pm. I had severe bleeding (Placenta abrution), and wanted to punch the shit out the ignorant midwife who fobbed me off.

When Ds was 3 months old in scbu, the same Midwife was coming along the same corridor, and made some catty remark to a trainee "oh this one thought she was clever and wanted to go home (?) and then her son was born early". She then looked straight at me and said "bet you wish you'd have listened now?" I let her know exactly what I thought of her, and told her I held her responsible for the upset and pain my child was going through due to her, and told her I hope she got what was coming to her.

I wish I'd have made a full complaint. Maternity staff need compassion, not ignorance and it pisses me off that this goes on. Problem is we are either too caught up in an ill child (like me) or too caught up and busy being a new Mum (like you OP) to make a proper complaint.